Show gig I 1 L a N R A traveler to the north having do de evered his luggage to the caro care ot of an alert railway porter proceeded to make himself comfortable in the corner of a first class clasa smoking compartment the porter having performed his bis duty camo came to the carriage to report not without expectation ot of acceptable cep table reward well said the passenger 1 I 1 see ace by the letters lettera 0 N R on your cap gratuities never received not quite that sir air replied the porter p orter touching his cap peak it might mean gratuities never refused and the way that porter smiled when he be left the carriage betokened his satisfaction at the material result of his smart answer and tho the service he had rendered scraps ho he knew the painless process the bald man had bad just come in and was visa still wearing his hat bat lie looked up from his bis desk at the thin young caller 1 I have here sir air said the latter glibly a preparation for removing superfluous hair it removes it thoroughly and painlessly yes interrupted the bald man inari wearily 1 I know the process my hair he added as he took off ob his bla hate hat was removed in the same way public sets bete the gait winks dont you think editors and reporters ought to be requested to sign their names to their articles t jinks no editors and reporters are not responsible tor for what they write who are the people who buy the papers new york weekly I 1 reversed the wise men tell us said the tha star boarder that the less we eat the longer we live yes replied the octogenarian boarder whose diet was limited to milk and oatmeal and I 1 also notice that the longer we live the leas leaa we wa eat for minor heiresses have you a copy ot at burkes peerage you could loan me 1 I believe theres an old copy kicking around what do you want with it itt just a little scheme im thinking of compiling a mall mail order catalog of baigas n dukes s w v WHERE BEAUTY COUNTS FHIL JOYCE e good looks dont amount to any thing hang after all they dont well lust just come round to 0 or oi boardinghouse boarding house the place lace where the fellow with side whiskers gets the biggest piece of pie ile wooden courtship 1 I 1 pine tor foi you the young man cried she took him unawares spruce cupl up spruce up ere papa comes lies lum lumbering berine up the stal st alra rel the Im immortal sherlock any clew only a broken window shutter said dr watson what do you make of f that sherlock 1 I cant say yet answered the great detective ile he may have left it as a blind A warning so gazzam died suddenly was waa it the beat well incidentally what do you mean by incidentally lle he kept asking people it II it was hot enough tor for them driven to it johnny positively refuses to wash ns bs cars then wo we must resort to ber heroic beri I measures drop a postal for one ac ot these cheso vacuum cleaning wagons to call perfectly harmless Harm leia A poet writing or of his lost love says 1 1 I mas kiss your meni memory nry I 1 think there ther would be much danger dancer from germs in doing that A complete change you need a mental rest stop dis bussing cussing pennant prospects 1 dut but doctor no argument areu now talk golf coif for instead or of baseball drastic CrUl clim of today now hov ho v did you like the ho great thero there i a bad film to la i the buffoli buff cli SONG OF THE FOOL KILLER the said bald aid ho he I 1 ride on the auto f tree ee when the risks risk are rash rah and they scorch and smash alight there on the job ill bet the fool killer said laid said ald he ht 1 I swim in the take lake or see ee when the tha wight beyond his hi depth has haa fared I 1 follow upon hla his lee joe the fool killer said bald said raid he 1 I bend to the oar with glee glea when the boat in 1 rocked and tha th e world lo in shocked IIla I 1 loften teft t to 0 no ones plea 11 the fool killer said bald said ald he somo some fly by without tight sight ot of ml mi drat the pesky thinas im afraid of wings wines and tha f the truth breef our own minstrels montrel wot am de dif tunce allstar wal kah tween graft im fm a nn an de do de vm tm a guv nent bondy bond 1 I dont know sam what IS 13 the difference between collecting gratt graft from a diro keeper and detaching the coupons from a government bond D one am a tariff fur perfection an do de am a tear off fur revinue only ladles and gentlemen the brass lunged basso big emitz de growells will all now sing a selection entitled you smoke em george and yet you live how REAL TALENT Z t I 1 Z Z r 0 00 11 0 old gentleman so hes y your ur city brother eh ile he seems to bo be h bright little chap the kid proudly bright you vm bet he be Is at cuss for fer de gent jimmy the kind the flypaper lay on the table where all could plainly see could it speak atwould probably pro babli nay may there are ara no lies files on ne me which Is 1 different the editor was trying to placate an indignant statesman all we said about you in the paper mr Kra kajak he assured him was that you seemed to have an ail inadequate sense ot of proportion not by a blamed roared the caller what you said about me was waa that I 1 seemed to have hare an inadequate proportion of down to facts fact did you exer ever get a diamond ring at the seashore dont make me laugh dut but ill tell tel you what did happen what A follow fellow I 1 was engaged to once bought bough tine me an ice cream soda A doubtful scheme gyer an english scientist proposes to do away with those london togs toga myar how flow to la he going to do it itt gyer dy by erecting skyscrapers ap al over the city politically 41 W if I 1 ar C 0 41 I 1 tell you that a fellow who wants to get along these days day have bare some push about him 1 I know a good many that are doing so co because they have bavo a 11 pull he ha was wa it when men bou bought a golden briest ills his heart was waa ved ad with alth rage uy my brasol sald bei he 1 I tura sure bail reached what caleb a green old aga not for them why are the end ead sea waves moan ing on the shore chore probably because MY realize tha they will never aver set get any closer than they are nt at the present moment to tc that girt girl in ft a awell bathing sult ault amusement note anything entertaining bo booked doted lo in the tha city for the fail faett oh yes yea the tha successful doramai I 1 which have made a ait ail this seas lo lie new york rind chicago i new cw vaudeville acts and the downif trial |