Show SURE THING john said cald mrs Dorb Dorkin lna it well stop reading your paper just a moment all right what la Is it marla maria before lle fore you come home this afternoon I 1 wont want you to go to some store and set get me a dozen thumb tacks think you can remember that certainly it if theres more tho one size listen now I 1 want the larger ones you wont forget no late that afternoon mr dorkins dorking remembered he rustled rushed over to the nearest do apartment part ment store 1 I wish tell me he said to the floorwalker floor walker where you kiep keep your er thumbscrews thumb thumbs screws ereva chamber of horrors top near floor northwest corner said the floor walte or er pushing him in the direction of the elevator mrs brownings sonnet they say mrs browning showed her husband with much diffidence the sonnets she had bad written in celebration df at her love sonnets from the port agnese she called them incorporating in the title a love namo name he be bad for her for he termed her the port aguece because of her dark skin and eyes ayes faulty it maya may be confessed these sonnets lonneta are hardly finished here cere and there one might be tempted to say but they aro are as aa spontaneous as the long of morning birds as essentially true as aa the word we speak at unexpected meeting ella elia W beattle Pe attle in Flar harpers piers dazar bazar A vani vandal declaration 11 1 dont think ill ever go to europe again said the patient looking man dont you enjoy the magnificent art galleries oh ob yes dut but I 1 got get tired of curios and antiques and things those oil paintings they talk about so much of 0 course hand work and all that but a good man with a moving picture machine nowadays could clean up twice as much vor work kand and make it three times as aa interesting 11 origin ot of the bath towel A towel manufacturer found that his machinery was not working right and that his towels were su buffering Cering a vast tingling tangling of the th threads roads while adjusting the machine he be used one of tho the damaged towels to dry his hands bands tie he found it pleasingly absorbent and r from axom the idea to which that gave rise was born bom the bath towel and a fortune to the patentee PERTINENT QUESTION v s a mrs mra henrex oh job did I 1 tell you mr stillman Is going to marry my sister bister maria no have you and your stater lister told mr stillman stallman yett yet the homeward way the rhe curfew tolls toll the knell of day the shopper holds hold ft a bundles on her knee she keeps six alx lx more benido her all the way and leaves a irreasa looking strap for we no chance for townley says havo to lo count him out of the theater party EH the matter hes to hoarse he cant speak tell him to come anyway you can pair him oll off with the gabber girl she wont give hini him a chance to say a word next but not proximate tho the daintiest daintie st and most particular customer I 1 have said the manicure boarder Is a well known gambler ive always heard beard 1 remarked the contemplative boarder after a long pause that cleanliness la Is next to godliness but sometimes its a very bad second what ho he orew draw did your uncle leave you anything in hla his will only a new responsibility what do you mean ile ha left me an equity in a house tie ha was buying on the installment plan and ive g got ot to pay 30 a month for twenty years to win holds the record old hunks is the meanest man in 1 the community what has he beer beep doing noral got his cla wit wife e out oat of the couo i of buying a fashionable muff by tuning her heir that muffs are arc made larger than they need to be because women bans aro are growing bagga 0 ON N thedr SLENDER INCOME on his way homeward from the chov where he be tolled at hla his dally vocation mr ger carrying into effect t a stern and sinister purpose ha h had cherished for months montha stopped at a barber shop and had a portion of hla his beard ro removed moved halt an tour hour later ho he entered the humble dwelling which in bristling defiance of newspaper style cards he called his bis home mrs lira was sitting in an easy aay chair and auzins pensively at the fire alra that burned cheerfully but ally in the grate lobellia Lob ellla my dear he said look at me 1 she arose to her feet and looked at him then she sank back bach into the easy chair during the 20 years of their married life as it may bo be necessary to explain sinking making into chairs had been one of mrs Mc Swats leading specialities billiger she gasped we never c can an live up to that pair of 0 side ehla kers A FATAL CASE 4 7 mrs Gos gussippe Gossl sippe ppe la Is it true that your late ale husband was very absentminded absent minded T mrs deedes yes yea it caused his bis death lie went to sleep and forgot to wake apt the tha dubious sort to fads and tasa fads theres luat just no end out but the man with scads neer lacks lack a friend 1 the eyes and the nose it was pats first attendance at a meeting when the chairman announced as the result of a yoto vote that there were 42 noes to 21 ayes pat began to th fidget in his bis sent seat and then thea got up and started tor for the platform sit down theral yelled the chairman no be gorral said pat not until I 1 look this audience in the face I 1 wan wank t to see them humans what has more noses tb than an eyes judges library put out of the pale the latest circulation scheme of a berlin newspaper Is the enga engagement gemeni of 0 two physicians to attend gratuitously upon their yearly subscribers an annual subscription carries with it the free services of ono one of these two doctors A few months montha ago the paper telephoned to one of the staff physicians dont attend herr mueller any more ills hla subscription has expired and he beat it 1 I will give you your dinner it beat those rugs said the woman with the gingham apron at the back door ah madam replied the wanderer his bis hat bat in his hand those rugs aro are really and truly beautiful exquisite I 1 dont think they possibly could bo be beatt EVENED MATTERS UP r iw assistant this quarter that gar gave you Is bad the fortune teller ashes got nothing on an me at that the fortune forture I 1 told her was bad too life would be glorious Gl orlou A man would have no loo time to eat much lcara less to be ba a finx r 1 if I every peach he ch chanc a nc L z to met meet should prova to be ba a c I 1 inger wanted protection in granting your wife her petition tor for a divorce said eald the judge sternly 1 I am also going to prohibit you from marrying again within two years make it fifteen year judge please said the lae man maybe bythan by that time ill got get cut of the habit ot of taking chances chan cea |