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Show SEEN 8hd HEARDMAIN UEAnDC HEARD UEAnD -C C - " > c " . - " MAIN STREET STDEET STDEETI STREETIM IM $ I 7s 7ss s 7 7Definition DefinitionDEAD DefinitionDEAD Definition DEAD END STREET IN SCOT SCOTLAND SCOTLAND LAND One with a toll bridge on it 1 ' . . . * . Any merchant can tell yOU yOUthat youthat youthat that imrrifd m'lrried mlrried married ' men mtke m\ke m ke mike ' \ the thebet thebest ( hebest bet best , clerht clerkb clerks , They aren arcnt t in m such &ucha ucha sucha & uch ucha a hurry hUITY to get home borne at 6o 6 6o 6o o clock . . . . I ISummer Summer is here and Percy Whif WhiftIetlee Whiffietiee Whiffletiee tIetlee fietiee sa sais sass s he suffers suifers from the heatI heatmore heat heatI heatmOle heatmoie I mOle more in the summer sUIDlner sununer than any an ; othersea othersea other I sea 011 on . . . . The trouble with the guys guyswho guyswho guyswho who don dont t know anything anyth111 & says saysDad saysDad saysDad Dad Gummit Gummlt Gummrt is that they are arealays areallays arealways al\\ays al ays allays \ telling tellmg it to others . . . . DefmJtlonI DefmJtlonPOLITICAL DefinitionPOLITICAL Definition DefmJtlon DefinitionPOLITICAL I POLITICAL PLATFORM A dec declaration declaration I Ilaration laration of unattainable objectivesexpressed objectIves objectivesexpressed I expressed so as to arouse , , ithe the ma ma'd mad ma'dmum ma\lmum ma lmum ' ' \ mwn mum of confusion with the mini minimum minimum minimum mum of sincerity sTncerity sncerity ? a statement statementD18de statementnade statementmade D18de nade ; } by politicians pOl1ticians with v.lth vlth . loosememories loose loosememOrIes loosememories memOrIes tor for consumption by vot voters votera voters ers era who sho \ ho ne\ ne neer never ne \ er read more than the theheadimes theheadlines theheadlines headimes headlines on a page unless it has haspIctures haspictures haspictures pIctures pIcturesI . * . . . I There arc are always al\\ays al ays allays \ two sides to toI toevery toevery toevery I every question Dad Gummlt Gummrt Gummltasserts Gummrtasserts Gummitasserts asserts : the silly selfish sIde sIdeand sideand sideand and your own side . . . . DefimtlonCAUTION DefinitionCAUTION Definition Defimtlon DefinitionCAUTION CAUTION Making certain certam your yourGirl ) our ourGirl ouGirl Girl Friend doesn doesnt t keep a Diary . . . . At least it can be said thatthe that thatthe thatthe the modern bathing bathmg ' suits have havemade havemade havemade made Love at First Sight a alIttle alittle alittle lIttle more morc reasonable than It Itused itused itused used to be . . . * . Some of our Amerxan Amerl'eln Amerleln Ameri.an Amerian ' ( . actors actorshave actorshave actorhave have been lured ovei ovel over to Engb.nd Engbnd England Engb.ndDad EnglandDad EnglandDad . Dad Gummit Gummlt Gummrt sa\s sa s sass \ he 'I I v ' " viuld Auld ' ) uld 1 ke to tomake tomake tmake make a fe\\ fe fes fesuggestions \ \ suggestions him elf . * . * . . Movie comedians get more money moneythai mone ; thai tha"1 tha1 tha-i tha i " - our statesmen statesl1'en statesl1en ' but don dont t Qet set Qetthe setthe eetthe the idea that they are any funni funnJ 1 r i . * . . , . It Its s better to give thin tl1\n tl1 n than ' \ t tilend i ilend I Ilend lend says the ( he Philosopher Phdosopher and andit andit it costs about the same in III the thecud theend theend cud end . . . . Son Daddy dldn didnt t you } ou vbi-pme vbi pme whip whipme " lup lupme - me once for biting bitmg Tommy TommyDad ? Dad Yes son you ou hurt hm hIm very muchSon muchSon much muchSon Son Well WelI then Daddy you youought youought yoought ought to whip sister sisters s music teach teacher teacher teacher yesterday esterdaY right on onthe onthe o : er He bit sister the lips and I I know it hurt ber her berfor herfor for she put her hermns herTms ' \ -mns mns \Tms Tms arms - around hIS hISnec hisneck nrneck and tried to choke hims him nec neck ! . s . . , . . himI I Lady Tourists Touristslive Guide do yoi you youlive yoiAie live bere here hereGuide ? GUide No NoLady NoLady I Lady Aie Me Al e yoGuide you married ? Guide No NoLady NoLady NoLady ? ' ' brother brother9 brother9Guide brother'No brotherNo Lady Do 501Guide sou ou have a GUide No b bGuide but my sister has I II IFriendly . . . . Friendly Golfer to ( ( to Mars Pope Popelooking Popelooking Pop I ' looking for a lo lost t ball bam ) ) What sorb sorb10f sorblof &orlot orlot & banas ball ban \\as as was ft \ as It ? 10f lof i Ciddy C'1ddY C1ddY Caddy ' ( ( butting ins in ) ) A bran branI branne brarnev I ) ne v one-never one never one - never pioperly ploperly properly hit yetI yet . * . * . , 1 I Don t be loo too sen sent erl ug u ? $ ' . about 1.bout 1bout life lifeI lifeRemember lifeRemember lifeItenifmber Remember ) ioull oull nc\er nc er neer never \ , get outhve outalive out I \hve hve alive ' \ . - . - DefinitionSOCIAL Definition Defil1Jtlon DefinitionSOCIAL \ Making your yourcompany yourcompany SOCIAL TACT youlcompany company feel at hoire hotre home even thouer though thoughI thoughyou thoughyou thouerou I you youIsh ou s \ vush \\Ish Ish \ ish they werehen were ' . . . * . * . \ \ VHien \hen hen % hen a Gold Golil Digger marrIes marries1 marriesz 1 z ' . man for better or for WOl'6e WOl6e worse WOl'6eIt worseit worseit ' I It mean- mean means meanshe - , she take takes ' ! him for forever foreverything forever ever everything } ) ( thing hmg .he he he hes : s g.ot got gotAnd got . . . I I And why does a woman "oman oman noman " demand deman$250 deman250 she shehas shehas shhas month alimony a11mony when $250 250 $ a has been getting along on $2 2 $250veek 250veek $ 50 a aee aseek \\ee ee seek \ ! . ever since sheas she \ was \\as as married9 married ? . . . * . Putting Puttmg ' a . a , little l1tile sugar on onhat onwhat onwhat \\hat hat what \ you say believes beheves Dad DadGunurut DadGummrt DadGununit Gunurut Gummrt is just dust 35 a & lDlportant important importantas lDlportantas as putting i ' ! . v little salt on what whatyou whatou . you } ) ou hear hearhen * . . . * . " \ tthcn "hcn hcn \hen hen % someone calls calIs you a afool afool afool fool don dont t get e\cited e cited e"clted eclted excited \ " He lie may maybe maybe maybe be nght right . . . . Elderly Eldfrly Lady ( at the Moab Drug DrugHave ) Have you anything for gray hair hairWoodrow ham hamWoodrow ? Woodrow Davis Only the great greatest greatest greatest est respect madam |