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Show St SEEN SIEN : 8tJd 1IEARDMAIN HEARD IlEAIID 1-IEARD 1 IEARD - - e > c > , . " / ? - 'MAIN MAIN ' MAIN STREET STUEET STREETDefmilions Mp.P MpP . ; 7 7Definitions I Defmilions DefinitIons DefinitIonsNIW DefinitionsNEW DefmilionsNEW NEW NIW : YEAR S When fair minded mindedfathers mindedfathers mindedfathers . fathers quit : playing jlaylng with the the'I then then ' n echanicil echanic'll echanicll ' toys and turn them themback themback themback back to the kids kids000 kids000 'I I -000- 000 000It - - 000It oOo oOoIt - - It also is . the t.he time of year when whens whenwe s \ se e all start with a clean slate slateas slateas slateas as fir hr as our bank account is con concerntd concerncd concerntd cerntd cerncd cerntd000 cerncd000 -000- 000 000It - - 000It oOo oOoIt - - It further Is the time when yvhen : a lot lotof lotof lotof of people get fur coats-on coats on coats - - on theIr theIrtongues theirtongues theirtongues tongues tonguesoOo tongues000Philosophy -oOo oOo -000-Philosophy 000 Philosophy - - 000PhilosophyThe oOo oOoPhilosophyThe - Philosophy PhilosophyThe PhilosophyThe The Wise Mm M'ln Mln Min ' and nnd the Fool Fools Foolsmoney Foolsmoney s smoney money are soon united000 united000 united -000- 000 000WIllIe - - 000Willie oOo oOoWillie - - Willie Mother are you going gomg toII toget to toget II IIget get that fur coat you wanted fromSanta fromSanta from fromSanta Santa Claus Clam this wmter wmter9 wmter9Mother winter'Mother winterMother ' ? I IMother Mother I Im m afraid not dear dearWillie dearWlllle , Willie But mother ha have ve youtried youtried you | tried throwing yourself on the thl ' floorand floorand floor floorandi andi and kicking and yelling yellmg like hke I doQOo do000 do ? ' > ' --QOo- QOo --000- 000 - QOoWlfey - - 000Wiley oOo - Wifey Wlfey Wiley Why Bob I don dont t be beliele be11eve belleve liele 11eve you have hale smoked a single smgle one oneof oneof oneof of those lovely cigars I give g'lve glve ' you youfor youfor youfor . for ChristmasBob Christmas Chnstmas ChristmasBob Bob No dear I intend to keep keepthem keepthem keepthem them until untU Junior Jumor grows up and andv anda andwants v a . ants to leam learn to smoke000 smoke000 smoke -000- 000 000Tenant - - 000Tenant oOo - - Tenant I II wish Ish you would speak speakto speakto speakto to the people upstairs This morn morning morning moming ing at three o 0 clock they were werejumping werejumping werejumping jumping up and down and banging bangingon on tt tl the e a floor Ion I \\-on on \ - wont t stand for forsuch forsuch forsuch such disturbancesLandlord disturbancesLandlord disturbances disturbancesLandlord Landlord How did you happ Kapp n nto nto nto to hear them at that hour in the thenight thenight thenight night ? Tenant I was "as as ass " practicing on my mysaxophone mysaxophone mysaxophone saxophone saxophone000 saxophone000 -000- 000 - - 000Definition oOo oOoDefinitionLEISURE - - 000Defimhon Defimhon Definition DefimhonLEISURE DefinitionLEISURE DefinitionLEISURE LEISURE A by-product by product bY-1-roduct 1 roduct by-i by i - - - roduct of ef of effiCleI"CY officiercy efficiercy fiCleI"CY fiCleICY ficiercy " -vvv- vvv vvvHandmg - - Handing Handmg out charity chanty may be a agenerous agenerous agenerous generous act say savs sas ) s Dad Gummit Gummitbut Gummitbut Gummitbut but there are times " when "hen hen ahen a , swift swiftkick swiftkick swiftkick kick in the pants would do the thebeneficiary thebeneficiary thebeneficiary beneficiary more goodoo good000 good goodoOo -oo- oo -000- 000 - { ) - oOo 000Mrs ooMrs - - Mrs Whiffletree hated to pay $3 3 $3just $3just $3just 3just $ just to have hale her throat painted paintedI paintedwith paintedwith paintedwith I with iodine by the doctor when she shewas shewas shewas was charged only $250 250 $ to get her herwhole herwhole herwhole I herI whole kitchen painted . ! ted - - Two maiden ladles ladies traveling travelmg m in mCalifornIa inCalifornia inCalifornia CalifornIa were acre II ere chatting busily as astheIr astheir astheir theIr train tram slowed slo\\oed slo oed \ down do\\n do n \ "hen hen when "henpassing whenpassing " whenpassing passing an orange-racking orange racking orange.packlng orangepacklng orange-packing packing . - plant plantExclaimed plantExclaimed plantExclaimed Exclaimed one Well did ) souever ou ouever ouever ever ' ' Look at that sign Sunkist SunkistNavels Nalels sunklstlNalels Nat els The other was lIas vvas just sunklstl as asshocked asshocked asshocked ) shocked Doar Dsar I > ar me she said saidthJS saidthis saidthis thJS this must be HoJJywooOo Hollywood000 Hollywood HoJJywoo " ' -Oo- Oo -000- 000 - { ) - 000If oOo oOoIf OoIf - - If a barbel barber cuts vour your ) our facehle face \\hle hle ahile ahileshaving \ whileshaving hleshavmg ! shavmg shaving you " ' "he he 'he " he will it if a beginner beginnersay beginnersay beginnersay say Oh I TO m sorry If an old oldtmer oldtimer oldtuner tmer timer ! he hell 11 say Hold still or I Ill Illcut 111cut 11 11cut cut you000 you I i -Oo- Oo -000- 000 - { ) - 000MODERN oOo-MODERN oOo MODERN OoMODERN - - MODERN VERSIO'J VERSIOJ VERSIOV VERSIO'JMary VERSIOVMary VERSIONMary ' Mary had bad a little httle VERSIO'JI lambA lambA Iamb lamb IambA I A friend fnend give gwe her to keep keepIt keepIt keepIt It ! followed oowed ] Icr ber her around until untilIt untilIt untilIt It died fr from lack of sleepI sleep000 sleep -000- 000 - 000A oOo oOoA - A man has finally reached the theage theage theage I age of discretion when he thmkshe thinkshe thinks thmks ihe he has theI the \I I \ world sorld orld by tne toe tail tall but butIs butis butis Is no longer sure he can swing swmg itOo it000 It , -Oo- Oo -000- 000 - { ) - 000A oOo- oOo oOoIA OoA - - itI I IA A man does his best work Ilork at atfifty atfifti fift atlfift fifty } sa says savs s an eminent emment sclenl1st scientist sclenl1stbut scientistbut scientistbut atl but we well 11 bet he lies s the same one 'II II ' whostated a ho host hostated st stated ! ' ted ten years ago tha that t he is at athIs athis athis hIs best at forty forty000 fortyoOo atI --000- 000 -oOo- oOo - 000r oOoIsurse - oOo - I r- r - Nurse rurse Isurse urse You wish to see tieyoung be tie beIyoung tieyoung thelauto young man \ v \ ho was I\as I as ass \ injured in m thel theauto auto autoccldent iceidentGirl ' \ iccident \ccldent ccldent iceident iccidentGirl ccldentGirl Iyoung Girl YesNu YesNu Yes YesNu Nu e a You are the young lady ladywho ladywho ladywho who whoas \ was \\as as with Illth ssith him at the tune tllne of ofthe ofthe ofthe the accident arent aren t you ? Itlwould Gnl Gill Gul Gnl.es -.es .es Ies - . es and I thought Itl itwould | would be onl onli only } fair to give him the thekiss thekiss kISS he was trying for000 for thelkISS -Oo- Oo -000- 000 - { ) - 000Definition oOo-DeflnitionOPTIMIST oOo DeflnitionOPTIMIST OoDefimtlon - - thel I Defimtlon Definition DefinitionOPTIMIST . OPTIMIST One who looks 100ks upon I hfe life uponlife as an unexpected dividendPESSIMIST dividend dividendPESSIMIST uponI I dslife dshfe regardslife PESSIMIST One \ who ho regards regal ds hfe life as a note coming commg dueOo due000 due -Oo- Oo -000- 000 - { ) - 000Teacher oOo OoTeacher - - theback thebach Teacher Will wIn vou you ) OU bovs bos boys } in the bach back . of the room stop exchangmg exchanging exchangmgnotes exchangingnotes exchangingnotes notes ? Student Those aren t notes sir they sirtheyie sirthey 1 ie e cards were aere II e re playing rum rummy rummy rummyTeacher ! my myTeacher Teacher Oh I beg your paidon paldon pardon pardonMore -Oo- Oo - { ) oOo oOoMore Oo'lore - I yThe ' More 'lore lore Philosopi Phllosopl Philosopl y youknow The more kinds kmds of people peo"le peole peoJe " , you ! knoll know the more you a " wonder onder how howI howany howany I . any of them can look do dovn vn vii or up to upto the others000 others I othersI JOo- JOo -000- 000 JOoWhat - < - 000What oOo oOoWhat - What this country countn needs de declares dedares deClares clares dares Dad Gummit Gummlt is fewer fe"er feer " people peopletell tell ng us lIS what Ilhat shat the country needs000 needs : 00- 00 -000-- 000 00Don - < > - 000Don oOo oOoDont - - - Don Dont t be so long \ winded ainded lnded in lout ) OUI OUIreports ioulreports loutreports reports reportsas as you have been in the thepast thepast thepast past said the manager of the Wd Wild theWild theWd ! West railway to his over overse overseer overse-r overse r se seer ofthe < > - r Just report the condition of the track as ve ye } e find it and don dontput t tput tput put in a lot of needless II wordA aords ord ! , that thataln thataim thatain businessletter aln aim t to the point Write a business letter letterA not a love letter A few days later the ra11 railway ! ay line linelas linewas linewas \las las was \ badl badli badly Hooded flooded and the overse oerse , r rI rarote rwrote inone \I I \ arote rote his re report ort to the manager in one railwaywas aylas railwaya line Sir II where ahere here the ra\\ ra raay railway ! \ ay \las las a \ as the river IsI is I |