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Show SEEN IEENo IEENoHEARD $ EEN 8i1d 4 IlEAnDC HEARD HEARDMAIN HEARD IlEAnD - "MAIN MAIN " -C C - > MAIN STREETWO STREET STI1EET STREETThe WO P Pu PThe l Yr . i ; ; I u The election is now over ovcr for foral foral foral al problems problem ' ! cannot he solved aspity as aspity aspity pity that our stale state and ua nation national national hon honal al problems cannot be solved an anea.ly aneasily aneasily ea.ly ealy easily . bv by office holders as by byoffice byoffice byoffice office seekers before election elechon . . * . * . DefimtlonRADICAL DefinitionRADICAL Definition Defimtlon DefinitionRADICAL RADICAL One vho craves what whatthe whatthe whatthe the Conservative has . . . . Thanksgiving D\v D v Div t ' \ iv ought to tobe tobe tobe be advanced Rchanced adsaneed a couple of weeks wfeksin weeksIn In election year Anyway Anvway were we \re re are arethankful ' \ "irethankful irethankful " rethankful thankful it is allover all overe over \ we \\e e can canturn canturn canturn turn on the nflio MdlO radio again and and1Ia andMa andMa 1\Ia 1 Ia Ma \ and Pa now hive h'lve hlve ' some somethml somethmg something thml thmg : ' ' else to talk about . . . * . Ten years ago the land around aroundhere aroundhere aroundhere here sold for only a dollar an acre acreNow acreNow acreNow Now it its s being sold for taxes taxesft . ft . ft . ft . ftThe The firm finn had bad advertised for a astenographer astenographer stenographer One of o ( the partners partnerswas partnerswas partnerswas was interviewing mteme"lng mtemelng mterviesing " a very pretty girl girlThe girlThe girlThe The other partner came in took a alook alook alook look at the girl glIl and whispered to tothe tothe tothe the mtersrewerlid mtenlev.erI interviewer mtenlev.er mtenlever mtersrewer interviewerId . I Id lid d hire lure her ' ' I have haveCan haveCan haveCan Can she take tal.e tale . dictation ? " " ? . well " s e II 11 find that out later I don dontwant t tv.ant twant v.ant vant want . any obstacles to crop up . . . . When sou you ou get in deepater deep \\ater ater water waterkeep ' \ waterkeep aterkeep keep sour your our mouth shut adiises ad\lses ad lses adsises \ DadGumlmt DadGummit Dad DadGummit Gummit Gumlmt . . . . lie Ill He ' See that man plaYllIg playsog plaYllIgfullback playsogfullback playingfullback9 fullback ? " Hell Ill He ' 11 be our best manin man manm manin m in about a weekShe weekShe wetli week wetliShe She Oh Ob this is so sudden . . . . POlUEIt POMEIts POME POlUE POMEIts It Its s not hard to prime a pumpWhen pumpWhen pump pumpWhen When the pump is in its prime primeBut primeBut primeBut But the poor thing thmg just won t pumpIf pumpIf pump pumpIt It If } ou prime it all the time bmel I ! . . * . . Lena Genster Is a one man gIrl gIrljust girljust girlJust just one man at a time . . . . \ Nothing 1\othll1l 1 othll1l : ' is entirely enhrely useless uselessEen uselessEsen uselessEl E\en E en Esen \ en a child who recites comes comesm comesm comesin m handy when sou 30U you want your yourguests yourguests yourguests guests to lea\c lea c lea\e e lease \ . " "and and " and even a awatch awatch awatch watch that doesn doesnt t run is right righthuce righttsice rightnice huce tsice ( a day . * . * . . You would could v . ouId stand more chance chanceof chanceof chanciof of getting gettmg a job if you . would v.ould vould sould shave shaveand shaveand shaviand and make yourself more present presentable presentable presentable presentableYes able ableYes . . Yes lady I found fOUIld that out outyears ou ouyeais yeais yeals years ago . . . . - HONESTY may be the best policy policybut policybut poltc : but It Is a terrible temble handicap hand1cap to tohunters tohunters t thunters < hunters fishermen and golfers . . . . Here 30ung young ? oung man youshouldnt you youshouldn youshouldn shouldn t hit that hoj Poy boy when whenhe whenhas whenhes he has s downG downG down downGway G Gway way ' What do you thmk think thinkI thmkI I got him hun dO\\ dO dOfor down dosn \ for ? " " ' . . - . . Would you give me ten cents centsto centsto centto to help the Old Ladies Home HomeWhat ? What-are What are - are they out again againft ? . ft . . ft . ftThe The horseback nde ride wasnt wasn t sobad so sobad sobad bad said Percy WhJffletree S1hifiletree S1hifiletreebut WhJffletreebut Whiffletreebut but he never saw anything anythmg fill filled filled filled ed edv.lth edwith . with v.lth vlth hay that could be so sohard sohard sohard hard ' Polly may say Polly Folly ' \ wants a ants a acracker acracker acracker cracker It if it is a male bird bird10therwlse birdOtherwise birdOtherwise Otherwise It says sa sas ; s Polly " , wants ants a aseven aseven aseven 10therwlse seven course dinner I . ft . ft . ft . ftHow How long you ; ou in 111 m Jail for Mose MoseT\\o MoseT o ? T\\O T O Tito TOeeks \ \ \ weeksWhat \ weeks \\eeks eeks weeksWhat \ eeksWhat What am de charge chargeNo ? No charge everything e\erythlng e erythlng eserything \ am free freeAh freeAh freeAh Ah mean what has you ycu d d d7Done ? " Done shot my wIfe wIfe'lou wifeIou wife\ou wife ou . 'lou lou Iou \ ' shot your wife and only onlv m in injail injail jail tor for two " weeks "eeles eeles seeks ? Dats all- all allen all-den all den all - < ! - den en I gets hung hungft . ft . ft . ft . ftThe The bride thought her hu husband ' band was daring danng and cour courageou courageous courageous ageou ageous ! > &o o so & o did e\ e eer eserbody eserbodyelse everybodyelse \ er ) } body bodyelse else ft . ft . ft . ft . ftDont Don Dont t I vou ou kno kno\ kno knoyou s \ you can cant t sell selllife selllife selllife life msuranceIthout insurance msurance ' \ without \\Ithout Ithout sithout a state statelicense statelicense statelicense license ? I knew kne\1 kne 1 \ I couldn couldnt t sell it but I Idldn Ididnt Ididnt dldn didnt t know thf thE ' re'1'1on re11on retson reisonft ' ' . ft . ft . . ft . ftThe The salesman who went wl'nt wlnt ' mto into intoa mtoa a restaurant and ordered ordererl bread breadand breadand breadand , and . milk m.J1k mJ1k \ Mdsnt sasnt dsn t on a . diet diethe diethe diethe he " was "as as sas on comm.J commJ commission commissionft . son < ; ! ft . ft . ft . * . - Daddy murmured Tom T om m yknowing y yknowing yknowing knowing knowingell ' \ well \\ell ell sell how his f ' \ fither f\ther f ther sther Ie re received IeeelVed ieceived eelVed ceived conversatJOnhle conversation conversatJOn while \\hle hle chile \ \ ] scannmg scanning scannmgthe scanningthe scanningthe the morning paper at the breakfast breakfasttable breakfasttable breakfasttable breakfasttableHis table tableIDs tableHis His IDs father scowled at him and andTommy andTommy andTommy Tommy waitedTwo waitedTwo waited waitedTwo Two minutes later Daddy this thisegg thisegg thisegg egg Is not fresh freshl freshlOne ! 1 1One One minute later Daddy this thisegg thisegg thisegg I I egg isIf is- is isI IsIf Is - - I It If you can cant t keep quiet at the thetable thetable , table 111 I'll Ill ' give you something to tomake tomake tcmake make you I ' " roared the father father'There father'There fatherThere 'There There ' ' is many a child would beglad be beglad beglad glad of an egg tor for breakfast breakfastSilence ISilence I ! Silence Then In a whisper whisperDaddy whisperDaddy whisperDaddy Daddy can cart I leave the beak ? |