Show it ONE HE CONVERT A candidate tor for congress had bad been making a speech in one of the towns of his district where he was not well known personally and in the evening while waiting for fai a train he strayed into a butchers shop and without saying who ho he was waa began to pump the butcher to find out how he stood did you hear that speech this afternoon er noon he be inquired alter after some general talk yes replied the butcher 1 I was there thera what did you think of it pshaw Ps hawl said the honest butcher ive made a better speech than that a hundred times trying to sell 15 cents worth of soup bones the tha candidate concealed his identity resenting an indignity josiah Jo lah what was all that racket in the front hall about 1 1 I was kickin an agent out all what for insulting Insul tin ot of roe me how flow mandy you know an everybody knows that my motto has baa always been no north no south couth no east an no west an that chip chap knowel it as well as anybody so BO why should he yes yes josiah but how bow did he ha insult you ile wanted to know it he sell me a sectional bookcase book casel ENVY kli S A tommy my brother will has got scarlet fever bever visitor you have my sympathy I 1 suppose youre sarry airry for him tommy sorry tor for him nothing why lie he wont be able to go to school for or two months market glutted talk is rather cheap and why because you understand theres nearly always a supply the demand man with tho the moter women do not especially admire handsome men 4 that Is true replied miss cayenne As aa I 1 sat eat on an tho the piazza I 1 saw a number of good looking well dress ed youths out cut out by a man whom automobile goggles rendered entirely unprepossessing coming out now new gown ch yes I 1 got this to wear at mabels abela BI party what do you think of 0 it AI A abels labels coming out party T yes 1 I think it mabel comes out any farther than you come out ot of that gown someone will telephone tor for the police the birthday present Prea ent big tim sullivan was being congratulated by a new york reporter 0 on n the ho superb cb charity arity of annual d dinner ln to bowery men well said mr sullivan modestly 1 I confess its at least a charity that pleases its recipients its not like ilia the young womans comans birthday present to her beau A young woman having landed a young man at last thought shed give him a birthday present so she went luto lato a cigar store and said give roe me five cents worth of your sotir very bet beit cigars please high finance what do you charge tor for a glass of milk ton ten gs can I 1 go with you into tho the shed ebed and have it straight from the cow coat yes but that will be IS 16 gigs gs I 1 qute the tha reverse mrs mra goodsole liow how did you hap pen to go to the dogs everett wrest I 1 lady de aggs always come to me ma if im not not careful truly distressing charley is bewailing ila his hard luck tho the matter now he ha spent nintha ninths learning how to become an expert turkey trotter and just list about the time he became pron prod dent cleat tho the dance was pronounced passe disse the situation do you think your father would ob joel act it if I 1 called you matei mabel ile ha might ailak it a trilan odd you sed e my arst name nama la Is araud GAVE POP AWAY i new preacher well tommy we had a fine dinner it must have cost coat your papa a great deal tommy I 1 guess it did I 1 heard him tell maw that hed have to eat tree free lunch for two weeks to catch cach up even nothing to brag about there was W a man in our town who would not advertise but alnea he ha many pockets picked perhaps his course was waa wise on pelham road they were t motoring indolently through the bronx twilight had sat down upon the land the sudden roaring ot of wild beasts from the distant zoo caused the fair one one to start atari oh jackl jack she cried nestling closer where would you go it you saw a dozen lions bounding along after us it I 1 saw a dozen lions bounding along after me grinned the heartless wretch td rd go to a Sanat sanatorium orlum judge bobbyy bobbys bad break kloserman Kl Hl out eating why do you look at me so BO intently little man dobby I 1 was looking to see sea it you was waa black K X black why should you think I 1 was waa black B cause I 1 heard pa say iou you was waa awfully niggardly A real treat did you enjoy the opera i extremely tho the girl who was with me knew tho the dome domestic stio history ofed of ev ery society loader leader who wasta was there ere HE KNEW r L r willie father Is the tha captain of our ship at home and mothers the I 1 first mate maie sunday school what are youl you willie I 1 guess im the compass always boxing we me A football subject well young man ready for college yep what important subjects will you take up this fall tho the first thing la Is the matter ol at the forward pass obvious 1 I suppose mrs comeux as you aspire to our net met you have a good tarn tam lly fly line of 0 course we wa have ilow how else do you suppose wo we could hang bang out our washing retort courteous ho fie I 1 never saw such a woman youre always looking out for or something cheap she yes unfortunately that how I 1 came to marry you the material difference my friend Is a strong man ild iio has a hand of at iron in a velvet glove nothing ive got a friend with brass brasa knuckles in 4 handy bandy pocket prepared lla ite says nays anent the universe just tet let her roll ills hla lot in it life f might amigh t toe be far worse iles hes agu bought h t hla his winter coal too cruel 1 I find my luthor has been helping himself to my iri cigars gars want to give him a lesson 1 I 1 certainly would like to y lit ill give you a box of cigars cig ars my iny wife gave me put those whre wh re you usually ke keep ep our cigars cigar a 1 I merely lantto want to give lve ht m 01 les soh boh not him |