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Show t b ISEEhW s u HEARD I - O A MAIN STREET STRUT STRUTn STREETDefinition n + - i . .r r .ri .rw .ry w J > y * DefInitIonOLD DefinitionOLD Definition OLD TIMER-The TIMER The TIMER - The fellow who whowould whowould whi would be feeling feelmg swell if the thedoctor thedoctor thidoctor doctor hadn t learned to meas measure measLire ure Lire blood pressure pressure0 pressureo -0- 0 ---o-- o - 0That - - - oThat - - \ ThatcIty That city ordinance for forbIddIng forbidding forbiddine bIddIng docs dogs to run at large largedurmg largeduring largedunnc durmg during the gardening gardenIDg sea season Season season son is 15 all right for the theneIghbor theneighbor theneichbors neIghbor 5 s dor dog Ours never neverharmed neverharmed harmed a yard or garden gardenIt garden0 garden0 -0- 0 - 0It - 0It - It seems entirely appropnatesays appropriatesays appropriate appropnate says Dad Gummit that the cafe cafeserves cafeserves cafiserves serves horse meat a ) la a carte0 carteo carte carteTHE -0- 0 --o- o - 0THE - - oTHE - THE 1\IORON 1 IORON MORON \ MORONA 1IORONA A moi'on moion moton moron ' walked over to thibox the thebox thebox box office of a theater , bought boughta bougha a a ticket , and went in A few mmutes mID min mIDutes minrites utes rites later he returned , bought boughtanother boughtanother boughanother another ticket and went inside insideIThree insideThree IThree Three times the same thine thIDg thing hap haplpened happened happened pened By Bq the fourth time the thegIrl thegirl thi lpened gul gIrl at the box office was corn com completely cornpletely pletely perplexed and asked askedWhy ' Why do you keep buying buymg ' tIckets tickets tick ets to g'0 g0 go ' into mto the theater theater9 theater91 * ' I ' IIt 'Its Its It s not my fault , " replIed replIedthe repliedthe the moron , * ' they keep teanng tearing teanngthem tearingthem teann ; them up every time I go insideo mSlde0 inside mSlde ' : -0- 0 --o- o - 0NotIce - - oNotice - Notice in m Maryland paper paperIf paperIf I If persons who drove away awaywIth awaywith awa : with a police scout car in m Mary Maryland Maryland Maryland ' land will return the vehicle they theymay theymay the ; may keep the sergeant sergeantThe sergeant0 sergeant0 -0- 0 -0-- - - 0The 0The - - The Farmer of Tomorrow Tomorrow Tomor Tomorrow row , says x a note from Wash Washmgton Washington ington mgton , DC D C , will be a compOSlte cornpolite corn com cornposite posite pOSlte polite of chemist chermst , economIst economist econo economist mist , accountant and dl di dietician : etician etlclan In other words , adruggIst adruggist a adruggist druggIst.0 druggist . -.0-- .0 - . ; If there were more enginesand engmes engine engmesand engineand s and fewer cabooses says Dad DadGumrmt DadGummit DadGummit Gumrmt Gummit there would be a lotmore lot lotmore lotmore more progress0 progresso progress progressThe -0- 0 -o- o - 0The - oThe - The lady of the house walked walkedmto walkedinto walkedinto mto into the kitchen quite unexpect unexpectedly unexpectedly unexpectediy edly and found the cook sittingin slttmgm slttmg sitting m in the butlers butler slap slapIs s lap lapIs lapIs Is this what I pay you for for7she ? ' she stormed No stormedNo madam * ' said the cook cookI I do this for nothmg0 nothing0 nothing nothmg nothingGoenn -0- 0 - 0Goermg -0 0 - - Goermg Goering Goenn ? says a Berlin Berl10 dIS dISpatch dispatch dispatcli patch may be seen any time athis at athIS athis hIS villa watching watch10g the skies Hecertimly He lie Hecerhmly liecertunly cerhmly certunly must be a brave sightwith sIght sIghtwIth sightwith wIth all his chins chms upo up upWhen up.0 -.0-- .0 -o-- o - . .0When - oWhen - - When Mrs Gummit Gummlt saw her herfIrst herfirst herfirst fIrst gray hair she felt she hadnothing had hadnothmg hadnothing nothmg nothing more to live hve for , so she shedyed shedyed shedyed shedyedThe dyed dyed0 dyedo -0- 0 -o- o - - 0The oThe - The commander of the theSecurity theSecurity theSecurity Security Police at Wilno WilnoPoland WilnoPoland WiinoPoland Poland was reported to tohave tohave tohave have died a natural death deathAn deathAn deathAn An exhaustive mvestIgatIon investigation investigationwas mvestIgatIonwas was begun at once0 once onceDefinition -0- 0 - 0Def1Oltion 0Definition - Definition Def1Oltion Def1OltionAMERICA DefinitionAMERICA DefinitionAMERICA AMERICA The Land of ofPromise ofPromise I IPromise Promise - except every four fouryears fouryears fouryears years when plural0 it is pluralI pluralThe plural I -0- 0 - 0I o I The Yankee second lIeutenant lIeutenantbowmg lieutenantbowing ' bowmg bowing low before the savagechief savage savagechIef savagechief chIef on a South Pacific islandafter Island Islandafter islandafter after invasion mvaSIOn said I come to toyou toyou toyou you from beyond the sunset sunsetfrom sunsetfrom sunsetfrom from the Great White Kmg- Kmg KmgTell KmgTell King - Tell me interrupted mterrupted the thechief thechief thechief chief why don t you guys do dosomethmg dosomething dosomething somethmg something about the rotten radIo radIoprograms radioprograms ) programs you send over here7 here here7The here0 ? ' -0- 0 - 0The - The young ' couple were mar marrled marTied marned rled Tied and photographs were tak takcn taken taken cn en as the pair left the church churchThe churchThe churchThe The photographer promised to tosend tosend tosend send proofs in 10 a few days Fmal Final Finally Final1 Fmall l ly } a large envelope cnvelope arrived and andwas andwas andwas was opened with much excitement excIte excItement excitement ment Inside were several stud studIes studes studies Ies es of a nude infant mfant with tlie the ac accompanY1Og aciompanying accompanyine companY1Og iompanying noteI note I ' Please state stateclearly stateelearly stateclearly clearly elearly what size you wantnd want \nd nd Ind Indhow ' \ "indhow indhow " ndhow how many " |