OCR Text |
Show cEENo cEENoHEARD SEEN $ EEN hQ HEARD HEARDMAIN HEARD liaRD - O e > " A - MAIN STREETYp STREET STDEET Yp P Pi Pu = @ - . . . . . I . i u DefinitionWIDOW DefinitionWIDOW Definition DefinitionWIDOW WIDOW A woman " who "ho ho no nolonger nolonger nolonger longer finds fault faultJ00 fault000 -J00- J00 -000- 000 J00Grandpa - { - 000Grandpa oOo oOoGrandpa - - Grandpa slept in his underwearand underwear underwearand underweaand and ateith ate with \\ith ith \ his knife Also AlsoGrandpa AlsoGrandpa AlaGrandpa Grandpa pud p\1d p 1d ' \ his debts Queel Queer old oldcodger oldcodger ol olcodger < codger was "as as " GrandpaJ00 Grandpaa0o Grandpa -J00- J00 -a0o- a0o J00Every - { - a0oEvery oOo oOoEvery - - Every question says Dad Gum Gummlt Gummit Gummit mlt mit usually has two sides Bnd and Bndno andno andno no bottomI bottomJ00 bottom00o bottom -J00- J00 -00o- 00o J00A - { - 00oA oOo oOoA - - I A fellow who can cant t understand understandthing a athmg athmg thmg can alwavs al\\as al as always \ ) sneer weer at It 1t sayDad say says saysDad ! > , Dad Gummltn0o Gummit Gummlt 100- 100 -n0o- n0o 100Which - < - n0oWhich oOo oOoWhich - - Which is 15 the worst - the theenemy theenemy theenemy enemy with the worst of 1D in 1Dtenbons intentrons intentions tenbons tentrons , , , or the friend with wllh the thebest thebest thebcsf best best000 ? " -000- 000 - 000A oOo- oOo oOoA oOo oOoA - - A ) voung oung young lady was on a sight sightseeing sightseeing sightseeing seeing tour in Detroit Going Gomg out outJefferson outJefferson outJefferson Jefferson Avenue the driver of the thebus thebus thbus bus called out places 'Places ' of interestOn mterestOn interest mterest interestOn On the right he announced announcedwe , , we have the tlJe Dodge homeJohn home homeJohn homeJohn John Dodge ? the lady inquired inquiredNo inquiredNo inquiredNo No HOlace Horace Hoi ace Dodge DodgeContmumg DodgeCntinumg DodgeContinuing Contmumg Cntinumg out JeffersonOn JeffersonOn Jefferson JeffersonOn On the rIghte right \ we \\e e se have the FOld Ford FOldhome Fordhome Foldhome FoldhomeHenry home homeHenry Henry Ford FordNo ? No Edsel Ford FordStill FordStill FordStill Still faither farther out Jefferson JeffersonOn JeffersonOn JeffersonOn On the left . we v.e ve have ChrIst ChrIstChUich ChristChuich Chris'Chuich ChrisChuich Chris'ChuichA ' ChUich ChUichA A fellow passenger hearing hearmg noresponse no noresponse n'response nresponse ' response from the soung young } oung vsornan vsornantapp \ womantapp oman omantapp tapp d her on the shoulder andsaid and andI andsaid andsaid said Go ahead Lady you can cant cantbe cantbe t tbe I be " wrong "Tong Tong ALL the tImeJ00 time00o time -J00- J00 -00o- 00o J00A - ( - 00oA oOo oOoA - - A mins m'll1s mll1s mans ' good look looks arc are spoiled spoiledhen spoiledwhen spoilei'when spoileiwhen ' \\hen hen when \ he sneers sivs S'lS SlS says ' ) aoman a \\oman oman woman womanwntr \ vvornaiwriter wntr \ nkr , especially especlall ) it If he sneersat sneerat sneers sneersat at a bigger mw mar Jn r rOc marcOc -Oc- Oc -cOc- cOc - < - cOcIt oOc OcIt - I OcI | It may be a fine thing thmg to be a agentleman agentleman agentleman ' gentleman but an awful a\\ful a ful anful \ hmd2CBP handicap hmd2CBPwhen handicapwhen handicapwhen : ' hmd2CBPI when jOU you you get into mto an argument argument00o ar argument & = ent entJOo I -JOo- JOo -00o- 00o JOoOscar - { - 00oOscar oOo oOoOscar - Oscar Hassenpfeffer Ha.csenpfeffer Hacsenpfeffer . knew it was washis ' \ wa"his wahis as asIhls " his son rather than h151fe his h15 \ wife \\1fe 1fe 1feho \\ho ho who whotad \ whilad ho1ad Ihls 1ad tad taken the money from h1S his h1SI h1Strouser histrousers hitrousers trouser trousers s pocket Jocket ; There \ was as some someleft someleft sonleft ) I left leftJOo left00o -JOo- JOo -00o- 00o JOoCharles - { - 00oCharles oOo oOoCharles - Charles Pa " whats sshats hat s the differ difference differonce difference ence once between bet\\een bet een \ sitting slttmg up and slttmg sitting slttmgdon sittingdo sittingdovn9 sittingdovn9Pa do\n do n do \ ; n ? ' Pa Well my boyhen boy \ when \\hen hen then some somebOdy somebody somebody bOdy 1 is < ; standing standmg up and he seats seatshimself seatshimself seathimself himself he sits do dovn do11 dove \11 11 \ ' andhen and \\hen hen when whenhe \ whelhe henhe he doesn doesnt t go to bed and sits do dosnhe doyn dosn doynhe , n nhe he sits upCharles upCharles up Charles But Pa if of he sits how ho\\ ho hocan howcan \ can he SitIthout sit \ without \\Ithout Ithout sitting slttmg do\n do n down downAnd , \ ? ? And if he sits down do\\n do n doan \ how can he hesit hesit sit helsit up ? hel Pa Well you } vou OU see if he sitsdown Sitsdown sits down \ why hy he-I he I he - - I mean if he sitsupoh Sitsupoh sits sitsup up-oh up oh up--oh up - - - oh go to sour your } our mother anddon anddon and don dont t ask me questions queshom question w " when hen I Imbusy"I ImbusyI mbusy m m'busy 'busy busy 'busyJ00 busy busyoOo " ' - -J00- J00 -oOo- oOo J00Dmer - { oOoDiner oOo - - . Diner Dmer Are there any vitaminsin vltammsm vitaminin vltamms vitamin J00I I m in tms this soup ' ' ? Waitress I hardly think so sosir sosir sosir sir you seee see ' \ ne \\e e we have a man come comem comeery comeni comein soI I m ni dellalound derlaround "very very "sery sery " \ery ery \ night and sprinkle sprmkle po pa podell paderl povdeiaiound \dell dell \derl derl \ alound around to kill klU them themDeCnitioii -J00- J00 -00o- 00o themJ00 them00o 00oDef themI J00Defmhon - { - - - I DefmhonFASHIONABLE Def DeCnitioii Defmhon ndiou ndiouFASHIONABLE FASHIONABLE . PARTY .PARTY Whennobody When Whennobody , nobody gets then them unul until even evertibody everybodyis evertibodyu WhenI body I ' 15 u there00o there000 there -000- 000 -00o- 00o 000Great - - 00oGreat oOo oOoGreat - - Greatealth Great wealth \\ealth ealth ' \ says sllYs Dad Gummlt Gummrt GummltI Gummltma Gummrtma Gummitmay ) I ] ma may } not insure happiness haJpmess ; but itsa Its ' a great help in m ire choosing ChOo.sl11g ChOosl11g . a moreagreeable more morelagreeable agreeable kind of ml"er000 mi"ery miery mi"ery00o misery ml"er mler " ) morel 000DcfmtlOn -000- 000 -00o- 00o - - 00oDef oOo-Dcrnition oOo Dcrnition - Def DcfmtlOn DcfmtlOnGOLF ration rationGOLF ttelo ttels GOLF A game that has run ttel the theovs treovs o ovs \s s \ out of the pasture and let letthe letthe letthe the bull m000 incOa in m I 000I , ' mI -000- 000 000When -cOa cOa - - cOaWhen oOo oOoWhen - I When the cafe 0 ovners osnors \ ner s dog step step.ped . pedm in a rat trap yelped and tip I ped over a table of sih silsera silverwarethree er\\ er erare \ are arethree arethree three " waiters "aiters aiters got excited dro"ped droped dropped dro"pedtheir droppedtheir droppedtheir " their travs tras trays ) in rapid succession andtao and andtwo ! t\\ t t0 tao \ 0 couples got up to dance think thinkmg thinkmg I Img mg the \ whole hole thing \ was \ as the start startof startof startI I of a new da dance tune000 tune e eI -000- 000 - 000Judge oOo ot - Judge I r fine you $110 110 S110 Sl $ 10 for b at ating attog ating I ing tog your wifeDefendant \ wife wifeDefendant Ife IfeDefendant theldollal Defendant I don dont dent t mind the thedoilal thel thedollai dollal doilal but wI1\t wI1 t whits whets ' \ s the 10 cents for ' ? " Judge Federal airusement arrusement amusement tax000 tax000 tax --000- 000 -000- - 000You 000You - oOo - You don dont t seemery seem seers \ very \ery ery en enthus enthusia enthusla'tic enthuslatic thus thusla la ia ' < hc trc professor about m } daugh daughter daughters daughters ters ter s chances of becoming a smger singer singerSuiely smgerSUI singerSuiely SUI Suiely ely she has eomm eommposstbil " som "om om * possibil possibll posstbil tiesVeil tiesVeil ties tiesVeil Veil yah ) v ah she s got a mouthJOe mouth00o mouth -JOe- JOe -00o- 00o - { - 00oI oOo-1 oOo 1 - - - I t i 1 ndeistand ndelstand nderstand Bill stud ed mechanical me meI I chamcal chanical engineering engmeermg Whats hedomg hedoing he doing domg no nov nos \ ' ? "He He ftHe 'He " ' is " working "orkmg orkmg on the railroad railroadThat railroadThat railroadThat That so ? What domg doing doing'Well doingWell ' ' ? railroadI I WeIl Well you } vou OU know the man110 man \\110 110 wbo wbogoes \ whogoe \ 110goe goe goes ? : ; around the cars and taps all allthe I the \ wheels heels to make sure everything everythingis IS all rightYes rightYesWell nght right ? I Yes YesI YesWell Well B Bll II Il helps thit th'lt thlt that ' m'1.n m1.n m1n m'1.nI mane mmIsten ' . I I 1 sten |