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Show I T MEET THE WORTHLESS WORTHLESSHUSBAND HUSBAND PROBLEM PROBLEMi PROBLEMff.1 ff.1 ff1 : ' i . a aNI NI c , L ' - ( T ' : : t'bJ tbJ ' 1 1 Il The woman who h\s h s his ' \ children Is the richest woman in the world . No NoIntter Nomutter In\tter In tter mutter ' \ wh\t wh t whit ' \ her other problems . ma may ' be , U If she Is surrounded wIth wIth50ns withsons 50ns sons and daughters she < ; he can wOlk work her way Utrough through to halipiness h " , pmcss . I ! : I I By KATHLEEN NORRISTHC NORRIST NORRISHE NORRIS NORRISHHE HE worthless husband prob prob- problem problem problem - HHE THC T lem is always with us Itis It ItIS Itis IS very much at It : the moment momentwith momentwilh momentwith with wilh Kite K1.te K1te . Ranger , who writes writesme writesme writesme me from a :1 1 : farm in m the middle west westShe westShe westShe She doesn't doesnt ' know what to do about aboutJudd aboutJudd aboutJudd aboutJuddKate Judd JuddKate Kate is thirty five , she has fourchildren four fourchildren fourchildren children Boys of fourteen andeight and andeJght andeight eJght eight , , girls of ten and md four Thcy They Thcyhave Theyhave Theyhave have a place three miles from a asmall asmall asmall small cross roads town ; the chil chil- children children children - dren come and go to school , mov mov- movICS mov- mov movies movies - - ies ICS , dentist and nnd church in a Ford FordAn FordAn FordAn An Indian woman lives l1ves on the placeand place placeand placeand and helps Ka Kate te , an old Chinese Chmese does doesfarm doesfarm doesfarm farm work for his board and a few fewdollars fewdollars fewdollars dollars a month , and invested mvested capi capI- capItal capital capital - tal , , fortunately placed m in Kate's Kates Kate'sname Kate'sname Kate'sname Katesname ' name m 10 a happier hour , brings brmgs her herin herin herin in $200 200 $ a month With what israised 15 is 15raised israised raised on the farm and sold fromthe from fromthe fromthe the farm she is prosperous , her chil clul- clul cluldren chil- chil children children - - dren are "all all " darlings darlmgs . " She her her- herself herself herself - self does church and club work workhas , has h two . 0 married marrJed brothers on neigh nCJgh- nCJgh neigh- nCJghbormg neighboring neighboring - boring bormg farms where v.here vhere nhere . little cousmscan cousms cousins cousmscan cousinscan can come and go bO , altogether herlife her herlle herlife lle life ! would wouId be all in m order but for forJudd forJudd forJudd forJuddJudd Judd JuddJudd Judd has always 3lways oeen l3een a weakling weaklingHe weaklingHe He drinks drmks , he rolls dice and plays playspoker playspoker playspoker poker when then \ \ hen he can get hold of anymoney any anymoney anymoney money . He borrows He makesKate makes makesKate makesKate Kate ashamed and his cluldren children cluldrenashamed childrenashamed childrenashamed ashamed Not always , but oftenUsually oftenUsually often oftenUsually Usually he drifts drlts ! Idly about the thefarm thefarm thefarm farm , sometimes sometunes fishing , some some- sometunes sometimes sometimes - times tunes helping helpm , with cherries or pigpacking pig pigpack1Og pigpacking pack1Og packing , but generally quite qwte IdleKate idle idleKate idleKate Kate buys him lum tobacco ; sheon't she \\on't on't ont won't wont won'thave \ won'thave wonthave \ on'thave ' have one drop ot of l1 liquor hquor or on the theplace theplace theplace theplace"Not place place"Not "Not Not " v/ith v ith WJth with / Juddy almost fifteen fifteenand , and Judd like he is lS He isn't isnt ' everviolent ever evervIOlent everviolent vIOlent when he gets drinking drmkmg , , " shesays she shesays shesays says "But But " he's hes ' dreadful just the thesame thesame thesame same , arguing argumg along gently and andwantIng andwanting andwantmg wantIng to interfere mterfere . He'll Hell ' some some- somebmes sometimes sometimes - times bmes be in lD the car when the thechl1dren thechildren thechildren chl1dren children come out of school , , andyou and andyou andyou you can imagine unagme it Jt isn't isnt ' very pleas pleas- pleasant pleasant pleasant - ant for them It's Its ' a terrible thmg thing thmgto thingto thingto to say , but they don't dont ' hke 111.e 111e like . theIr theIrfather theirfather theirfather father , and it's its Jt's Jts ' his Ius fault . We hear hearhIm hearhim hearhim hIm snoring snormg sometimes when whenthey're whenthey're whenthey're whentheyre they're theyre ' doing their homework , andthey'll andtheyll and andthey'll andthey'll they'll theyll ' look at each other . I don'tallow dontallow don't dont don'tallow don'tallow ' allow any saucmessuJudd sauciness"Judd sauciness saucmess sauciness"Judd "Judd Judd uJudd " will help with the dishes dishessometimes , some sometimes tunes , or sometimes he'll hell ' be bereallrntated bereal bereal reallrntated real irritated and seem to feel sick sick.He sickHe . He goes off now and then for acouple a acouple acouple couple of days and I'm Im ' ' just lust at mywits my myWlts mywits Wlts wits ends to know.here know \ where \.here .here . he is HJS His HJSfnends Hisfriends Hisfriends fnends friends are the town bums , and andtwice andtwice andtwice twice one of them has tried tned to bor bor- borrow bor- bor borrow borrow - - row money from the childrenurve children"I've children children"I've "I've Ive urve " ' made it a matter of pray pray- prayer prayer - . er , " concludes this troubled wife"and wifeand wle wife ! , "and and " it seems that maybe I ought oughtto oughtto oughtto to divorce him I don't dont ' know where wherehe'd wherehe'd wherehe'd wherehed he'd hed ' go or what he'd hed ' do , but It's Its It'sall it'sall it'sall itsall ' all wrong to have him complicatIng complicatingthe the children's childrens ch dreu's dreus ' hves bves lives , when he doesn't doesnt doesn'tcontrIbute doesn'tcontribute doesn'tcontribute doesntcontribute ' contrIbute one cent to the house house- household household household - hold , or do anyone one bit of good goodHe's goodHe's goodHe's goodHes He's Hes ' awfully fond of at the baby , and andI andI I think she'd shed ' miss mJSS him , but a chIld chIldthat childthat childthat that age gets over anything anythmg , , and I Icould Icould Icould could explain to her some day that thather thather thather her father aUler ! was just the one thingthat th10g thing th10gthat thingthat that kept all our hves lIves ! from rom bemg being bemgideal beingideal beingideaL ideal . " Well , Kate , since you ask my ad- ad advice advice ad advice - vice you're youre ' going to get it 1t . It's Its It'stlus It'sthis It'sthis Itsthis ' tlus this . I wouldn't wouldnt ' divorce him I'd Id I'dforget I'dforget ' I'dforget Idforget ' forget that I ever thought of di divorcing w- w wvorcmg - vorcing vorcmg him hun . . I see in that Idle idleboozing , boozmg boozing , weak , disreputable father fatherof fatherof fatherof of theirs what is perhaps the most mostlmportant mostimportant mostimportant lmportant important element you can put in- in into into in into - to your children's childrens ' lives . , An ele- ele element ele element - ment meat that makes for tor strength in instead in- in instead instead - stead of ot weakness in m them . , forsalt for forsalt forsalt salt instead of too much sirupy sirupyI sirupysweet sirupysweet 5weet sweet . . In every possible way ' I'd Id ' make maketheir maketheir maketheir their childhood delightful deIlghtIul Cousm Cousin Cousmpartles Cousinparties Cousinparties partles parties , charades , theatricals theatncals , pic picnics plC- plC pie- pie plCmcs pieflies - nics mcs flies , long walks , swimming sWImmmg after aiter- aiter after- afternoons aiternoons afternoons - noons , candy pulls , house partlCs parties partlCsI'd partiesI'd partiesI'd partiesId I'd Id ' ' have a table out in m the yard yardunder yardunder yardunder under a tree , ' I'd Id ' have Juddy bUIld builda a little httIe grill near It it , , and have many manya a summer meal out of doors . , Youhave You Youhave Youhave have infinite mfimte sources of pleasure inthe in inthe inthe the possession of these sons and anddaughters anddaughters anddaughters daughters , make the most of themBUTkeep themBUTkeep them themBUT BUT-keep BUT keep BUT - keep in the picture this thisman thisman thisman man who demands tenderness , pa- pa pabenee patience pa patience - tience bene-e bene e - , courage , character , assist assist- assistance assistance assistance - ance , forgiveness from them allThis all allThis allThis This is their great chance to show showthat showthat showthat that they are not selfish , are not notl1vmg notliving notliving l1vmg living only for the chocolate burs bars bursand barsand barsand and the Mickey Mouses ; that.hen that \.hen .hen when whenlife \ whenlife . .henl l life e tests them they can show gen gen- generosity generosIty generosity - erosity and endurance Appreciateonce Appreciate Appreciateonce Appreciateonce once and tor for all that this poor weak weakIde weakidle weakidle Ide idle ) fellow has h3s lost what makes llCe life llCesVeet lifesiVeet lifesweet s\Veet s Veet siVeet \ and bearable to all of us ; he's hes lie's lies he'slost lie'slost he'slost heslost ' lost your respect , , his neighbors neighbors'and neighborsand ' and his children's childrens ' respect , , and andworst , worst of at all , his own respect , BOpity so sopIty sopity pIty him . Treat him honorably , and make makethe makethe makethe the children treat him so No teas teas- teasing teastag teasing - ing tag , no reproaches , no regrets for the man he might liave have been lIave Have lIavehis Havehis Havehis his chair set to the table , his bed bedmcely bednicely beenicely mcely nicely rmde m"1de m1de mide " , his wants wnnts consideredSay consIdered consIderedSay consideredSay Say to the children chJldren : "He He " is , ouifather our ourr ourfather r father ther , and you owe him all aU this this"and thisand , " " and say to the world as little httle as asthe asthe a-the a the - the world need hear . The effect upon the chlldren's chlldrens children's childrens chlldren'scharacter children'scharacter children'character childrencharacter ' character will w1l1 be only a little httIe less lessstartlmg lessstartling lesstartling startlmg startling and beneficial than the effeet ef- ef effect effect - fect upon your own Pe Peace ce and andharmony andharmony ancharmony harmony will reign rCJgn where lrntabllI irritabilt lrntabllIty irritabiltty irntability ty : and lnd impatience Jmpatlence were before This Thismaunder10g Thismaundcrmg Thismaundering maunder10g maundcrmg old derelict is your re- re responsJbllity re responsibility - . sponsJbllity sponsibility , as a half wilted wJtted witted child childould childwould chilcwould \\ould ould would \ be , and nnd tl ti e a moment you acccpt ac- ac accept ac - cept him bravely is JS the moment momentwhen momentwhen momentwhen when he ceases to be too heavy a aburden aburden burden The . worse .orse orse he is , in 10 fnet fact factthe , , the more strangely exalted you and andhis andhis anchis his children will WIU feel The more moreprovocatIOn moreprovocation moreI I moreI provocation the more glory in overcoming over- over overI overcoming - I commg coming It it . . genI : Suppose there were wcre another gen- gen gentIe gentie - . I tIe old loafer and drunkard m in town townwhose townwhose towrwhose whose two lovely girls you met metSuppose metSuppose metSuppose Suppose those girls spoke of their theirfather theirfather thenfather father with chinty ch"1nty ch1nty ch " irity and dignity dlgmty , canyou can canyou canyou you not see how much finer an im impression im- im impresslOn impression - pression presslOn they would make , than if R ifthey Rthey Lthey they had glibly explained e'Cplamed eCplamed ' that ma- ma mama mama ma.ma mama - . ma had kicked daddy out years yearsago yearsagog yearsago7 ago agog ? Suppose that oldest son of ofy ol5 y ours has a wife that is somethingless somethmg something somethmgless somethingless less than perfect some day . Isn'tit Isntit Isn't Isnt Isn'tIt Isn'tit ' It gomg going to be the greatest inspira msplrl- msplrl inspira- msplrltlOn inspiration inspiration : - - tion tlOn to him to remember mother's mothers mother'suntIrmg mother'suntirmg mother'suntiring mothersuntiring ' untIrmg devotion and dignity dlgmty ? And Andsuppose Andsuppose Andsuppose suppose some gallant young drmk- drmk drink- drink drmkcr drinker drink'er drinker - ' cr er presently comes after that old'est oldest old ' . est daughter7 daughter ? ' Remembering Remembermg heifather her herfather herfather father is she likely hkely to bell believe eve hIs hIspromises hispromises hispromises promises that he will instantly mstantly reform reform re- re - - form for love of her ? I don't dont ' think so soThe The woman who has childrenis children is the richest woman m in the world.No worldNo world . No matter what her other problems problemsmay problemsmay problemsmay may be , if l ! she is surrounded wIth wIthsons withsons withsons sons and daughters she c can n work workher workher workher her way through to hapmess hapiness . Nature Na- Na Nature Na Nature - ture has made women that way , nomatter no nomatter nomatter matter how much economic economJC inde mde- mde inde- independence independence mdependence - pendence , divorce , birth control controlseem controlseem controlseem seem to free her , they are lnly only lnlyfresh onlyfresh ( onlyfresh fresh chains chams holding holdmg her from what whatis whatis whatis is real ; the love , the care , the glory gloryof gloryof gloryof of her children chlldren childrenKate chlldrenKate childrenKate Kate , whose letter I 1 am answer answer- answering answermg answering - ing mg , is richly nchly blessed in 10 tour four who whoarc whoare whoare arc are "all all " darlings darlmgs , " and lnd : secondarlly secondarily secondarllyfortunate secondarilyfortunate secondarilyfortunate fortunate in 10 that her income mcomc , while whilemodest whilemodest whilemodest modest for a city woman womnn with four fourchJldren fourchildren fourchildren chJldren children , is ample on a farm , andis and andis andis is in her own hands She can gostraight go gostrmght gostraight strmght straight ahead , knowing that the thedrmk10g thedrinking thedrinking drmk10g drinking and gambling gamblmg propensItIes propensitiesof of her w unfortunate ortunate mate won't wont ' rum ruin rumher ruinher ruinher her home , as they have ruined rwned so somany somany somany many homes . The momentary sense of at reliefshe relief reliefshe reliefshe she would gain galO when shameless old oldI oldJudd oldJudd oldJudd Judd was finally ousted would not notcompensate notcompensate notcompensate I compensate her for all the wretched wretchedI wretchedcompllcatlons wretchedcomplications wretchedcomplications I compllcatlons complications and humiliations humlhatlons and andpm andpm andpin pm pricks that inevitably inevJtably follow followsuch followsuch followsuch such a step The moment any wifetakes w wife wifetakes e etakes takes it she commits herself to a apolIcy apolicy apolicy polIcy of self sel ! justification JustIficatlon , she can't cant can'tallow can'tallow can'tallow cantallow ' allow any ncighboi nelghbOl neighboi . , nor even his hischlldren hischildren hischildren chlldren children to hint hmt that there was any anygood anygood anygood good in m Judd . No , Judd was im- im hn- hn impossible hnpossible im impossible - possible . Impossible he was to re remain re . . main . . When young Judd says says'Member saysMember , U " 'l.iember l.iember liember U'l.iember 'Member Member ' . the Christmas Chnstmas when we wewere wewere wewere were all sick and daddy carried us usdownstaIrs usdownstairs usdownstairs downstaIrs to see the tree ? " she |