| Show what i d lV thinks about BEVERLY EVERLY HILLS CALIF It It may be old to you but its it's new out here here here- Small Prussian town turns out for traveling circus Ferocious Ferocious Ferocious Fero Fero- cious lion escapes villagers flee madly Sinewy stranger grapples single handed single v with ravening ravening ening ravening brute twists Us its Jaws hammers hammers ham ham- mers Its Us nose boots It back Into cage cate Entire community starts Jubilation tion flags tIon-flags flags flying bands playing burgomaster p puts put u t s son son on his high hat bat special train rushIng rushIng rush- rush N in Ing the hero to Berha Berl Berlin Ber Ber- l lin ha n to be decorated decorated deco deco- i rated by Herr Hitler Hitler Hitter Hit Hit- ler ter as reincarnation c tion of ot ancient Nordic Nordic Nor Nor- t. t rf n dic ells demigods typifyIng typifying spirit of ot old German stocks stocks all all that sort of ot thIn thing Sud Suddenly enly hideous Irvin IrvInS S. S Cobb discovery Is made madeI I that s strangers stranger's t ran g e rs r's background Is not Teutonic the family name being Ginsberg Celebration Celebration Cele Cele- bration called oft off flags furled bands I sneak home special train canceled burgomaster has bOas apoplexy And next day the local paper comes out with scathing article under under under un un- un- un der the headline Jew Attacks De De' Defenseless Defenseless Lion Criminal Lawyers WERE WE'RE ERE a funny people Did we read where In some off far-off country men who had access to zoos picked the tha locks on the cages and freed the man eating tigers and the thirsty bloodthirsty wolves and the deadliest poison polson snakes to go forth and kill again wed we'd marvel at a aland aland aland land which endured such a thing But when In our own land criminal criminal crim crim- inal lawyers truthfully boast that of ot all an the Individuals charged with deliberate murder whom they have defended no single one ne ever went to noose or pr chair and that ever everso everso everso so many more were by their skill saved from the prisons where we weare weare weare are supposed to pen our human tigers tigerS ti tigers ti- ti gerS gers and wolves s and snakes we give these geniuses our admiration and much free ree advertising and young oung lawyers crave to follow In their Illustrious footprints We are Indeed a n funny people people- so funny tunny Its It's hard to decide whether er we should laugh at ourselves ourselves- or weep Husbands and Wives L LOTS T of matrimony In the news now that marriage Instead of being a contract Is a ninety day op op- tion A gentleman who's president of the the take take a deep breath breath AmerIcan American Creative Lea League of ot Harmony and Music Students declares if 11 suit Ill ed couples learn the guitar happIness happiness happiness happi happI- ness would return the guitar he lie states being the most romantic Instrument instrument Instrument In In- strument there Is But once In vaudeville audeville I saw a peevish helpmate helpmate help help- mate crown friend husband with an all Inlaid guitar and It didn't seem todo todo to todo do him any uny real good F Slowing Up Youth O OBVIOUSLY Its It's too late to save the confirmed speed-maniacs speed among the adult population They wont won't be with us long an anyhow how and will be missed by but few If an any Every time one olla of these madmen whizzes past I find myself saying to the back of ot his neck Well brother glad to have this glimpse at you Probably Ill I'll not be he seeing you again unless I should drop In at the morgue t the e day you arrive But ma maybe he we might help to In Insure insure lu- lu sure the oncoming generations b by Inaugurating a definite course of 01 ju ju- ju- ju venue venile education Lets Let's start with the babies lets let's make It a fixed and required ritual In every kindergarten ten every ery public or private parochial parochial parochial paro paro- chial school yes school yes every ery Sunday school every Boy Scout camp and nt at every girls girl's campfire every ery place where youngsters are gathered Over and over again lets let's pound It Into them that reckless driving Is neither gallant nor smart nor sporting but that It Is stupid and criminal and vicious and murder murder- o oils ous us Desolation of Floods T TilE THE HE first time Ume we went vent to Venice my wife wiCe looked across the Grand canal and said Did you ever see an It 1 And trying to be he funny I said Absolutely looks Just lIl like e South Third street did during the bi big rise In 1013 If It right now a fellow Ina ina In Ina a skiff skier should come rowing up to this window to collect the water- water rent Id I'd swear I was wass back home That seemed a u sorry Joke as I rea read of or a monstrous yellow torrent sweeping down on the beleaguered lowlands where my ray people have lived for nearly a century and a half bringing ruin on Its crest and desolation In Its wake Surely nature has hns been pitiless this last year year and dust dust- storms forest fires and blizzards bUzzards and and now these cruel cruet floods Still amid the I afflictions one consoling thought gleams like a n 1 star congress contress will adjourn pretty soon IRVIN S. S COBB Copyright |
