Show KA KATHLEEN NORRIS Widows Widow's Marriage Fools Fool's Project er T AM 38 36 widowed and with three 1 children girls 12 and 7 and anda a boy of 10 My 12 years of mar ried led life were ideal Gene left me comfortable and the children are fine specimens My mother died five months month ago and since then I have been bitterly lonely I am writing to ask your advice about marrying again I wouldn't be asking your advice advice ad ad- vice continues this very odd letter better let bet ter from a Texas woman if It 11 I knew whom to marry But I dont don't This town has no interesting free tree freemen freemen men in it I have played about occasionally occasionally occasionally oc oc- with men I wouldn't or couldn't marry and have found no satisfaction In in nightclubs dancing dane dane- ing and shallow relationships of that tha t sort Do you know and can you put me in touch with two or three men anxious to marry a handsome well well- fixed woman who loves a good time keeps a comfortable house and needs a sympathetic companion And Dot Dot to call her that goes goeson goeson on with a list of ot the qualifications she would expect in her ber new mate He must be 40 he must have exceptional exceptional ex ex- references and he must like Uke a good time Selfish Inexperienced It is II incredible to me that a woman so placed could be as completely com com- completely inexperienced and childishly childish childish- ly selfish as Dot reveals herself herselt to be in this letter I answered her personally and at once but I haven't much hope that my very forceful warning will have any effect My reason reason for quoting her letter and her problem lies In the rather pitiful fact that every year thousands thousands thou thou- sands of women deceive themselves with the fond thought that a second marriage will wUl give them the happiness hap the dear companionship i r fi arm rm t jV H. H I 11 bv played boas about P that death has taken away They will not recognize the simple truth that one happy marriage is fl more than the normal allowance that their memory of Tom and his tenderness tenderness ten ten- has been softened and exaggerated by time and that their chances chance of finding a real mate matein in this sort lort of at a risk are not one ina in ina ina a thousand Loneliness and vanity and hope rise triumphant over all aU arguments and every year we wa can canall aU all count among our friends friend the widows widow who want to try again In all aU this thI their children are the first victims vIctim Mother has hll told them sweetly pleadingly that they must mut be nice to Uncle Untie Dick who is i. going I to come live Uve with them and take Daddys Daddy's place And for awhile abUe how Jolly Uncle Dick is with young Stan how pleasantly he be teases tease Carol and spoils Baby Daby Sally SeUy Jealousy Enters Eaters But inevitably his hi newly married Jealousy b b. b begins e g e t In a s to complicate everything and the tha children are aretha the tha first to tool feel it It Mother is torn tom between Dicks Dick's dunand demand that she go co with him on a three three day ay trip and the tha claims claim of the feverish bewildered be sick Ick child upstairs Dick Dick- Dicksa sa says Impatiently that kids kid dont die of upset stomachs and Mother agrees with him But she doesn't go 10 olt olf In an any very gay splits spirits Just the tha same ame The delicate attentions the tha com corn compliments the tha murmured intoxicating tiC lag promises all aU have bave faded out of Mothers Mother's lother Ufa We now she is a bar raised overworked woman with claims clam pouring in on every side side- claims claim that she he simply cant can't meet She Sha loves Jov Dick but she he didn't ex in marrying him to have bava to give he up all aU other loves love completely This is the most promising view But very often otten the picture is far darker than this Dick wants to help belp handle the business of his bride He knows of ot investments that will double that comfortable Income of ot hers She mustn't be afraid women are all aU too timid she can make herself herselt a very rich woman What can Mother say I married you Dick but I have no faith in your Judgment So she goes to the bank with Dick and Dick takes her to a champagne l lunch och and assures her she has shown good Judgment And that many times is the end of ot her ber money and often the childrens children's money too Letters arent aren't often otten as childish as the one I quoted in the begirt begirt- ning of this article but all aU women have a way of ot bringing arguments into line when they plan plEin the deep injustice to their children that a second marriage almost always In In- And if It this is the case in what Mrs Wiggs called a sod widow it is doubly the case when it is a grass widow who is i. concerned Then childrens children's delicate nervous system may be actually destroyed by the palpable efforts of Mother to show that he does love them Only she has to love Uncle Dick too and Uncle Dick isn't always always- quite well quite well you see darlings The darlings dont don't see anything but one complicated racking nerve mistake piled on another for the excellent reason that that is what the situation becomes With no children chil cht dren or with motherless children needing her or perhaps with one grown child the experiment often otten Is a success But with girls of 12 and 7 and a boy of ot 10 well 10 well no sensible woman need go out of ot herway herway her herway way to invite that sort of ot trouble Into her home |