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Show 61 , D Diphiihor iphiihorTHOUGHTS tPhillipr iphiihor tPhilliprTHOUGHTS THOUGHTS rllOUGHTS AT THE CLOSE CLOSI : OF OFSUMMER OFSUMlIIR OFSUMMER SUMMER SUMl\IIR SUMl IIR SUMlIIRThe SUMMERThe SUMMERThe \ : The summer season is closing closingand closingand closingand and the great American publ c has hasonly hasonly hasonly only a fewweeks fewweeksmore few weeksmore weeks . . more mhlch mwhich in m \ which \\hlch hlch \ tolGet to1Get to j l-Get l Get 1-Get 1 1 - Get its dlscomforts discomforts dis dls comforts awayfrom awayfrom away awayfrom -from from - from home2Sleep home2Sleep home [ - ; 2-Sleep 2 Sleep 2--Sleep - 2 - - Sleep on a amattrcss amattress amattress mattrcss mattress stuiIed stuffed stuiIedwIth stuffedwith stuffedwith wIth anthracIte anthracItecoalin anthracitecoalin anthracitecoalin coalin a bed thatIS thatis that thatis is a souvenir of the metal mdustry industry industryat mdustryat at its worst . . 3-Bccom 3 Bccom 3-Becomd Becomd - 3 - Become accustomed to mos mosqUltoes mosquitoes mosquitoes qUltoes quitoes in bedrooms crickets in the thecloets theclo"ets theclo'ets thecloets clo-ets clo ets clo"ets cloets ' - " hornets in m the sun porch porchants porchants porchants ants in the table linen and spIders spIdersall spidersall spidersall all over the premIses4Dnve premises4Drive premises 4-Dnve 4 Dnve 4-Drive Drive - 4 - Drive from 100 to 500 miles in inan inan inan an overloaded flivver fiivver with poorbrakes poorbrakes poor _ brakes no sun sunshield sunshield sun1 shield one defecbve de \ ' fecfave fecbve fective headlIght headlIghtand headlightand headlighti and a constantaroma constantaroma constant ) aroma of some somethmg something something thmg thing burning5Spend burning burning5Spend 5-Spend 5 Spend - 5 - Spend days daysat daysat daysat at a fame tIme in 111 heat heatcd heated heatcd cd ed arguments argumentsover argumentsover argumentsover over what v.hat vhat . the road signs mean . . * . . . 6-Tour 6 Tour 6--Tour - 6 - - Tour through endless miles of ofhotdog ofhotdog ofhot-dog ofhot dog hot-dog hot dog - - gasoline gasolme tourist camp and andsouvenir andsouvenir andsouvenir souvenir doggie and-doll and doll and-do11 do11 - - zones inthe In Inthe inthe the insane msane belief that it all a11 comes comesunder comesunder comesunder under the head of enjoying scenery7Waste scenery7Waste scenery j 7-Waste 7 Waste 7 - Waste hours in country barns barnsd d splaying Antiques s gns so the thehttle thelittle thelittle httle little woman can look at spmnlng spinning spmnlngwheels spinningwheels spinningwheels wheels she doesn t want ox yokes yokesshe yokesshe yokesshe she can t possibly use and early earlyAmerIcan earlyAmerican earlyAmerican AmerIcan shaving mugs that don t tmean tmean tmean mean a th ng to her8Learn her8Learn her 8-Learn 8 Learn - 8 - Learn what America Amenca s doctors doctorsare doctorsare doctorsare are prescribing pres"nbmg presnbmg " for bellyache belly ache tills this tillssummer thissummer thissummer summer summer9Spend 9-Spend 9 Spend 9 - - Spend two twoor twoor twoor or three terrible terriblenights terribleo terriblenights terriblenights o nights in m those thosepIano thosepiano ? W 5 Noes Noespiano pIano boxes boxesknown boxesknown w wknown known as tOurISt tOurIStcamp touristcamp touristcamp camp cottageslaDetermine cottages10Determine cottages la-Determine la Determine 10-Determine 10 laDeterminehow 10Determinehowmuchthe 10 - - Determinehowmuchthe how howmuchthe much the human human hu human man system can endure in m the mat matter matter matter ter of steamed clams fried clams clamsclam clamsclam clamsclam clam fritters fntters and clam chowder notto not notto notto to mention mcnbon lobsters crabs cucum cucumber cucumher cucumber ber her salads and the strange fish na natIve nalive nafave tIve live to stranger communities communlbes * . . . ll-Pursue ll Pursue 11-Pursue 11 11 - Pursue the search for a hotel hotellunchroom hotellunchroom hotellunchroom lunchroom drug store or drink toun foun fountaln fountarn _ tain taln tarn that doesn tcut tcut t cut its orange orangeJUIce orangejuice orangejuice JUIce down to a apomt apoint apoint pomt point where ItmIght itmight it , might more prop- prop propnS prop properly properly - > nS\ nS nSeriy \ eriy erly be labeledHydrantJUlce labeledHydrantJutce labeled ' HydrantJmce HydrantJUlce HydrantJutce 12 - Sample Samplesome Samplesome Samplesome some of o1 the theworld theworlds world \ orId s worst coffee13Fmd coffee13Find coffee 13-Fmd 13 Fmd 13-Find Find 13 - - Find out where the worst worstchefs worstchefs worstchefs chefs go in m summer14Make summer14Make summer 14-Make 14 Make 14--Make 14 - - - Make the annual dIscovery dIscoverythat discoverythat discoverythat that there is no sense in trying to toget toget toget get any salt from a salt cellar at ata ata ata a shore resort . . 15 l 15-Discover 15 Discover - Discover Dlscover that a change incourses m mcourses mcourses courses makes no difference in inyour inyour inyour your golf gameo game o * . . o . o16Find 16-Fmd 16 Fmd 16-Find Find 16 - - Find out that 97 per cent of ofthe ofthe ofthe the instantaneous mstantaneous hot water systems systemsin systemsm m in the rural districts are out of or order order order der der170bserve der17Observe 17-0bserve 17 0bserve 17-Observe Observe 17 - Observe once again agam that not notone notone notone one cook in a thousand can try fry an anegg anegg anegg egg without burning burnmg the bottom until sintil un sin Itil til the whole thing tastes like something something some- some something - - | thing cut from a hot bot brake bandI8Experlence band18Experience band I8-Experlence I8 Experlence 18-Experience 18 Experience 18 - - Experience incredible d1fficul dafficul d1fficulty dafficulty difficulty ty getting gettmg a room that is not located locateddIrectly locateddirectly locateddirectly dIrectly over thehotel thehotel the hotel garagenew garage a anew anew new federal proJ prof proJect profect project ect invol involving VlDg VlDgsteam ' f ' ! ) sjsteam , steam shovels ona ona on "y/ "y y "ya " / a night mght shift sluft orone orone or / ' one fi ft fl ght overthe overthe over overjJ \jJ jJ \ lthe the ballroomwhere ballroomwhere ballroom - .where where . where the worst worstorchestra worstorchestra orchestra m In North America bas has basbeen hasbeen hasbeen been engaged tor for the summer SUD1D1er season season sea seaTHE son sonTHE . . . THE MAIN l\IAIN l IAIN \ CONCERNWith CONCERNWith CONCERN CONCERNWith With problems high and mIghtyTo mightyTo mighty mightyTo To seize this world and shake it it itThe , , The question day and nighty mghty nightyIs mghtyIs Is Will the Yankees make it7 its . . . N ght harness racing racmg is to be held heldfor heldfor heldtor for 30 nights nlgbts on the track built forauto for forauto forauto auto speed racing racmg on Long Island Island.A IslandA . . A m million lJ.on lJon . dollars dollars-was dollars was . - was sunk at this thistrack thistrack thistrack track to make it a motor speedway speedwayand speedwayand speedwayand and if the horses don t do so well wellyou wellyou wellyou you can attribute attnbute it to a major out out- outbreak outbreak outbreak - - break of what is as known as the horse horselaugh horselaugh horselaugh laugh . . . * . * . Thumbnail description descrlpbon by R Roe Roelofs Roelots , 10fs lofs Jr - She loved beauty beautyand beautyand beautyand and was never without a mirror 0 . 0 . * . Overheard by Seymour She Shemust Shemust Shemust must be a telephone girl I said saidHello saidHello saidHello Hello to her twice and got no an answer anewer aniwer swer ewer . o . 0 . 0TO TO LI W\G W G JII.G JIIG HUAG I . \ GILESMe GILESMe GILES GILESMe Me no care what Confucius say sayBut sayBut sayBut But still me lissen anyway anywayl.Matorie anywayl I . ' Majone -.Matorie .Matorie - . Lederer . . . Elmer Twitchell Twltche11 Twatchell would like lake to see seea seea sera a Galiup Gallup Poll taken to see whethe whether whetherthere whetherthere ; there Polls GallopPolls should be any more Gallop GalloiPolls GalloiPollsAdd . . . Add similes As bored looking 100kmg as asa asa * ia a member of a night club Ha"ahan Haahan Hawaiian Ha"ahanorchestra Hawaiianorchestra Hawaiiarorchestra " orchestra sing ng the words ot of a na nabve native nalive bve tive love song . |