Show SUITORS OF I 1 D by I 1 I 1 MELISSA BELIEVES IN HOME GROWN CHARITY mrs airs was sitting bitting at her desk with the mother of pearl end ot of a pen between her teeth and her alno eyes directed to infinite remoteness w when hen her ber maternal maiden aunt jano broke in on her reflections are you yon going to give mr balm a check for tho the hindmo antt antl caste society melissa Mel lsna sho she inquired mrs laid down her pen and picked up a letter at which she milled in her most inscrutable mona lisa manner im going to give him a check yes dear she replied then she bho added dut but not for hla his Hin doos its more of a checkmate to a bro proposition post for a helpmate I 1 was engaged in declining an engagement to be more explicit nipping the idea of nuptials in other words ever since mr balm turned up I 1 have been deciding to turn him down and hes just juet called tor for a decision do you got mo me dearte de arta 9 1 11 I 6 appose I 1 understand raid paid aunt jane but I 1 must say 1 I know it sighed mrs mra you cant help belp it you are arc going to tell roe me that I 1 ought to consider it a privilege to help mr air balm to relieve the iho suffering buffering and succor the oppressed and that hes a noble high bligh minded and benevolent character its true too and likewise its too true but you see honey boney im not a hindmo nor a am in I 1 a chinese famine victim nor a solomon islander I 1 am not a resident of Kishi or whatever itis it Is and I 1 was waa never nearer a rubber plantation than the plant in uncle johns front widow on calumet avenue consequently ly I 1 expect to be ameliorated or relieved or rescued which I 1 might want to be theres no telling its all very well to sneer at worthy objects said aunt jane warmly but I 1 cant imagine anything finer than mr balms devotion to the tha cause causa of humanity when I 1 think how ho he elves up his entire time and dren being sacrificed to the sacred cotton date balo down south couth that might be saved by a little concentrated philanthropy anth ropy and the minot aurs of the sweat shops and factories are claim ing an occasional girl victim in our free und and happy land not to go any farther it if mr balm would burn and melt and got get weepy over a few thousand oppressions oppress ions and body and soul in the united states and then take OR off his simper elmoor and his frock coat and black necktie and get busy I 1 might bo be stronger for him mrs airs ids color had heightened and she bho spoke with unusual earnestness es not that id grudge a two dollar subscription now and then to the bubonic babool of bombay it I 1 thought that they needed it worse than the tenants ot of trinity church she continued but these societies of the bumpy brewed benefactors of an aliens give mo me a sensation of lassitude and when it comes to picking a husband I 1 want a man who will clean up our own back yard before he takes his muck rake and wheelbarrow over into the next block that in effect Is what im writing to mr balm auntie dear vcr well my love said bald aunt jane resignedly pray excuse mo me for interrupting you only the charity that begins at homo home usually stays there its a pretty good place for it to stay at that replied mrs airs Merri wid 1 I dont know anywhere that its more needed copyright 1912 by V W 0 chapman energy to philanthropy it seems to me that I 1 cant admire him sufficiently I 1 its awfully dear and sweet of you declared tire mrs Merri wid and I 1 want vant to shock you by intimating that mr calm balm was a benevolent boob or a sympathetic simp elmp but there aro are such persons persona dearle dearie nevertheless I 1 like to see bee a mans eyes bedimmed with a kindly dew of pity as well na as the next lady and I 1 think its IV perfectly lovely to bum with righteous indignation and melt with generous sympathy but it gives me a pain amounting to anguish when all the bedim ming and burning and melting is at long range tho the trouble with mr salm calm Is LOB hols too farsighted far sighted and he be ties bee a deplorable condition close by to save cave his swanlike swan like neck unless he looked at it through the wrong end of a telescope 1 I like people of wide sympathies remarked aunt jane id sooner see pee bem them all wool mrs retorted theres too much shoddy in these extra breadths I 1 never did haya bave a good ear for long distance calls and dearle dearie when im writhing beneath the french heel oi of a tyrannical swedish cook or groaning un under d c r the pitiless extortion of my dressmaker drets mateer and being snubbed by the tha automobile and aad winter golf caste I 1 need sympathy myself and lots of it IL it if my husband were slopping the entire stock on indigent ig orro t I 1 and homeless hottentots Hotten tots I 1 know knew id fel feel aart and want to throw things that hurt a a little worse that seems to me a very selfish point of view melissa Mell commented aunt jane 1 I 1 voul dat wonder admitted mrs Merri wid still it he had any sym pathy athy or help to spare I 1 dla die courage him from applying it to a few 0 ir orthy objects this side of indias andias oral strand there are a few call |