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Show 6y 6yD D 6yI I PhiYhop PhiYhopvnu vnu s.i- s.i s.iSTILL . . - STILL SQUAWKINGElmer SQUAWKINGElmer SQUAWKING SQUAWKINGElmer Elmer Twitchell says that when whenhe whenhe whenhe he asked the OCD for some data on ongas ongas ongas gas masks the other day he got auto auto- autographed autographed autographed - - graphed photos of ol two movie stars starsand starsand starsand and that his request rcquest for tor some dope dopeon dopeon dopeon on air raid shelters sheltcrs brought him a apamphlet apamphlet apamphlet pamphlet on the care of baby babysteeth II s IIteeth steeth teeth ft . ft . ft . ftLeon Leon Henderson has put a cellmg ceiling ceilingon cellmgon on canned fruits lrwts and vegetables fneluding In fn InI Ineludmg ineluding I eludmg eluding fruit lruit cocktails corn peas peasspinach peasspinach , spmach spinach sauerkraut and tomatojuice tomato tomatoJUIce toroatojuice proI JUIce This Tlus just lust about throws a pro protective protective I tective covering covermg around the tYPlca typical typicalAmerican typicalAmerican ] Amencan American dinner dmner these daysI days I . . . Prevent the average house house- housewUe housewife housewife - - wife wUe from Irom getting those thmg things thingsand thingsand " and canned frankfurters and the thehusbands thehusbands thehusbands husbands of America Amenca would wouldstarve wouldstarve wouldstarve starve to death . ft . . ft . ftAlphabetical Alphabetical Story of America In In1917A In1917A in1917 1917-A 1917 A - A E F P1919 1919 to 199-F 199 F 19'9-F 19'9 199 ? ' ' ' - F 0 B B1929 1929 to 1930-8 1930 8 1930-S S 1930 - - S 0 S S1931P S1931P S1931 1931-P 1931 P - P D Q Q1932F Q1932F Q1933 1932-F 1932 F - - F D R1933WPA R1933WPA R 1933-WPA 1933 WPA 1933 - - WPA HOLC nOLO and FDA FAA FDA193tSEO FAA1934SEC FHA1931-SEC FHA1931 SEC 193t-SEO 193t SEO 1934-SEC 1934 SEC - - 193tSEO1935NLRB 1934SEC1935NLRB 1935-NLRB 1935 NLRB 1935 - - NLRB 1935NLRB1936CCC 1936-CCC 1936 CCC 1936CCCI 1936 - - CCC 1937 to 1939- 1939 1939See 1939-See 1939 See 1939 - - ( See 193 1932 1932through 1932through I through 1936)I 1936)19400h 1936)1940Ohl 1936) 1936 ) 1940-0h 1940 0h 1940-Ohl Ohl 1940 - - Oh ' Oh Ohl1941J Oh Oht Ohl ! I 1941-J 1941 J 1941 - J A PI P1942OCD P - 1942-OCD 1942 OCD 1942 - - OCD I- I I1942OCD OCDft ft . ft . ft . QUESTION IN A CRISISHave CRISISHave CRISIS Have we been fed on pap too manyyears manyyears many manyyears7Have years years7Have ? ' Have we seen life We as someth somethng somethngon ng ngon ngon on a screen screenHave ? ' Have platitudes and boastmgsstuffed boastingsstuffed boastings boastmgs boastingsstuffed stuffed our ears earsTo earsTo earsTo To all the lessons our tradItIOns tradItIOnsmean traditionsmean traditionsmean7 traditionsmean7Have mean ? ' Have we put all aU our faith In microphones microphones micro microphonesAnd phones phonesAnd phonesAnd phonesAnd And only I 1 ked our music sweetand sweetand sweet sweetand and soft ? Have we insisted on the softest tones tonesAnd tonesAnd tonesAnd I IHave And murmured Don t disturb disturbplease disturbplease disturbplease please ' ' once too oft off offHave ? ' Have we put speeches Jpeeches ; and finepledges finepledges fine finepledges pledges tlrst- tlrst first- first tlrstAnd firstAnd first firstAnd - And m in the amplifiers ampl1fiers put our trust trustRefusmg trustRefusing trustRefusing Refusmg Refusing to face tacts facts and see theworst theworst the theworst worst , , And substituting substitutmg Some day for forthe forthe , the Must ? ' > I IHave Have we thought of the world as buta but buta a play playAnd playAnd playAnd And lightly hghtly viewed the acting actmg andthe andthe and andthe the plot plot'Have plotHave ' ? , Have we been blind blmd and stupid allthe allthe all allthe the way way9 way9Here ? ' Here s hoping hopmg deeply hoping bopmg we wehave wehave wehave have not ' ft . ft . ft . ftSign Sign reported over a movie moviehouse moviehouse moviehouse house One Foot in Heaven and andHellzapoppm andHellzapoppm andHeIIzapoppm andHeIIzapoppmft Hellzapoppm ft . ft . ft . ftThe ElmerI ; The lunchroom lunch room man aslced asked ElmerTwitchell Elmer ElmerTWIchell ElmerTwitchell I TWI/chell TWI chell Twitchell / How many lumps9 lumps ? ' uhen uhenhe u uhenhe ien ienhe he orderedcoffee ordered coffee the he ! other day One Onean Onein Onein an in the cup " replied Mr tIr ! Twitchell Twawhell Twitchelland , , and one to take out outft . ft . ft . ftPRIORITY PRIORITY \ MOTHER 1\IOTDER 1 IOTDER GOOSE GOOSETo GOOSETo GOOSETo To market to marketTo marketTo market marketTo To buy a tat fat pig pigBefore pigBefore pigBefore Before there s a ruling rulingWith rulingWith rulingWith With Henderson Denderson s n sie slg sag " ft . ft . ft . ftWhy Why is It that the names of so somany somany somany many men in lD a British cabinet al always always always ways sound like hotels ointments omtments or orpolo orpolo orpolo polo fields ? ft . ft . ft . ftWashington Washington Washmgton authorities explained explainedthat explainedthat explainedthat that a deficiency in anti anb aircraft all"cralt allcralt " am ammumt ammunit ammumt mumt munit on such as was reported on an anAmerican anAmerican anAmerican American warship did not necessarl necessar necessarlIy necessarly necessanly Iy ly mean It would fail lall to go off but butrather butrather butrather rather that it would wouid go off WithOUt WithOUtfull withoutfull withoutfull full force lorce A 30 per cent normal normalshell normalshell normalshell shell would attain attam a height of 10000 10000feet 10 000 000feet 000feet feet instead of ol 30000 30000Newspaper 000Newspaper 30 000 -Newspaper Newspaper - NewspaperItem NewspaperItem NewspaperItem Item ft . ft . ft . ftJust Just In case that makes you feel feelbetter feelbetter feelbetter better ft . ft . . ft . ftDonald Donald Mason Mason , , , Rochester M1nn Minn M1nnp Minnpilot Minnpilot p pilot ot who sent the famous messageSighted messageSighted message messageSighted Sighted Sub Sank Same has hasbeen hasbeen hasbeen been promoted and commended for forvalor forvalor torvalor valor We trust the navy notlfica notiflca notlficahon notiflcation notifieslion hon tion came to him hun hum in one of these theseforms theseforms theseforms theseformsMessage forms formsMessage formsMessage Message quoted quotedYou quotedYou quotedYou You re promotedNice promoted promotedNice Nice gomg going gomgFuture goingFuture goingFuture Future glowingDon glowing glowingDon Don Okay Okaylledal OkayMedal OkayMedal l\ledal l ledal Medal lledalon Medalon \ on way wayft ft . ft . * . SIMILESHe SIMILES SIMILESHe He was m in as many places at once onceas onceas as the JapsShe JapsShe Japs JapsShe She was as co d as a Russian Russianwmter Russianwinter Russianwinter wmterR winterR wmter winter -R R - R Roelofs Jr JrON Jrft . . ON TO NIAGARA FALLS ' Married Marian Walk daughter daughterof daughterol ol of Mr and Mrs C L Walk to Mr MrAllen MrAllen MrAlien Allen Tripp of ol DetroItMillsboro Detroit . . -Millsboro Millsboro - MillsboroOhio MillsboroOhio MillsboroOhio Ohio News Newsft ft . ft . ft . fthe fhe the [ he best man was Vtltie Willie llike hike Hikeft . ft . . ft . ftThen Then the lights come on and MIss Mass MassLamarr MIssLamarr MissLamarr Lamarr stands there hands in pock pockets pocketa pockets ets eta hair down and informal hands handson handson handson on a built up brass rail rall facing a ablank ablank ablank blank screenPhila screen -Phila Phila - Phila Inquirer Inquirerft . ft . ft . ftIt It s II 5 a good trick tnck track if it she did It |