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Show SEEN SEEW lEARD lEARDMAIN UEAIIDI UEAIIDM HEARD UEAIID I I M MAIN NSTmET NSTmETI STREET STREETDefinition STREETM M DefimtlonREPUBLICAN DefinitionREPUBLICAN Definition Defimtlon DefinitionREPUBLICAN REPUBLICAN One who bzlle\ bzlle bzllees believes believesthat believesthat \ es esthat that Thanksgiving Thanksghing Day should be beI bedesignated bedc&ign-ited bedc&ign bedcign ited I dc designated & Ign'tted Igntted ' - as the day President PresidentRoosevelt PresidentRoosevelt PresidentRoosevelt Roosevelt leaves office . . . . An Aberdeen " 'Wash Wash "ash ash ' cditor editor cditortlmks editorlinks editor(1 editor1 tlmks links ( inks R Roosevelt 0 os eve 1 t changed changedI changedThanksgI changedThanksgising chancedThanksjrmne I ThanksgI\ ThanksgI ThanksgImg Thanksgising \ mg Day Ju just t to gct get gctcen getesen'sills getMen c\en c en cenltll esen'sills esensills \ \ ' with \\ltll ltll 1I.ew 1Iew Hew . I ew EnglandII EnglandMost England II . * . . . Most editors don t carehen care \\hen hen 'shen shen 'shenThanksgiv \ ' whenThanksgiv henThanksgIv ThanksgIv i r g Day ccires CClres canes they theyC'Ul theycan theycw ' their little meal < ll llone llone C'Ul CUl can tnjoy EnJoy ' is 'is as w ss \ < : on 111on one , day as anoll anotl er 111 , . . ft . . But don t I make too many manyplans manyplans manyplans plans for Chnstmis Chnstm'ls Chnstmls Christmas ' It ItmIght itmight itmight mIght be switched sWItchcd to January . . * . . Definition Defimtlon DefimtlonS1ART DefinitionSMART DefinitionSMART SMART S\1ART S 1ART \ PREACHER One who whoIs whois whois Is Isell ' \ well \\ell ell 'sell sell a\\ale a ale a'saie asaie aw \ ' aie of the fact that ab absolutely ansolutely I Isolutely solutely no souls are saved after afterthe afterthe afterthe the first t\\ t to twenty tenty \ \ enty minutes mmutes of thesermon thesermon the thesermon sermon afterI I . . . . HOW TO BE A SUCCESSFUL SUCCESSFULORATOR SUCCESSFULORATOR SUCCESSFULORATOR ORATOR Stand 1 ip up p SUCCESSFULI so the3 they the ; can cansee cansee cansee I see iou 30U you Syeak S"eak Seak Speak " up so they can hed hear hearyou hearyou ( you Shuu Shuo Shin up liP so they w 11 lIk.e30U likeyou like lIk.e likeiou . iou 30U you . . . . lIk.eI I And : MARRIAGE is the only lIfe lIfesentence lifesentence lifesentence sentence that may b " ' commuted commutedfoi commutedfor foi for bad behavior . . . . I should like to go to my mymother mymother mymother mother in IaS law Ia\\ Ia \ s funeral thIs thIsafternoon thisafternoon thisafternoon afternoon sir said the del cleik cleikto cleikto k kto to hl his bos bossSo boss bossSo So should I replied rephed the thebo theboss thebo bo boss < " s . as a'i ai ' he turned to his deskagam deskagain desk deskScotty agam again . . . . Scott Scotty MacGregor slicks his hair hairdo hairdovn I ] Ido do vn vnlth \ with \\lth lth \ lard as it is short shortenlng shortening shortening enlng ening and he doesnt doesn t lave 1-ave 1 ave rave - ' to b yI yIso y I Iso | so mani man3 many haircutsI haircuts . * . . . I I ID'ld Did D'ld Dld ' Gummit Gummlt has hay fe\er fe er fever feerI feerso feverso te\crso te crso \ \ I so bad that he even sneezes sneezeseverv sneezesevery sneezesevery everv every time he i 1 iisses ' \ -isses isses asses - ses a gra grass grasswidow grasiSMidow s s"Ido "Ido\\ "Ido Ido widow " \ sr r "IdoWHERE . . * . * . WHERE THERE S A WILLtheres WILLthere WILL WILLthere theres there s always al\\ays al ays al's als \ ' ays a relative I . . relativeI . . I | The gIrlas girl ' , was \as as 'sas sas \ telling tel1mg her father fatherabout fatherabout fatherabout about her latest conquest I Im m sure sureyou sureyou sureyou you 11 1 I ke Charlie Charl1e dad he s a fine fineyoung fineyoung fineyoung young manHas man I | Has he any m0l1e3 money mone } ? Oh dad-you dad you dad - you men are all allk.eso alikeso alike allk.e allke alikeso . -so so - so inquisitive That Thats s eJ.3.ctl3hat exactly eJ.3.ctl3 eJ3.ctl3 eJ3ctl3 . whatChailies ' \ what \\hat hat whatChailies hatChallles Chailies Challles asked ask.ed . about youMost you I IIost . . . . " \ Most \Iost Iost auto accidents occur onSaturday On onSaturday I ISaturday Saturday and Sunday It Its s a a agreat agreat , STeat great life if you > ) ou don dont t week end I . . . . I Im m in sorry SOITY to have to do thissaid this isaid , said Junior as he spread jam onthe onthe on ithe the ' visiting 1Slting ' babs"s babss baby"s babys bab " " s face but I Ican Ican Icant can t have suspicion pointing pomting itsfinger itsfinger its itsfinger finger at me . . . . Lena meI Genster was just a apanhandler apanhandler apanhandler I panhandler she gIvesfacIals givesfacials gives givesfacials facials in Jl1 a beauty shop . . . . shopI I | | Definition Defimhon I IFOLKS IFOLKS IFOLKS FOLKS WHO INSIST THE THEWORLD THEWORLD THEWORLD WORLD OWES THEM A LIVING LIVINGThose LIVINGThose Those \ who ho are too lay lazy ? to go outand out outand I and to t1"3 t13 try " to collect c collect l1 ct . . Once the herht helo-ht helo ht heieht - of Percy Percyn'hIITletree PercyWhiffletree PercyWhimetree I n'hIITletree nhIITletree Whiffletree ' s ambition was to toown toous loown own ous an automobile Now it ii iito I to sell sclI itWhat it Ito I . . . . What said ths the grocer four fourf fourat ) f those eggs I sent you were bad bad9 bad9Bring bad9Bring ? Brmg Bring them back and I 111 Ill II makethem makethem make makethem I them good . . . . I I ! , . know .now now he \ was as talking talk.mg talkmg . about aboutme aboutme me Noasn Now No\\ No No's Nos \ ' \\asn asn \ wasnt ssasnt \ the hey heyWell he9Well ? aboutI I Wel1 Well yes yesI yesI yesI I thought I heard him r remark . mark.1 mark1 tha that t I had a thick head of hairPartly hairPartly hair hairPartly Partly correct He didn didnt t men menhon mention mention hon tion your hair ho sever s \ ever . * . . * . GOOD MORALS are better than thangood thangood thangood good manners but not so opular popular popularsays } : popularsa opularsa sa says s Dad Gummit . . . . Effects Effect of alcol aIcol also ( ol 01 of should be beblOught bebrought bebi blOught brought ought home 5:13 513 says : sas } s a lecturer lecturerTI lecturerTl lecturerTl TI Tl ey U usna usua Da ly Iy arc-about arc about arc - - about tivo t\\O t O two \ or orthree orthree orthree three a m . . . . One day there came to a hospital hospitalclime hospitalclinic hospitalclinic clime clinic a neglooman negio neglo \ woman \\oman oman with a frac fractUi fractuied fractmed tUi tuied ed Ja jas ] a . \ , The surgeon intent mtent on ondiscovcrmg ondiscovering ondiscovering discovcrmg discovering the exact e.act eact ' . nature and andetel1t andextent andextent etel1t extent ' { of cf the mjuri mjur3 injury asked numer numerous numerous numerous ous questions to all of wl-ich wl ich wl'ich wlich \ rich ' - the thepat thepatent thepat pat patent ent returned evasive anser answers answ ans\\ ans \ er ; , Finally Fma1Jy she ad rutted mtted flitted she had been beenhit beenhit beenhit hit hituth \ with \uth uth an objectWas objectWas object objectWas Was it a large object7 object objects ? asked askedthe askedthe askedthe the ph3 physician slclan slclanTol physicianTolable physicianTol Tol Tolable able largeWas largeWas large largeWas Was it moving movll1g rapidly or slow slowly slowIS 13 ly ? Tol Tolable able fastT'1en fastThen fast fastT T'1en T1en Then T ' en hei hel her patience exh\usted exh usted exhausted exhustedshe exhaustedshe exhiustedshe ' \ she blu b bluted ] irted ted out I tell tel1 you de detroof detroof detroof troof doctah Ah \ ' wuz 'suz suz uz Jes jesnachelly jesnachellykick jesnachellykick nachel1y nachel1yhIck hIck kick . m in de face by a genlman genlmanfriend gen genlmanfriend lman friend - |