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Show SEEN SEENoh EEN 8hd d lEARD lEARDMAIN nEAROC HEARD nEARO - -C C - - O > A MAIN STREET STUEET STREETDefinition o a . T TDefinition DefinItionOLD DefinitionOLD Definition DefinitionOLD OLD TIMER One 021e who remem remembeTs rememhers remembers beTs hers when a man who ho saved his hismoney hismoney bismoney money and bought a home was wasconsidered wasconsidered wasconsidered considered shrewd . * . . * . IVhm 'When When ' a man doesnt doesn t care a.whoop awhoop a awhoop awhoop . whoop what people think of ofhun ofhum ofnun hun hum he has reached reaclIed either thetop thetop the thetop top or the bottom Dad Gumnut Gummit Gum nut mit observes . * . * . . Sound the thei they } tell us travels at the therate therate therate rate of 400 yards per second secondScandal secondScandal secondScandal Scandal however will wiII \ ill do 1 1000 1000yards 1000yards 000 000yards yards In the same saIne length of time timev.lule timeahiIe timewhile v.lule vlule ahiIe . Flattery will go 10 yards and andTruth andTruth andTruth Truth six inches . . . . Some people are squandermg squandering squandermgmoney squanderingmoney squanderingmoney money on lirtad brc.ad brcad brtad . , when vhen they havesearcely havey have havescarcely - y- y y.scarcely - . . -searcely searcely , . - , . scarcely .scarcely . a , drop of gasoline gasohne In inthe inthe the tank . * . * . * . Murphy put a stick of dynamite dynamitemto dynamiteinto dynamiteinto mto into his breast pocket I r m " , wait alt ng ngfor ngfor ngfor for Ca'ey Caey Ca-ey Ca ey Cagey ' - he explained Every Everytime Everytime Everytime time lie he meets me he slaps me on onthe onthe onthe the chest and bleaks breaks my pipe plpe Next Nexttime Nexttime Nexttime time he does it he II 11 blow his hand handoff handoff handoff off . . * . * . Certainly Certamly a college training traml11g trainmg helps helpsa a young } oung man to get a position Dad DadGummit DadGummit DadGummits Gummit s son was a champIOn champIOn.sprmter championsprinter championsprinter .sprmter sprmter sprinter . at college and now no\\ no nohe \ \ he Is Isa isa Isa a bank runnerIavor runner runnerr r . . * . * . ' \ flavor \Iavor Iavor Mayor Brack Lee of Price de deelares dedares dedares elares dares he is eomg gomg going to run ever\ ever every evergrafter everygrafter evervcritter " \ ' grafter and racketeer out of ofSalt ofSalt ofSalt Salt Lake Any city wishing "lShmg lShmg aishung " an anIncrease anincrease inincrease Increase of oC about 50000 50000in SO 000 in m ponu latlon lation ponulation ponulatlon write ' llr 'Ilr Ilr Mr Lee . . * . * . Critic Ahi Ah ! Andhat And \ what \\hat hat \ s tlLs tits th-sIt th sIt - ? It j i i- i isuperb . ' - superb What soul oul ' Whit Wh\t Wh t ' \ ex expression expression e\presslon e presslon epresslonArtist \ pression pressionArtIst Artist Yeah ' That Thats s where I Iclean Iclean Iclean clean the paint pamt off my brushes . * . * . * . Hint Hmt to ( o "l1s l1s MissionariesAfter " Missionaries MissionariesAftei lonanes lonanesAftel Aftei Aftel After converting convertmg the heathens in inpnmltlve inprimitive Inprimitive pnmltlve primitive lands how about "orkmg orkmg working "orkmgon workingon " orkingon on the American Amencan kind that wear wearpants wearpants wearpants pants and canv cane an a itoiiatic Ito'natIc ItonatIc ' ' ? . . . . againPretty Yep bu business lness is ticking tackmg nicking up again Pretty soon thev'11 thev11 thev'll thevll they'll theyll ' ' ' again be oellmg yelling oellmgnIckel yellingnickel sellingnickel nIckel cigais clgals cigars at Uo ho two for a quaiter qualter quarter . . . . Our " women "omen omen folks look lo\ely lo ely lonely \ lo\elytoday lo elytoday loelytoday lonelytoday today but how (10OU ( do (10 10 lo \ . toil \OU OU .ou suppose their supposetheir pictures1111 pictures \ will \1111 1111 look in the family thefamily album hirtT thlrtv thirty ( years Crom from Cromnow fromnow fromnow now " " . ' , . . . * . Did you } ou eier e\er e er ever \ notice that it al ala always alwais \\a a ways " \ s sounds louderhen louder \ when \\hen hen \ somebody somebodyelse somebodyelse somebodyelse else slams the door ? . . - - " When "nen nen you spend a . lot 3 y ; ou ouare ouare ouare are generous genero\os genero os generoLs \ when the olher other olherfellow otherfellow otherfellow fellow does he is a & spendthrift &pendthnft pendthnft . . . . 'We We ' ' Wed d better stop the game no\\ no now nothat nowthat nowthat \ \ that PercyEven . were v.ere vere even said Percy nowI I \ HOTdo Ho'Vdo Howdo Even ' exclaimed Oscar Ho'V HoV How ' do you figuie figure that thatPercy thaf ? | Percy Perry Well a little httle littlehlle httlehUe \\hlle hlle \\hUe hUe while \ \ ago you agoyou had all my money now I Ive Ivegot Ivegot ve vegot got all y lours jOurs ours oursLena . . . . Lena Genster is making ma\ng ma ng \ . ! fme fine pro gress progress to tovaid vald vaid matrimony Slie She tlun thinks thinksshe thinksshe .she she . is on the last lap now 110W . . * . * . i- i 1 L ' . iDefinition - DefinitionSHINILG Definition DefinitionSHIND.G SHIND.G SHINDG SIDNThG SHINILG . RAIMENT Our blup blue blupterge blueserge blueserge terge serge suit . . . . And aDore a Bore is 15 a guy who whotalks whotalks whotalks talks so much about himself hlmsel ! that thatyou thatyou thatyou you can cant t cet get in lU a s , " word ord about aboutyourself aboutyourself aboutyourself yourself . . * . . 'Oh Oh "Oh ' " Mr Policeman PoUceman a man has been hasbeen follo follow following " , mg meAxe meAre me meAre Are Axe you quite sure he has oeen following oeenfollowing you madam ? asked Len "Woo Woo " Len'Woodruff LenWoodruff Len"Woo Len'WoodruffOf ' Woodruff Woodruffof lru1 < ! Of couise COUlse course I am I went back to two toor twoor twoor " , or three times to see 5ee if he v . vas vascoming wascoming as asconung conung coming . . . * . One of the hazards of the highway thehighway Dad Gummit has not noted noted noted ed edIS is that some motorists motonsts drIve drIveIn drivein drivein In a state of extreme e'Ctreme eCtreme ' Infatu3 infatua Infatuatlon Infatu3tton infatuation tton tion . . . * . * . . Certainly our grandmothers gTandmothers v . ere d ferent different weredifferent eredifferent from their granddaughters The latter are now able to do whathe the former fonner always wanted to but butcoUldn't butcouldn't bu bucouldnt couldnt coUldn't ' ' * . * . . * . Not every bachelor girls is 15 a aman aman aman man who couldn couidn coaldnt t get the yirl gIrl gIrlhe girlhe yirlhe he wanted * . * . . * . DefimtlonETHICS DefinitionETHICS Definition Defimtlon DefinitionETHICS ETHICS The thing your com corn competltor cornpetitor cornpetltor petltor petitor Is supposed to follow and andfrom andfrom andfrom from which "blch blch " you } ou expect to make aprofit aprofit a aprofit ! profit . . . * . The city relatives were visiting the thefarm thefarm thefarm farm folks when the city father fathernoticed fathernoticed noticed his young : son fighting fightmg mth with withhis withhis Ius his country cousm'Here cousin cousm Here 'Here ' here what whats s all this tlus ' ? he be hecall becalled becalled call called called'Well Well 'Well ' ' his h15 son replied repbed 'It It ' ' Its s aU all aUJoe allToes allJoes Joe Toes s fault ' What 'What ' ' has Joe Iten been doln doing doins'He doinsHe : " ' ' ' He showed me a pieplint piephnt lephnt and an anegg anegg anecg egg plant and a cowslip cowshp andtome and ome tome tomehorseradish somehorseradish omehorseradIsh horseradIsh and I let bun inn get away awaymth awaywith awaywith mth with it but when wben be he tried tned to put putmilkweed putmilkweed ut utJWlkweed JWlkweed milkweed across on me I got mad madand madand madand and hit Jut him lnm hull . . ' ' |