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Show whatt what ( bb ' . : tt ) . lP ' thinks t in zs zsabout - .about about . : Stylet Styles In Hair Tints Tants . I'ANTA IANTA ' ANTA MONICA , CALIF CALIFThere's CALIFThere's CALIF.ij CALIFij . SANTA -There's There's Theres - There's Theres ' more morc ne\vs ne vs news \ \ con con- concerning concerning concerning - cerning the mummified remains remainsof remainsof of that lovely Egyptian prin prm- prm prin- prmcess princess princess - cess they found the other daythat daythat day -that that - that daughter of some earlyPharaoh early earlyPharaoh earlyPharaoh Pharaoh , she who died nearly nearlyG,000 nearly5,000 nearly5000 G,000 G000 , ooo , years ears e Jrs < ago and y set et \ v\as v as was \ as still so sobeautIfully sobeautifully sobeautifully beautIfully preserved Too bad that thatold thatold thatold old recipe of the Pharaoh famny family famnywas familywas familywas was lost . . They did make maho such good goodpreserves goodpreserves goodpreserves goodpreservesThe preserves preservesThe The la last < ; t \ word ord is that th'1t th1t th'it thit ' ' the lIttle lIttlelady littlelady littleladys lady s hair . was v.J.S vJ.S vJS . dvcd dyed d ed a henna color colorEither colorEither colorEither Either that's thats ' nesor newsor news ne\\s ne s newsMor \ or something has hasstImuldted h hasstimulated a s si sstimulated Mor i stImuldted stimulated a sud sudden sude sudden " e ' den change in Hoi Hol 1 , ' MBft \ ! 1 l y woo w o o d fashionsJust fashions fashionsY - c Y is isv \ v Just a little hUle "hUe hUe while "hUei "hUeago " whileV whileVA i ; / , 9 A :6 6 : ago , n about b 0 u t c\ c every cery everyV \ ery eryo ' potentiali ' V J Jo o other the t h e r potential potential- potential potentiali i , A 't t ' - 'tmovie i movie queen yousaw y you o u uyRrv yRrv yRrvsaw ) saw was going In Infor Infor { for the platinum platinumeffect platinumeffect platinumeffect effect ; and only too toofrequently toofrequently tooi frequently , a alas I 1 a s , Cobbthe the effect v " was as that thatof thatof thatof Irvin S . Cobb of a new tin Un roofon roofon roof roofon on a vacant attic . Now , by the great gross , the st st31 st31ish stvlish l lIsh Ish ones are going red , reddish or orredder orredder orredder redder Today Tod'lY TodlY ' , , , within Ithln half a mile mileI , I counted ten redheads , and not a av awhite awhite v . white hlte hor hor&e hore horse & e in sight slgbt , to prove the theanCIent theancient theancient anCIent saving saying sa Ing . * . . . * Waning Presidential Booms BoomsWIlAT BoomsHAT BoomsTXT'HAT BoomsTXTHAT WIlAT ' HAT with cyclones cyclone and floods floodsdown HoodsW oods oodsdown down south , the daily dallv dally press presssomehow presssomehow presssomehow somehow failed falted to record among our oursprmg ourspring ourspring sprmg spring casualties c'1.sualtIes c1.sualtIes c1sualtIes c'isualties cisualties ' . ' the untimely end endof endof endof of the Governor Talmadge boom boomPoor boomPoor boomPoor Poor little thing thmg , it passed away a"ay aay " at atIts atits atIts Its home In Atlanta . , Ga , , just as it itwas itwas itwas was learning Jearnlng , In prattling accent accents accentsto accentto to lisp Usp 'pa pa ' pa pa " Still the shock did not catch some someof someof someof of us unawares nn'l"ares nnlares ' " We had a feelIng feelingIt it itasn't \ wasn't wasnt \\asn't asn't asnt ' going gomg to live The second secondsummer secondsummer secondsummer summer is so frequently fatal to tothose tothose tothose those incubator babiesror babiesror babies babiesFor For ror instance , you yon ou take the Ham HamI I Ish boom Or if you didn't didnt ' take tahe It it itsomebody , , somebody certainly did . , because It Ithasn't ithasn't Ithasn't Ithasnt hasn't hasnt ' been seen , or even heard of offor offor offor for months and months montbs * . * . * . Gridiron Club Dinners DinnersEXCLPT DinnersCCEPT DinnersTpXCEPT EXCLPT CCEPT the obituary column , nothing nothmg could be sadder s'1dder s1dder ' th'ln thln thin th'lnthe thinthe thanthe ' the ne newspaper " spaper account of a grldh gridiron gridironclub gndlionclub 011 011club club dinnei dlnnel dinner Yet gridiron gwlIron club flln din fllnneiS dinnews dinneis neiS news aim to be satirically s'1.thlc'1.lh s1thlc1.lh s1thlc1lh ' . ' . 'lmusIng lmusIng 'amusing amusing 'lmusIngand 'amusingand ' ' amusingand and frequently frequentl meTurnmg ateTurning aie me ate aieTurning Turning Turnmg them out must be a tre tremendousl tremendously tremendouslv mendousl mendously hard job because thev they thevdeal theydeal thevdeal deal \ with lth the national polItical polIticalscene politicalscene politicalscone scene , ' ' and 1nd 'and anv am any producci producel produces of fm fasces fasceswill faiceswill ces ceswIH wIH will tell teB you vou ou vou you ou can cant t burlesque a aburlesque aburlesque aburlesque burlesque In other " word's words ordc : ' , you can't cant can'tbe ( , can'tbe cantbe 'In't Int 'In'tbe ' ' be \ very cry ery funny on a subject subJcct which al already already already ready Is so much funnier funmer than any anything nn anvthing tlung thing you can C'ln Cln ' think of-'lnd of 'lnd lnd of-'and 'and and of - ' ' and th'1t'8 th1t8 that's thats th'1t'8V.ll1t that'swhit that'swhat thatswhat ' ' V.ll1t Vll1t whit . the fellows at Washington Wa'3hlngton Wa3hlngton ' are areup areup arcup up against ag'1Inst ag1Inst ' againstThis ag'1InstThis This business of trying trymg to be com corn comIc cornis cornIc Ic is is a seiious sellous serious business busmess anvwav anyway an " a , , es especmlly especially especially pecmlly pecially since all comedy is pi piedi piedicited picdicated edi edic'1.ted c'1.ted c1.ted c1ted cited ' . on distress A fat man m'1n m1n ' fall fallIng falling falling Ing do\\ do down don \ n makes mal\es mal es \ us laugh bec'lUce beclUce beciuse bec'lUcehe beciusehe becausehe ' : ; he suffers sulTers both in spirit spmt and flesh fleshBut fleshBut fleshBut But if he is a pallbearer p'lllbe'lrer plllbelrer ' ' , sa say say , ' at 1t a afunelal afuneral afuneial funelal funeral and falls f'111s f111s fills ' do\\ do down don \ n on his Jus 0\\ 0 0n own 0high ownhigh ownhigh \ n high hat h'1t h1t ' and m'l ml maybe ' be breals breal bre'll brell ' s up the thesen theserviceswell theservices services-well services well sen Ices-\\ Ices Icesell - \ well ell , now then , you've youve ' got gotsometIl1ng gotsomething gotsomething sometIl1ng something that's thats ' really funny . A definition dltimtIon of comed comedy , could be beTragedy be'Tragedy beTragedy ' . Tragedy standing st'lndlng stlndlng ' on its head with withits \ withits \ Ith Ithits its pants pant'3 pant3 ' torn * . . * * . Self Chosen Landon Aids Aids.r Aidsr . G GOYLHNOR GOVLItNOR OVLRNOR OYLHNOR OVLItNOR LANDO\ LANDO LANDON LANDOmust \ must feel feelawfullv feelawfully feelv- feelv feelvawfullv - awfullv awfully fractional fr'lct1on'1.1 frlct1on1.1 frlct1on11 ' ' . to not S'1\ S'1 S1 say saybadly S'1badlv savbadiv ' \ badlv badly sC'1.tteredh'lt scattered sC'1.ttered sC1.ttered sC1ttered ' . , what \\h'lt h'lt hlt whit \ h'ltlth ' \ with \\lth lth belDg being belDgle1ed beinge beinglevied le\1ed le 1ed ] e \ ied on bv by " ' so 0 many ninny compar'lt1\ compar'lt1 comparlt1 compar'lt1e comparatne comparatnestrangers compar'lt1sh'lnger5 comparativesti ' \ e sh'lnger5 shlnger5 strangers ' angers all at once Every C.ery Cery . dav d'lV dlV day ' or ortwo ortwo ortwo two , with an altruism rare in this thisselfish thisselfish ' this'I 'I I selfish age , some b'lll blll feallant gallant ' J.nt Jnt J.nt"olunteer < . \"olunteer "olunteer olunteer volunteer "olunteereffects volunteereffects \ ' " volunteereffects effects himself by a at acclamation c1am'lton c1amlton clamation ' ! astbe asthe ns as nsthe -the the - tbe the gO\ gO governors gOernor \ ernor s eastern e'lstern elstern ' manager m'1n'1ger m1n1ger ' ' or orhis orhis orhis his \ western estern manager m'1nager m1nager ' , or his north northv northw northwestern v w . estern by soutb\\ soutb sou southwestern soutbestern thw \ estern manager or orsomethIng orsomething orsomething somethIng It makes mal\es mal es \ no dIfference dIfferencethat differencethat differencethat that he may never ha\ ha have hae \ e heard beard of ofthese ofthese ofthese these parties before ; up to sivmonths sh siv sl\months sl months . \ months ago , they'd theyd ' never neter heard of ofhim ofhim ofhim him either . He s ! like ll\e ll e \ a previously neglected neglectedorphan neglectedorphan neglectedorphan orphan child cluld who suddenly comes comesinto comesinto Into prospects and finds e\ e eerybody everybody everybodyIn \ erybody erybodyIn In town tr trying Ing to adopt him May M'1Y- M'1Y M1Y May- M'1Ybe Maybe Maybe ' - be a better simile slmUe would be that of ofa ofa ofa a lone thanksgiving lhanksgiving 1 h'lnl\sgh h'lnl hlnl sgh ' \ Ing turkey turhey at a ta to tableful tobleful tableful bleful of hungry hunry . ; boarders with this thisone thisone thisone one snatching the thc drumstick and andth'lt andthat andthat th'lt thlt that ' one grabbing gr'lbblng grlbblng ' the second scC'ond scCond ' jolnt- jolnt joint- joint jolntand jointand joint jointand - and Mr W R n Hcarst Hearst cllnglngIth clinging cllnglng- cllnglng - , with \ witha Ith a grip of Iron , to the wishbone wishboneFolly . . * . * Folly of a Parole System . THE T "PHE PHE " kidnapL HE perpetintors perpetlators perpetrators of the 1.IdnapIng kidnaplug . kidnap 1.Idnap 1Idnap -L L - ing lug case cuse of a few months ago up upin upIn upIn in the state of Washington were wereboth wereboth wereboth both chi chionic chronic onic offenders olIenders who wbo , despite despitetbclr despitetheir despitetheir tbclr their recordb record records : . , had been paroledThe p paroled paroledThe rolcd rolcdThe The fiend who recently recent1 committed committedthe committedthe committedthe the most hideous child murder that thatCalifornIa thatCalifornia thatCalifornia CalifornIa has hno known " n In years , cars was wasa \ wasa as asa a convict out on parole p'lrole plrole ' The degen degenerate degencrate degencrate erate crate \ who 110 has just confe confessed sed to tomurdering tomurdering tomurdering murdering that poor defenseless gen gentIe gentlewoman genticwoluan tIe\\ tIe tIeOIU'ln tlewoman \ \ OIU'ln OIUln ' in New York Yorl " tlie the other otherday otherday otherday day "as- "as as "ases was-yes was yes " was - ics es , youwe vou ou.ve ouve . ve guessed t- t It- It the Ithe ! it-he it he - he \ was \ as a com convict Ict on paiole 1'1l01e 11l01e parole paroleAnd 1'1l01eAnd } paioleAnd ' And all nil 0\ 0 over 0er \ er the Union the work workof \ workof orh orhof of turnInB turning t\lrnln t lrnln \ . ; loo loobe loose e criminals \ who ho h'1ve h1ve have h'1venot havenot havenot ' not completed their thdr terms term , of punish punishment punishmeat punishment haidlyhive ment meat , Imlee indeed , in some cases h'1I h1I haidly haidl haidlhave ' dl h'1\ h'1 h1 have h'1e hive ' \ e begun them . , goes go's gos ( ' merrily IDcrrIIv onIRVIN onIRVIN on onIRVIN IRVIN S COBB COBBCopTlght COBBCopiightw COBBCopyrlcht CopTlght Copiight-w Copiight w ) , - WNU NU Scrvico ServlC SCrvIc J > |