OCR Text |
Show .8 8 . 1M 1M3h o oh1in4 : 3h h1in4 cJU cibott cibottApache's , { ct ctApache's ( Apache's Apaches ' Going SISSY Sissy.CANTA SissyCANTA . SANTA S ANTA MONICA , CALIF CALIFA CALIF.l- CALIF.l CALIF.lA . - ' -A A - AmIssIonary A missionary on an An- An Ari- Ari Anzona Arizona Ari Arizona - I AnI zona reservation says the theApache theApache theApache I theI Apache , once the fiercest of the theI thetnbesmen thetribesmen thetribesmen I tnbesmen tribesmen , is going plum ' sissyand SISSY , and andwhen when a movie companytook company companytook companytook I companyI took tooka a group of Indian cvtrason e.tras etras c\tras c tras e.trason ctrason . \ on location these original ongInal ongInalAmerIcans originalAmericans originalI I I ongInalI originalI Americans , being stripped stnpped foraction for foraction foraction ofI action , got terrible cases ofsunburn ofsunburn of I of'sunburn ' 'sunburn sunburn sunburn They'd Theyd ' , worn . orn clothes clothesso so long their tender sh.InS shInS skins sh.InScouldn't skinscouldn't skinscouldn't skinscouldnt . couldn't couldnt ' stand the heatThere's heatThere's heat heatThere's There's Theres ' a lesson here , although althoughso , so far as the victim is concerned concernedit's concernedits , it's its ' probably too late lateto lateto lateto to do anything anythmg about aboutIt ? 5it + " It Once we'd wed ' backed backedthe % 4the the noble red man mans f f.into " /.into .into / . into a pair of $3t $3pants $3 3 $ } s f"pants fpants " Imto pants we had him , . t fj1pants tamed Sitting SIttmg Bull $3fj1 | - fj1 f.t ft ; 14in 14 I Im , in m v/ar v ar war / bonnet andM and | < M , . buckskins buckskms , was aH asplendid a i isplendid t t'p H 'p p ' " ' wi . I IsplendId splendid s savage a vag e , : ! I Ibut but , vlearmg wearing over- over overalls - 13lls over13lls alls tUWFshirt and a hIckory hickoryshirt tUWF shirt , he became becameW becamejust NA NAJ NAJust W J hand Cobbhand just a brunette farmIrvm farmIrvin farm Irvm Irvin j g S . Cobb The derby hat may be the home- home homellest homebest home-Lost home Lost - llest best creation ever devised for hu human hu- hu human human - - man use , but it's its ' the crowning crownmg tri triumph tri- tri triumph triumph - umph of civilization clv1hzatIon , and the mostpacifying most mostpac mostpacifying pac pacifying ymg tor for alien folks as wit Wlt- Wlt wit- witness WltI Wltness witness - I ness Hailc Halle Haile Selassie Selassle , looking lookmg nowrather now nowrather nowrather rather like a Fihpmo FIlIpmo Filipino bellhop on hisSunday hIs hIsSunday hisSunday Sunday offHumans ofT off . . . IIumans Humans Becoming Becommg : ' BIonkey-Like BIonkey Like I'Ilonkey-Llhe I'Ilonkey IIlonkey Llhe Monkey-Like Monkey - - . A professor of psychology ad- ad advances advances ad advances - vances the thought that mankind mankmd , 10 in 10ages inages inages ages to come , may be headed for forthe forthe forthe the all fours posture which once the thespecIes thespecies thespecies specIes did use-If use If use - - if you accept the theevolutIonary theevolutionary theevolutionary evolutIonary theory , which most of ofus ofus ofus us do , because we like to think thmk ofsome of ofsome ofsome some people we know as having havmg hadmonkey had hadmonkey hadmonkey monkey like l1ke creatures for ancestorsWe ancestors ancestorsWe ancestorsWe We say to ourselves , the poor thingsaren't thingsarent thmgs things thmgsaren't thingsaren't aren't arent ' entirely over it yet yetBut yetBut yetBut But the learned gentleman who'strying whostrying who's whos who'strymg who'strying ' trymg trying to lift lilt the veil of the future futureoverlooks futureoverlooks futureoverlooks overlooks the lessons of the present presentHe presentHe presentHe He should study New York and andNewport andNewport andNewport Newport society when Iuropean European Iuropeanroyalty Europeanroyalty : Europeanroyalty royalty is in 10 our midst . . . Denouncing Denouncmg the Baby Derby . When Prime Minister lVImlster Hepburn de- de denounced denounced de denounced - - nounced Toronto's Torontos ' so called baby babyderby babyderby babyderby derby as "the the " most revolting revoltmg , dis disgusting dlS- dlS dis- dis dlSgustmg disgusting - - gusting gustmg exhibition ever put on in m acivilized a acIvIlIzed acivilized cIvIlIzed country " a lot of us gavethree gave gavethree gavethree three loud , ringing rmgmg cheers cheersThat cheersThat cheersThat That eccentric Canadian milhon-aire milhon aire mIllIon- mIllIon mIllIonaJre millionaire - aJre aire , who left leU his fortune for a con con- contest contest contest - test seemingly seemmgly devised to prove that thatthe thatthe thatthe the human species has a strain stram ot of otPotomac ofPotomac ofPotomac Potomac shad in m it , unmtentIonally unintentionally unintentionallycame unmtentIonallycame came near to making cheap and andsordId andsordid andsordid sordId the loveliest lovehest thing thll1g on trus this trusearth thisearth thisearth earth , which wrucb is motherhood motherhoodTo To see families famIl1es engaged in m a race raceto raceto raceto to bring brmg babies and yet more ba- ba babies babies ba babies - - bies into mto the world , merely on thehope the thehop thehope hop hope of gettmg getting paid for it , to realizethe reallze realize reallzethe realizethe the certainty certamty of vulgar squabblingover squabblmg squabbling squabblmgover squabblingover over the prize , to know that inevita mevita- mevita inevitably mevitably mevitably - - bly lawsuits lawswts will absorb most ofthe ot of otthe ofthe the money money-well money well - well , there are manywho many manywho . who oppose birth control But de- de deliberately deliberately de deliberately - liberately fostered birth uncontrol uncontrolmay uncontrolmay uncontrolmay may have its drawbacks , eh , what7 what ? * . * . * . The Thc Fate of Big Bolshevists Bolshcvlsts . Here's Heres ' what has happened to the theorlgmal theoriginal theoriginal orlgmal original Bolshevist leaders , the fa- fa fathers fa fathers - . thers of ot the Soviet setupTrotsky setupTrotsky setup setupTrotsky Trotsky , m 10 in e"C eC exile e'eile eeile " ' e and due to stay staythere staythere staythere there it If be he values his lus health ; Kam-eneff Kam eneff Kam Kam- Kam Kameneff - - . eneff , exiled e"Clled eClled " , recalled , executed lastAugust last lastAugust August , Zmovieff Zmov1eff Zinovieff , executed e"Cecuted eCecuted " , Rykoffdemoted Rykoff , . demoted , arrested and trial trtalImpend- trtalImpend trtalImpendlng impend impending - . . ing lng tag , hence regarded as bad insur msur- msur insurance msurance msurance - ance risk , Radek in the same fixand fix fixI fixand fixand I and said to be worried , and I II Iwouldn't Iwouldn't Iwouldn't Iwouldnt I wouldn't wouldnt ' blame him , Tomsky , com c.om- c.om com- - c.omI c.ommItted committed . committed - mitted suicide swc1de to avoid somethmg something somethmgeven somethingeven somethingeven I even more unpleasant , . Kiron Klroff Kiroff , as- as assassma assassinated as assassinated - sassma sassinated ted ; Mikoyan M1koyan , got out in m tIme tImeand timeand timeand and stayed out , Bukharm Bukharin , , tmder under tmderSuspIcIon undersuspicion undersuspicion SuspIcIon an and , arrest 1tnpendIng impending impendingodds , odds against agamst , 9 to 5 , Evdokimoff Bvdokimoff Evdokimofr , e"C- e"C eC e'c- e'c e"Cecuted e'cecuted ex executed " ' - - ecuted ; Smimoff SmIrnoff , executed c"Cecuted cCecuted " , Lenm Lenin Lenindied , dIed a natural death , but then Leninalways Lenm Lenin Lenmalways Leninalways always was different ; Stalin , Bub-nofl Bub nofl Bub- Bub Bubnoff Bubnoff - - noff and 3nd Krylenko , all 311 going gomg strongbut strong , but you never can tell tell , , so woulddo would wouldI woulddo woulddo I do well wcll not to play too far in ill ad- ad adWar adI advance - ' vance . I War Vs . Preparedness . As one who saw the first few fewmonths fewmonths fewmonths months and the last few months monthsot monthsof monthsof ot of warfare warIare on the Western front front frontI'm frontIm , , I'm Im ' ' like llke nearly every other man or orI orwoman orwoman orwoman I woman who witnessed those things thmgs thingsI thmgs1 -1 1 -I I - I hate war . I IIt's It's Its ' the next ne"lt nelt " : morning mornmg of drunl.cn drunlcn drunken drunl.cnglory drunkenglory drunkenglory . ' stench obscenitya obscenIty , glory . It's Its a , an ! a vain wastefulness , an unutterableindecency unutterable unutterableI unutterableindecency unutterableindecency I indecency . It's Its ' a machine machme whichsucks whIch whIchI whIchsucks whichsucks I sucks in m at the hopper the beautythe beauty , the youth , the hope of the world andspews and andspews andspews spews out from the spout the fin finished fin- fin finIshed finished - broken bodies bodiesbunded , ished product - - - blmded blinded eyes , maddened brains brams ; dead men and dying dymg men and rumedmen ruinedmen ruined rumed ruinedmen men . But because we are 3re against agamst war warand warand warand and because we behove belleve believe the best in- in insurance insurance in insurance - surance for continued contmued peace is prop prop- proper proper proper - er preparedness in times of peace peace.and peaceand . , and because we behold halt half of civili clvih- clvih clvihzation civili- civili civilization civilization - - zation on the edge of ot war again andwonder and and"onder andwonder "onder onder wonder " where they'll theyll ' strike afterthey've aftertheyve after afterthey've afterthey've they've theyve ' torn one another's anothers ' throatswe throats , we do sort of worry to see ourcountry our ourcountry ourcountry country cut down on Its defenses . mvm mVIN IRVIN s . COBB . _ gVNU -WNU WNU ISWNU Q--vNU Q vNU IS > - g r- r > - - . , \VNU VNU \ . , S < Service S . < rviee rvlCe - . ' " |