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Show Not So Satisfied A QUAKER put up a sign on a vacant piece of ground next to his house: "I will give this lot to anyone who is really satisfied." A wealthy farmer, as he rode by, read it. Stopping, he said, "Since my Quaker friend is going to give that piece away, I may as well have it as anyone else. I am rich. I have all I need, so I am able, to qualify." He went up to the door. "And is thee really satisfied?" asked the Quaker. "I have all I need and am well satisfied." "Friend," said the other, "if thee is satisfied, what does thee want with my lot?" FRAGILE STUFF A woman was mailing the old family Bible to her brother In a distant city. The postal clerk examined ex-amined the heavy package carefully care-fully and inquired If It contained anything; breakable, "Nothing but the Ten Commandments," was the quick reply. High Speed An excited woman threw a faded apron on the counter in a shop. "Look at this!" she cried. "Look at it!" "I'm looking at it," said the assistant. as-sistant. "What about it?" "What about it?" shouted the woman. "Why, when you sold me that apron you said its color was fast. And look what happened. The color came out at the first washing!" wash-ing!" "Well," answered the girl, looking look-ing somewhat surprised, "wasn't that fast enough?" MODERN FOOD "Mister, how do you account for the fact that I found a piece of rubber rub-ber tire in one of the sausages I bought here last week?" "My dear madam, that only goes to show that the automobile is replacing re-placing the horse everywhere." Prepared Mike met his friend Joe, who was sporting three hats, one on top of another. "What's the idea?" demanded Mike. "I've decided to become a politician," politi-cian," replied Joe. "What are you wearing three hats for?" "A politician has one hat to cover his head, another he tosses into the ring, and one hat he talks through." They Catch 'Em A former serviceman, after long and futile searching for more adequate ade-quate shelter, decided to bu;- one of these cracker-box houses he'd be able to finance with the help of a G.I. loan. Telephoning his wife the news, he said: "Frankly, I don't know how long it's going to stand up, but there's one thing about it: I've found the guy who knew how to build a better bet-ter mousetrap!" SNAPPY SERVICE Bill My insurance company is so fast that a man got his check half an hour after his accident Phil That's nothing. My company is so fast that a man who fell off a 10-story building had his check handed to him 83 he passed, the third floor! Making a Job A young fellow called at the big business house to apply for a Job that he had seen advertised. "But my dear man," said the manager, "you are much too latel Why I've had over a thousand applications appli-cations already!" "Well." he said, after a while, "how about employing me to classify clas-sify the applications?" |