Show HIS RETORT 0 miss Bily tins dont be so BO cut up about it im not the first woman youve ever loved and I 1 daro dare say im not ilk likely C ly to be the lost last one mr no jno but youre the richest this funny world ta a queer q beer old world I 1 do joclare Mo clare in it content ments rarely found women want men to bo be quite square re and men want women round facts and figures tile the old adage says bays remarked the man with the quotation habit that a miss la Is ns as good ng as a mile yes rejoined the chop chap who reads the scientific items in patent medicine almanacs and with atie assistance si stance of a 40 cent parasol ashes as good its as miles the answer ons queried tile the party of the farst part simply Sh this answered the scientific student after a ray of sunshine hilia lias has traveled the distance mentioned tho the combination aforesaid a miss all and a parasol Is able to stop it seven seen feet from earth usual thing delong alello old chap I 1 hear you tire lire hunting for a rich wife your hearing Is good delong bagged anything yet elgh nothing but my trousers too much for him what killed green lie ile always looked healthy to ine inc 11 lie tried to live according to the rules for attaining longevity that a ninety cearold year old man gave to it a reporter on a sunday newspaper new paper life used to it 1 I dont understand it how 0 w those these women show such perseverance and endurance at picket duty maybo you dont son but every married man mail does the explanation where did vail scalds get all hla his money ile iia was poor as it church mouse when ewhen lie ho cattle camo to tills this town ten years ngo 11 yes lie ho was poor but not honest in an unexpected quarter do you think pence peace suggestions 1 exert any practical influence sometimes replied senator sorghum thoughtfully more thai 1 Is 18 desirable lit in the stock ni market arket 1 seeing an optimist 1 I seen you for foe a day or two paid mrs birs johnson no N 0 11 replied mrs brown 1 I havo have been busy going to nil an optimist to havo eyeglasses it fitted ANSWERS THE PURPOSE le mrs airs flatte Is your milk pasteur iced mr air Gras grassnick sneek not the milk maam but one 0 tho the cows is pas prized out in that clearen clearing tho the oth crin Is stall fed mo most insulting 11 so you proposed to miss poacher Peach pr yes yea and site she treated me ino ilko a dog indeed I 1 what did she do when I 1 hopped flopped down on my knees elio eho snapped tier queers and said bald up sirl his confession young man Is miss browning in the Ma mald idYes yes sir but she eho la is enraged engaged i young man alan oh n all right I 1 im ill lint chos engaged to TREES THAT BORE APPLES A washington man while visiting n fi londs place in fit virginia became much interestedly Interest edIn edlu ills his experiments la in fruit culture ono one day tile visitor was making tile tho rounds of the ho place being in charge of the friends young daughter of ten who acted as guide tills this treo tree seems to be loaded apples observed the washingtonian indicating a particularly fine specimen yes yea sir 11 dissented ted to tho little girl father says sais this Is a good year for apples 1 I am glad to hear that said the visitor are arc all your trees as full of apples as tills this one no sir explained tile the girl only tho the apple trees A born diplomat canvasser good morning lindam I 1 nin am introducing a polish for clenning cleaning silver it Is superior to anything now on tile lio market and tile ho price Is only 60 00 cents a box i mrs smart dont want it canvasser sorry to havo hava troubled you madam lindam but I 1 thought perhaps tile lady next door was mistaken mrs airs smart what did she bho say canvasser she said I 1 need not waste my time calling here as you had no silver mrs smart the impudent thing give me half n dozen boxes HIS CHANCE u dihel torn toni won a hat betting with papa and papa told him lie ho could have grace it hed call it square edward Is Is your father homo home tonight his colors when the au dence batted baited the speaker ile he quite patriotic grew ills face fac got rod red end and then turned white and t the he atmosphere was waa blue hard to please are arc you aware that tho the united states government spends a largo large sum every year on its weather bu bureau reaul no replied the confirmed pessimist but regardless ut of whether tho the amount Is great or small the sort of weather we e get la not worth tho money how long mother saia freddie its as ho be laid down a paper wit aig of tile the success of the french army how holy long would ft a fellow have to study to become i n F frenchman rench nian it if hohag ho had a n lot of talent youths companion knew his foo oe you tell me kobbe bobble you were in it light fight no sir sar I 1 knew licar hear about it from that boys father the kind if a boy lie ho Is life lif e following precedent where Is that run cuff I 1 had on yesterday asked tile hungry looking poet 1 I sent it to tho the laundry said tits wife gracious woman I 1 had a poem written on it I 1 oh it will come comeback back you know your poems always do yonkers statesman defining ning scandal rat father ller what hat Is scandal scandal my son Is something which people do thinking they will not gee get caught and which Is talked ab about by other people who would do the samo same thing if they were not afraid they would ge get caught judge tempora mutant mr liler her age really stir surprised me she look twenty eight does doer site bhe not now but I 1 suppose sho she did once candle hla his enjoyable trip have it ft big time on oil your trip to now new york oil oh yes I 1 invited a native new yorker to go out and seo see ills fits town and he seemed delighted with it florida blines union not qualified 1 I aw haye a desbah to conw aw go on tile the stage donsber know said tha ilia callow youth cawn cahnt you aw maho n place foh fob tile mc sorry I 1 cant oblige you yon old chap replied the theatrical manager but rin im afraid most of our scenery Is too to handle on the strict Q T iilo business are you engaged gagelin gag edIn in ut tit present 1 dix oh im it silent part partner n e r in a deaf and dumb asylum |