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Show ; SEEN QN n d HEARD HEARDf r f fMAIN f 9 A ' MAIN 5TULfl 5TULflThere There are two kinds ot of men DadGummit Dad DadGummit DadI/Summit DadI Summit / Gummit has noted The kindho Und kind \\ho ho w \ whodo hodo ho hodo do what their wives tell them andthose andthose and andthose those who don dont t marry . * . . . ' WANTED Reliable orchard man manfoi manfoi [ fOI steady job JQb Don Dont t have morethan more morethan I Ithan I than two children It if you can helpI helpitAd helpitAd help helpit it-Ad it Ad it - Ad in Eugene Ore News Ne\\s Ne s \ . . . . Definition Defmition DefinitionSTATESMAN DefmitionSTATESMAN DefinitionSTATESMAN STATESMAN A man who ,110 110 " , is ls un unable unable unable [ able to solve the problems that thatwouldn thatwouldn thatwouldnt wouldn t exist it if there were nostatesmen nostatesmen no nostatesmen statesmen . . * . * . Short Sad StoryA Story StoryA A Moab man mans s wife W1fe came into hIs hIsoffice hisoffice hisoffice office unannounced Clapping Clappmg her herhands herhands herhands hands over his eyes she saidGuess saidGuess said Guess who this 1s1 Is ! Imaglne Imagine her surprise when he replied Stop Stopfoolmg tiropfooling withyour withyour with withyour foolmg fooling honey and get on your work like e a good girlDefinition girl . * . * . . Definition Deflmtlon DeflmtlonBRAGGART DefinitionBRAGGART DefinitionBRAGGART BRAGGART The guy who de declares dedares deClares clares dares marriage Is a 50 50 propositlon proposiLion proposi proposiOscar tlon Lion Lionr r . . . . and hIS hISwIfe hiswife biswife O Oscar < , car I1a Hassenpfeffer Iiassenpfeffer "enpferrer enpferrer " wIfe have been married just 3ust long longenough longenough longenough enough to discover dJscover that there thereare thereare thereare are a lot of things thmgs that can t be besaid besaid besaid said with flowers flov.ers flovers . . * . . . Lena Genster wasn t satisfied that thather thather thather certain certainsomethmg certainsomething certainsomething her boy friends have a somethmg something She Insisted uponsomething upon uponsomething something omethlng certain . * . . . The Lord made us "omen omen women "omenbeautiful womenbeautiful " womenbeautiful beautiful reflected Lena Genster Gen Genster Genstcr ster so the men " would "ould ould love us usand usand usand and dumb so we could eould 10\ 10 log 10them loie 10e loiethem \ e ethem them . . . . * . S * . Sru | ril rll ru be honestlth honest with \\lth lth \ \ you said the theyoung theyoung theyoung young man after their first em embrace embrace embrace brace you re not the first girl I Ihave Ihave Ihave have kissedI kissedIll kissed kissedIII I III Ill il be equally frank with youshe you youshe youshe she replied You Youve ve ye got a lot tolearn tolearn to tolearn learn . * . * . . Percy Whiffletrees Whiffletree s " , wife ife Is bload broad bloadmmded broadminded bioadminded mmded minded She admits there are two twosides twosides twosides sides to evel even eveo ' } question her hersand hers hersand s sand and her mothers mother s . * . * . * . POl\IE POl IE POME POMElour POME\our POME our \ 1our lour 1ourlfe \ ' \ wife \\lfe lfe lfeIll \ ' will \Ill Ill \ hear e\eu e eu excusesFor excuses excusesFor ' \ es esror For ror the late hours that you keep keepThen keepThen keepThen Then you ! 11 II l listen hsten listen h listenTill listen listenTill ten tenTill Till exhausted e\hausted e hausted ' \ you > ) ou fall asleep . * . * . * . ETERNAL TRIANGLE The Hus Husband Husband HUSaand band the Wife and the Can CanOpencr CanOpener CanOpener Opencr Opener . * . * . . 4 > Percy Whiffletrees WhIffletree Whriiletrees s " vile "He He wife thinks thinksso so o much of him that she even be bel1eves believes believes l1eves lieves the iparrot lparrot parrot taught him toSTlear toswear to toSure STlear swear . . . . Sure Japanants Japan \ wants \\ants ants peace a abIg abig abig bIg piece of China - - - |