Show Ate You a joine Then Here Are Some z e o oe i You ou Rave tv vcr ed The Society to Prevent Parents Naming Nam The Society of Men Who Vho o Wear Vear Funny y ing Their Offspring Cla Clarence ence 0 e Hats Hat The Society for the Prevention of Calling Call Can The Hay Fever Ha Y Fever Association a ing Sleeping Car Porters George The Quiet Birdmen The Royal Order of Hard Boiled Hard Boiled Owls The Woodland Bards Bard with Rubber Ears The Caterpillar Club The Th eq Ancient and Honorable Order of The Benjamin Franklins l G. G Wash Pullers Puller The National Society of Long Fellows Fellow The Guild of Fo Former r m er Organ The Society of Giant En Engineers Engineer racers The Tho Ancient Order of Froth Blowers The Fossils F The Slumbering Ground Hog Lodge The Cub Reporters' Reporters Association j e The International Bar Flies Flie The Sick and Sorry Club The Headed Bald Club of America The Sons of Wild Jackasses Jackasses' Club J r The Society of Authors Who Vho Have Havo The Ship Model Model Makers Makers Makers' Club Been Hissed The Club The Circus Fans Association The Bean Barrel Club The Ancient and Honorable Order of The Polar Bear Club Blue Goose 0 The Ancient Honorable and Mystical The Six-Foot Six Association o Lapa Order of Lapa Lapas i io o t tab h I ISI tl r C SI y 0 A 4 1 Q o t ch P r S t F A I 4 t By ELMO SCOTT WATSON OME one has made the wise-crack wise J. J that if Ir two or more men meet an anywhere any any- where In the world and one of them themis is an Englishman he will Immediately immediately Immedi immedi- get busy and organize a n club the insinuation being of course that the Englishman Is by nature a n Joiner Even Eyen if that were true the fact remains that he has little if It anything on his American cousin cousinIn In this respect For reliable statistics statistics statis statis- tics show that there are In the United States more than lodges or fraternal organizations which should presumably satisfy the tho longing of ot the majority of ot Americans for belonging But that doesn't take Into account tho the Innumerable clubs societies associations and other organizations organizations organizations and rare Indeed Is the American who doesn't belong to one or more of ot these All of ot these of ot course are organized for a n purpose social purpose social political civic business scIentIfic scientific scientific professional patriotic and honorary honorary and and those purposes are earnestly fostered by millions mil mIl- mIllions lions of ot earnest Americans And some of ot these earnest Americans are so Interested In fostering those earnest purposes that they make an nn earnest earnest earn earn- est effort to see how many of ot them they can Join joIn and and then base their claim to fame tame on the number of ot organizations to which they belong But If It some n aforesaid earnest American becomes becomes becomes be be- comes Just a bit tired of ot his membership in clubs which ha have e a n purpose he still has an nn outlet for his Joining proclivities In some organizations organizations organ organ- which are arc not so purposeful These are arc the ones which have sometimes been designated ns as freak reak and fun clubs and it is with this type of ot organization that this article deals So If it you are a joiner and are looking for tor other club worlds to conquer take a look at the list at atthe atthe atthe the head of ot this article and decide which one you would like to Join Of Ot course the tIe qualifications for tor or some of ot them may be a bit difficult for tor you ou to meet but If It you arent aren't eligible for one you you may be for tor another For Instance If It you arent aren't a white person six feet teet and ono one Inch tall or more you'd be almost Instantly blackballed if It you applied for member- member hip In the National Society of ot Long Fellows or orthe orthe orthe the Six Foot association The National Society of ot Long Fellows was started several years ago ngo by Phil E. E Zimmerman of ot Topeka Kan Fan when he be was hotel commissioner of ot the Sunflower state Since that time the club has grown so so rapidly that there are now several thousand members throughout the United States State Some of ot the objectives of ot the club are to get longer bath tubs shirts sox sor and other clothing higher awnings signs and ceilings bigger seats In theaters and room leg between the rows restaurant tables that do not require the Long LongFellow LongFellow LongFellow Fellow to hold them up with his knees and pullman pull pull- pullman man berths In which they can sleep without doubling up like a jackknife Among members are John Ansen Aasen of ot Los Angeles Angeles An An- geles Calif who heads the list with a height of ot eight feet nine and quarter one-quarter Inches Next tallest Is CUt Clif Thompson of ot Wisconsin who Is eight feet and six Inches Three seven footers are 0 O. R. R Williams of ot Oklahoma and Ruth Duncan Duncan Dun Dun- can and Forest Glenn of ot Illinois Mr Williams Is 15 seven seen feet teet and five flye Inches Miss Duncan Is seven feet teet and one inch tall and Mr Glenn Is half baIt an inch taller taHer than she year Ten-year-old Roberr Robert Robert Rob Rob- ert err Wadlow of Alton Ill is a member Ro Robert ert 11 feet and eleven Inches tall If It your personal appearance doesn't qualify you for tor that one perhaps an absence of ot hair on your head will make you OU a Knight of ot the Gleaming Skull In the tIle Bald Head Dead Club of ot America That club was started away back In 1000 1400 when Paul Meade Mcade a n lawyer of ot New York took a photograph photograph photo photo- graph of ot six headed bald men seated on the steps of John Beldens Belden's store In Falls Village Conn By chance a copy of ot this photograph fell tell Into the hands of John a n GreenwIch Greenwich Greenwich Green Green- Conn newspaper man And presto 1 I John Johnthen Johnthen Johnthen then and there formed a n club Now It has more than 1000 members and at every annual banquet banquet banquet ban ban- some member gives a n stirring speech on Hair Tonics Tonica Which Headed Bald-Headed Barbers Barbera Sell to Headed Bald-Headed Boobs or some come such lIuch subject P. P 8 S. If It youre you're addicted to covering your your baldness with outlandish headgear then theres there's a place for tor you in the Society of ot Men who Wear Funny Hats I Ever go KO to the circus circus' Sure Sorel I I you answer Go every year year year-don't don't dont care much about It m myself my self but I have to take the children But Just because youre you're a regular attendant It doesn't mean menn that youre you're eligible for tor membership In the Circus Fans of ot America not America not unless at some time in your Juvenile career you earned you way Into the show by carrying water for the elephant Karl Kae Kac Knecht an nn Indiana newspaper cartoonist cartoonist car car- who founded the C. C F. F A. A some five years ago Is authority for tho the statement that man many successful men of ot today are proud of the fact that they once served the thirsty pachyderms and they're enthusiastic members of this club In a n certain New York restaurant theres there's an au unusual booth for tor diners Over the entrance of what appears to be a tent are the words SideShow SideShow Side SideShow Show and adorning the front are two large gau gaudy y circus banners One boldly announces announces- the Nono Nono the Wild Girl She GIrl She Speaks No Language Playmates are Deadly Serpents Another heralds La Belle Rosa Rosa Flower Flower of ot the Orient Orient- Queen of ot the Deserts Favorite Deserts Favorite of ot Sultans Inside Inside Inside In In- side the tent ore are re painted banners posters and photographs of circus performers and freaks This side show tent Is la the luncheon meeting place of the P T. T Barnum Top No 1 l of the Circus Fans of ot America Each state and large city has its Tent or Top named for some famous circus man The organization Is primarily for fun yet et It has a serious purpose sa say Its members that members Is to help the circus toward bigger and better things Fans and lovers and friends of ot the circus circus circus cir cir- cus are banded together to see seo It perpetuated and are eager that greater glary may come to the tented shows If It you missed out on the juvenile Joy just mentioned mentioned mentioned men men- perhaps you used to pump a pipe organ If so your name can be spread on the roll of or orthe the Guild of ot Former Organ an nn assocIation association association tion composed of ot those who by their pledged ged statements pumped a pipe organ In a church or chapel at some time In their youth Its principal prin prIn- cipal aim Is serious serious Uto to perpetuate the memories memories memories mem mem- ories of ot our decadent but honora honorable profession and to sa save sae e for posterity some permanent evidence evidence evi I dence of ot the Important part the played In the musical and ecclesiastical progress of ot the ages It has haa other alms alms Uto to encourage the tho singing of ot the old h hymns at Sunday night gath gatherings gatherings ath- ath and to lito prove that every successful man did not earn his first dollar selling newspapers but but Its primary purpose Is to achieve a n belated recognition n. n The guild was launched In 19 1020 6 under the favorable auspices of ot a natural divinity divinity Aeolus Aeolus the Greek God and Keeper of ot the Winds and Winds and with the slogan Pump for the Wind Is Fleeting Fleet Fleet- ing The first meeting was held In New Nev York city In 1028 1923 Officers named after atter the stops on the organ were elected And the roster of ot members now holds the names of ot some of ot AmerIcas AmerIca's Americas America's Amer Amer- ica's leas foremost citizens Will Hays the Ule czar of ot the movies did his pumping on a n pipe organ In Sullivan Ind his birthplace He received recel 10 cents for his efforts and the dime was paid him at the conclusion of ot the morning church service Ice ills His mother then led him by the hand to his Sunday school class where he placed the money In the usual co col col- 1 lection James Couzens United States senator from Michigan pumped In the Presbyterian church at Chatham Ont Onto He lIe was paid 5 a n year He lIe pumped conscientiously for two years At the end of ot that time he collected the 10 he had coming cominS' and this was a n part of ot the original money he Invested In stock of ot the l Ford ord Motor company which eventually made him one of ot the nations nation's richest men The Tho late Julius Rosenwald chairman of ot the board of directors of ot Sears Scars Roebuck C Co was also a n He labored In the Presbyterian church at Springfield Ill and gladly accepted the cent 25 weekly stipend which was turned over quarterly But If It In your youth you didn't turn an nn honest honest honest hon hon- est penny by pumping an nn organ perhaps you did It in a printing office as ns a n helper to the print prInt- publisher er-publisher of ot the homo home town paper If It that was far enough back you probably pulled a n George Washington hand press a bit of ot backbreaking backbreaking back- back breaking labor necessary In the old days If It the rending newspaper public was to be kept Informed Informed informed In In- formed on the affairs of ot the community If It you rou did this then youre you're eligible for membership In Inthe Inthe inthe the Ancient and Honorable Order of ot G. G Wash Pullers a society founded at nt the suggestion of ot Harry O. O Webster an old Missouri print which carries on Its membership rolls the name of ot a number of ot men who have risen high In the field of ot Journalism and who are arc proud to say that they got their start In newspaper work at nt the lever levar of ot an old G G. G Wash Then theres there's the Cub Reporters' Reporters association composed of ot men who as ns young Journalists sought the adventure which is Js popularly supposed supposed supposed sup sup- posed to be found In newspaper work vork found It perhaps and now In the midst of ot busy middle age look back fondly upon the time when they tolled toiled under the lash of ot a Simon Legree city editor and dreamed the dream of all cub reporters re ro porters that porters that of ot scooping the world on a n big story Anyone who has hns been the victim of ot horseplay hazing kidding and razzing or even torture by bj bythe bythe the time old-time hard hard- hard boiled demon city editor Is It eligible for tor membership In the quick hangings hangIngs hang hang- Ings dough prize fighting and horrible crimes crimes' meant har hardships and toll toil for the cub reporter He lie hot footed It If around for tor news bumping Into all sorts of hard and trying C experiences In Inthe Inthe Inthe the DOs OOs barrooms were popular community centers centers centers cen cen- and crimes were jobs for reporters to solve Still I In th the field of ot Journalism there are the Fossils old Fossils old newspaper men who as ns boys engaged engaged engaged en en- In amateur Journalism and are proud ol ot their boyish efforts And although such a society has not yet been formed any man will tell you that theres there's a field for tor an organization to be known as the Association of Those Who Used Use to Be Newspaper Men ren Themselves hem Are you rou a radio er DX-er Do you ou sit up late Inte at night getting new stations over your radio either shore wave e or long wave Then you can be Initiated lInto Into the the no Royal al Order of ot Hard Boiled Owls with Rubber Ears Ear s with the Ue howling ceremonies ceremonies ceremonies cere cere- monies which mark such an nn Initiation Do you OU enjoy breaking the Ice In a river lake or pond and taking a bath there no matter what whal the weather ma may be The Polar Bear club wants to 10 hear from you ou If It you do D Do you U ever rub hay feber Ker Ker-chool 1 I The Hay Fever Feyer association will be glad to send you a membership membership membership member member- ship application blank Do you have unlimited faith In the woodchuck as an accurate weather prophet So do the members of ot the Slum Slumbering Ground Hog lodge located at Quarryville Pa Organized by George W. W Hensel Jr who Is Hibernating Governor this lodge has for Its chief f nl aim to extol the virtues of ot the groundhog which they say has an nn Intelligence intelligence intelligence in In- of ot a higher order than that of ot any other animal from the tick Uck of ot the blackberry to the elephant In the Jungle and they take tako an nn oath to defend him his family and his reputation reputation reputation tion and to guard him as he slumbers Its It's not nor easy to get Into this lodge for tor you have to be elected by the seven seyen patriarchs after seven seen years of ot observation by tho the Defender of ot the Faith the Chief Eye Rubber the Patriarch deLuxe de deLuxe deLuxe the Treasurer and other officers But nut once you are elected you can Join In tho annual ceremony on February 2 around the groundhogs groundhog's hole If It you believe that theres there's more than ono one namo name for the colored bo boys s 's who look after your comfort on the pullman cars then you should Join tho the Society for the Prevention of ot Calling Sleeping Car Porters George Organized by George Georgo W. W Dulany Jr a Chicago banker the society now has thousands of ot members all over ver the country George Washington and George Dewey are their patron saints George Ade Is the poet laureate George M. M Cohan Coban the tho official song writer i George William Cardinal Mundelein Mun tho the chaplain chap lain Georges Clemenceau was l French rench charge i and George Babe Ruth Is sergeant at arms All of the foregoing are organizations to which almost anyone might possibly belong But there thero are also others whoso whose membership is necessarily rather limited to the certain |