OCR Text |
Show McGoofey's McGoofeys c oo e ' s First ins insa insr R.eader Reader . a r 'r r " ' ' CllltedEclectic Acw6D4DeuEclectic l'oewapllpera loewapllpera Acw6D4Deu Primerl'oewapllpera ' AII daeoclnted daeoclntedAcw6D4Deu Clllted ! > Eclectic PrimerEdri'ed Primer Primerh h EdJled Edri'ed Edried ' hy by H , I h , PHILLIPS . II IIci ci : ; ( L'k4 Lk4 : ' , ii ; _ ' * - r1J 'Cr Cr 'Cre ' e ' t llkI - - ; / 1 / + ou 1I . . I t t.En ' - -.En .En - .c c ; ; : ? , n - - \ \ THE STORY OF HILDA1Hilda HILDA I-Hlld'l I Hlld'l Hlldl 1-Hilda 1 Hilda 1 - Hilda ' calne dlne came from an old New NewDngland NewEngland NewEngland Dngland England family , . 2-Her 2 Her 2 - Her ancestors \ were ere all Puri Puri- Purl- Purl Puritans Purltans Puritans - tans3There tans 3-There 3 There 3 - There ' \ wasn't wasnt \ nsn't nsnt ' an Immodest or orbl7arre orbizarre orbizarre bl7arre bizarre note in a carload4She carload4She carload 4-She 4 She - 4 - She was raised In one of ot those thosesheltered thosesheltered thosesheltered sheltered homes where long red redflannel redflannel redflannel flannel petticoats are still consid consid- considered considered considered - - ered s\\ s swelllgant sellIgant ' \ ellIgant and nnd where the Ute wom wom- women women women - en folk foll . still stlll go in for the bustle in ina ina ina a big ' " way ay . . 5-Her 5 Her - 5 - Her parents pnrents made her go goaround goaround goaround around with her hilr h1ir hair down ber her berback herback herback back until she was sixteen years yearsold yearsold yearsold old They thought it was cuteGShe cute6She cute cuteC G-She G She 6--She 6 - C - - She went through school with withher withher withher her skirts s1.irtq s1irtq . down to her ankles anhles , wore woreheavy woreheavy woreheavy heavy cotton hose and slept In Inwoolen Inwoolen woolen ' \ oolen nighties7Her nighties7Her nighties 7-Her 7 Her 7 - Her folks fol1.s fol1s . said she was the thepIcture thepicture thepicture pIcture of Grandmother Agatha andthey and andthey andthey they wanted her to be like her her.Grandmother herGrandmother . , Grandmother Agatha was a woman womancampalgQer womancampaigner womancampaigner campalgQer campaigner against smoking smohmg , frivol trlvol- trlvol frivol- trlvolIty frivolity frivolity - ity and immodesty In dress She Shethought Shethought Shethought thought a woman \ who ho went in bath bathIng bathlag bathing Ing lag without stockings stocl.mgs stoclmgs . and a straw strawh1t strawhit strawhit h1t hit " was "as as a hussy . 8-When 8 When 8 - When home from school , a11 all a11Hilda allHilda allHilda Hilda heard was long parental hlJ.s hlJs talks talkson hlJ.son tilkson . on the mildenly m'lldenly mlldenly m ' ildenly , virtues Irtues Mode.ty Modety Modesty Modestywas Mode&tywas Modetywas & : . was " , as especially emphasl'ed9She emphasised9She emphasl/ed emphasl ed emphasl'ed emphasled emphasised . / ' 9-She 9 She - 9 - She wasn't wasnt w ' \ ' isn't isnt 'lsn't lsnt ' aIlo\\ aIlo allowed aIlocd \ cd to go to tothe tothe tothe the pictures and never went to a abathIng abathing abathing bathIng beich iJe'lch iJelch beach ' unchaperoned Shewas She Shewas Shewas was told that the modern modE'rn ' bathwg bathing bathwgglrl bathinggirl bathinggirl glrl girl was scindalous SC'1ndalous SC1ndalous scandalous ' . . . lo-It lo It 10-It 10 10 - - It ' " was as pretty toughllUltlm'ltely tough11Ultimately tough ll-Ultlm'ltely ll Ultlm'ltely Ultlmltely 11-Ultimately 11 Ultimately 11 - Ultimitely ' Hilda re\ re reolted resolted resoltedShe revoltedShe \ olted oltedSile Sile She ran mn away to the city12When city12When city 12-When 12 When 12 - When her parents ne\t ne t neet ne \ : t he'lrd helrd heard he'lrdfrom heardfrom beirdfrom ' from her she was doing very Dlcely nicely Dlcelyin nicelyin nicelyin in a chosen career . U IJ-She IJ She 1S-She 1S - Slie hid h'1d h1d ' become a designer designerof of smirt smut one-piece one piece one-plcce plcce - - bathing suits for foryoung foryoung foryoung young \ women omen and nnd chairlidy chaIrhdy chain'ady chainady ' of a anudity anudity anudity nudity liltMOnA cultMORALYou < : cult lilt cultMORAL MOnA MORAL-You MORAL You MORAL - You cm C'ln Cln can ' over eml1ha empha eml1hasize emphasize emphasize size an any anything thIng * . * . * . GENERAL TEST TESTTall INFORMATIONTEST INFORMATIONTESTFill INFORMATION Fill rIll Tall In the blan blank ! . spaces with wlth th9 the th9proper theproper thpproper proper v . wordThe word ord " . The lirge&t lirget l'lrge.t llrge.t llrget largest ' & : . river in the United UnitedSt'1tes UnitedStites UnitedStites St'1tes St1tes Stites ' Is the . . . . . . . . . . . The cipltal C'lpltal Clpltal capital ' of new Yor York ! . is . . . . . . . .There There . There are.davs aredavs are---days are days . - are . . . . . . . . . .das das . ; ) in a week . . The first name of Jolson , the thecomedian thecomedian thecomedian comedian , is . . , . . . . . . Is lx ] ] ; : x Kaiser Wilhelm was former formerruler formerruler formerruler ruler of ot . . . . . . . . . . . The last name of an actor whose whosefirst whosefirst whosefirst first name Is Charlie and " who "ho ho Is Isfamed isfamed Isfamed famed for his custard pic pIe tniow- tniow thlOW- thlOW thiow- thiow thlOWing thiowlag tniowing - - ing lag Is . . . . . . . . . . * . . s * . sPuppies PuppiesThe PuppiesThe Puppies PuppiesThe The puppy Is a lovely pet , A face fact quite widely known knownBut , But I would lather rather have one wbenIt whenIt when wben whenIt It gets more fully grown . . * . * . i * . iThis - - . _ _ | This is Amzr Ambrose Am AmT ' -zr zr ; ' d ( T j brose He looksk looksa loohs looks loohsprettv a o 4 \ prettv pretty wornDIdn't wornc0 worn c0 ' ? ( Didn't Didnt ' Ambrose Am AmI 6 brose a always alwaysa I w n y s sloo a 4 4look loo look ! . like lihe that thatNo ? I No He IIe wasIn wask was k In vcr very y good goodshape goodshape goodA\ goodA goodAshape \ shape last summer summer sum ; mer mer.g merg . , t s 'a a ' Has Ambrose Ambroselost Ambroselost Ambrosei , lost weight or orsumpin orsumpln orsumpin sumpin sumpln ? He must have dropped 50 pounds poundssince poundssince poundssince since falLWhat fall falL falLWhat . What caused Ambrose to drop somuch so somuch somuch much weight ? Leaves LeavesWhat What kind of leases lea1es7 lea1es7Tree ? Tree 1eavesWhat leavesWhat leaves 1eaves leavesWhat What have tree leaves got to do dowith dowith dowith with Ambrose's Ambroses ' dropping weight ? If you lived Jived in the suburbs you youwouldn't youwouldn't youwouldn't youwouldnt wouldn't wouldnt ' asI ask such silly s1l1y questionsAgain questionsAgain questions questionsAgain Again I ask you , what have tr.ee tree tr.eeleaves treeleaves treeleaves . leaves got to do . with v.lth vlth a loss of ofweight ofweight ofweight weight by Ambrose ? Ambrose has one of those lIttle lIttlebomes littlehomes littlehomes bomes homes with lots of nice big trees treesaU treesall treesall aU all around arouDd the place placeWhit placeWh'lt placeWhat Whit Wh'lt Whlt What ' of it ? Well , In the . fill f1.11 f111 they begin shed shed- shedding shedding . - ding ' , If It you know hnow what I 1 mean . Shedding ' \ what hat ? Shedding their summer garments garmentsLea garmentsLeases garmentsLeaves ( Lea Leases \ es , to . vou .ou ou you , you big stupid ! ) ! ) What of It ? Ambrose , being conscIentious conscIentiousabout conscientiousabout conscientiousabout about keeping leeplng the premises nIce nIcennd niceand niceand nnd and neat , has to rake rahe them up . How often ? . About once a dny day , but it seems seemsl1ke seemslike seemslike l1ke like every fifteen flfteen minutes . . . Is this a hard job ? Try It and be conTlnced convInced . . Am Am- Ambrose Ambrose . - brose no sooner rakes 'cm cm 'em em ' all op up burns themburns Inburns and plies piles themkit them In tlot kit andgrounds groundspiles them , th thIn than an lliP.LL lliPLL the . lliP.LLgroun .7 7 < . groun grounds s are aU all costAin't ' tort cost s Ain't Aint natures nature naturetort naturegr grand gr & dt ? N No 0 , yoU yon dtyon Idiot ldlotl I , - ' ' eji ejiNo . " CURIOUS ti0yCURIOUS CURIOUSCU FAct fi > ti0y ! CU CURIOUS RIOUS PE PETh - The Th e most frequeall frequentlytlon trequentll frequeallf f f tion In Americaf AmericaI Americat9 America Li t9 ot - I In n British OUlan Gul ; : Guiana na 0 o 0treatments ber her oher feebcrwhodoe who does Dot not E1J Fpe'ti Fpeti , ' ; jtreatments Fpe'titreatments treatments . . , Amerisaseat The natlrc native AInert AInertea Affltrioig Amerisas tau ! veat e eNine ea eat t hay or oatstau oatg oats i e eNine iNine Nine out of to ten ? Ied- Ied Iedeners lei IMJ-.SIeners IMJ.SIeners IMJ .SIeners SIeners ! - : - , , . n neners eners orderA are out of orta order ore : ' . | - preretric A good ftay "oy oy way " to pitrE prere pr : itrie trlc tric fan from bloWl blowiEjofT bioaaloff bioaal , off your desk Is to is isupside I ' upside donBay dossnHay down do\\n do n dossn downHay \ \ Hay Bay fever fe'er feer feser ' cannot cannCit l b ! sleeping firJ in a field fieldfup fieldfupl fieldfupFranklin full fir < l ( Iiwjg.die Iiwjgdie ydIe J < Franklin "ranh.lln ranh.lln ranhlln " . Delico Delano n Irv . y dIe name Is Jg Dclanoi Delano DclanoiA . , A blotter will wlll mJke Dukes mjttnporous II .c c 'c c 'cporous . ' .cporous porous plaster If loo 011 t cside side ss " with lth ith paste aD aid D ( ] I ivy ' ivyback back bnc.h bnch . backB"bgy B"bgy Bbgy Bubgy " wlilp whip malnD m3llD makin ; . b It bhC'tly Ithens hhenily hC't\ly hC't hCt ly hens ' \ Ily ! In the past tit tro troSi tut * . Si Sie SiWHAT'S . i iWHAT'S e WHA WHAT'S WHATS T'5 T5 ' WRONG WRO\G WRO G WROICi \ r rTHESE rTHESE ' THESE SENTEhC SENmc SENIE SENIEThe : : The young girl at titresort tlt dt tltresort dtresort resort reru refused ed to uxetl uxetlman & ( { man when she beacdlei beacdleiDon't heard tk leb lebDon't tkDon't ( Don't Dont ' mention ttt tht the t r ; rthe rthe the radio announcer.13 announcer13 announcer.13ed aimounar announcer n ned , . raed ed 'Just Just ' gtTe give em es ( niltefr niltefr'Pirdon tte iley iley'Pardon p- p . - pI pP1rdon I ' 'Pirdon Pirdon P1rdon 'Pardon Pardon Pardoncaterea me1ld menyid men me " ' ' \ old \1ld 1ld yid U Udrher udriver Udriver drher driver , after bl bin b ! eft ( " a k t tstruck kstruch tstruck struch struck byPardon by a cardM carel-(1 carel (1 1 caterea ( - cA r nt : ( , . ntThe . The man ftho "ho ho who " had bad hliin.1.never hliin1.never hliin1never ni ninever ft . ' . never go loto Into tb thi the r.J rJ rid ridagain rjdagain . again never nefer ient \ tttntIcHll ent Icl idol idoleser k ! ; . "Is Is " 1\ 1 \ 1e \eser eser e\ e ever eer \ er mind tho the th * 1 s : csgrim gr'1m gr1m grim gr'1mn gr'1msmd ' n " said smd the tbe nd niloL.vvint niloLvvint 0 o ii ! . . . w \ 'ln ln ant ' t to heir he'lr helr hear ' Is thtiEi thtiEiIne the 21 t tThe : Ine The 1 ' h < . > spcchli1 spechl1 speclah : t ! M Mtover loo late lateover i ! iover < tover over an and did notmo.al not racmoval mo.al moal moval . of or tcnsils tcnslb tcnsiL . . t tThe The American fO ro TOtfccast If u f r fcast rcast cast his IllS billot b1J10t ballot utllheL utllheLall until DOtll ht I ? I- I - Iall l-all l all - all the issues IcCues : ) caretoDlI carefODfu carefODfuthe carenlt'the carenltthe ( ] ? ' ' the speeches spceche ; , of ea e3 1) 1 b Ii ) 0The ciThe o- o 0- 0 ci . - oThe - The buslne business man maxi maxied miMiS1ed : t > ed d by the office WI'h WIh boyrh boj boy rh ' ' ' In to demand a mtac mtachours rabi raL-t raL t - I : chours hours , smiled 'beerl beerl cheedUn cheedUnboth ( ' chetriIJ0both both requests at oC'tThe orraThe oct oC't orra ' Otboth The commuter malll saki malllround sakiround nai"round nairound " Ot round trip In a sio sxo sso : ; ? out asJ.in asJin asking . onybodytoF anybodytola anybodytolaa anybody to f , a . a . . ' f ALL ABOUT EI f fEmil - Emil was seas born of tt h'i hi ! il ilservatlve ' < servatlve ser'fatle serfatle servative ' , people . . . You could go hug thfo : ; ! 1 thW ithO.i ithOi . e ec eP history f'lmHy flmHy family ' had bid bido r P ' who n a man ing nb nbn cautIon c aAaatlOn to t0 thll tin o mnd5- mnd5 dadL mnd5t mnd5His - t wa3 svai a rwatchman r . u uwatchmln uHis father His S t watchmln watchman on an sn road roadas roadHis His aHis mother was w wf wmovement as a pP pPmovement to :1t 1t ci : f movement s sthrough throu'h throuh through " ' the DO no e cc a1 a1Rashness = ) " Ilt % Rahness Rashness ; 'l\'a 'l l 'a a way ' \ a 9 9in in the family t ) tJmll ' o.I oI . o.ICore a DO no notone Jmll Emil ; s tOIAS foln9 but bit biteditorial leaped Core tone they leap editorial advice Crt ft ftcb11d ' pers persair As lieAs a chIld cb11d he lie 1I'a5 1Ia5 vas 1I'a5a ' t . bta air ot of skates a pair sableexcursion excursion excursiononto onto ontollavd , sIble sable sp spvas excursiona a alIe alIeI alIesled llavd llavdHe I He was never nevert neverbecause of th uh uhsled t I becanle because : sled sledand rtl 6d rtlr rtleanL r migh might t fall fail ot off offears ! aed and r , eanL ears . . moot t tIn ears.In earsIn In the winter wi II1 j him ! IndOOrs ndoors ndoorsde f r fThey rThey hept kept even e4ea wade wadeJ ma de . madod They J dod " \rIC rIC \ th thrIC e a eblS with swath swathMother art rt room blSf f wade made blS bin binw Mother , J l1t Ui5 w \ hen It ! t looked , 't- 't t ' - 'tthe Ve the onlY boy bog bogabed 10 to 10ed if N Nwho abed a ar ed cpaot cpaotn cP9 ; a1t who bo wns WAS WAScP9 1t 1 n \ r n , a aYr withOut r h lo loThey school Yr bin binRio III ! tl1Ught taugbt Rio RioedallJ ro rocbances They hey 0 0chances peclallS peclallS'I edallJ cbances chances , e esP 'I I ' time . . Eodei dei $ Dmll Emil beelIue becam becamb becamcould : a E Eo 6 , could contract contractntl butt buttf ntl : a aforo b as asd d " ; to tossJDD II it ' forgetting foro foroas nettla nettlatO 1 ; ssJDD stdti std , ti ! ticoat t f Pn Pneleil rOr tor rOrBut torBut w \ hUe hile eleilis is coat eleil 11 But be he uItlIIla ultlm t the floe thetIed floethe . . tIed fled the dOlllicile domicile dlda did ! trt f } . , Q " fledThe tol.8 tol8 foaka foakadlda ) . th tin tinfrom The forlpn # lont lpn I Ifrom icii iciiThen from hlJ1 him [ for or ortbll tbll tu1 tbllr r ch chThen bY chance chancet chaa t : Fr Frrae ' le rae ' ! lesee Then II to toctions ! his picture tin oa tinsections oasee see oS oSan ' J In an , se seHe sections lIe He ctions bad becol1 become becomeP ! 0 : ' II P , 8U 8Udaring $ a adaring daring daringskI skI jump jaIII Alps Alpsn _ _ you cao tag tagthing AlpsbioiUr'iyou bioiUr'iyou bioiUriyou IO n ' T ' . thIDg thing . 4 |