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Show what5bb what iviJv 5bbiviJv . tt ) 5bb ( . gbb ( d dabout ? , : , , thinks t tabout about in s : OEVERLY EVERLY HILLS , CALIFIt CALIF CALIFD . BEVERLY B -D D - -It It - It may be old to you , but butIt'S butft's butit's butits It'S ItS ft's fts ' ' ' new out here : Small Prussian town turns turnsfor turnsout turnsout out for traveling circus . Fero Fero- Ferocious Ferocious Ferocious - - cious lion hon escapes ; vIllagers vIllagersflee villagersflee villagersflee flee madly . Sinewy stranger strangergrapples strangergrapples strangergrapples grapples , single-handed single handed slngle-h'mded slngle h'mded hmded - - - ' , , v . with Ith ra rav- rav ravening rav.cning ravcning v . - enlng ening brute ; twists Its Us In jaws WS , barn barnmers barnmers hammcrs mers Ita Its nose , boots It back Into Intocage Intocage Intocage cage . . Entire Untlre community starts f3tnrts jubila jub11a jubilation . tlon-flags tlon flags tion - flags flying hying , binds b'1nds b1nds ' playing , burgomaster put p putsjd u t s son " / S . on his high hat hat.f hatf . , s sspecial \ special train rush rushIng rushj " " ffN BerffN . - i Ing the hero to Ber- Ber Berlln - . ffNs /s s / . . \ lln IIn Tin to be decoV deco decoratel1 , J rated ratel1 by Herr Hit Hitler HitIf % ; Ij f ler Ter as relnC1rna relnc'irna- relnc'irna relncirna ' 'cincarna-I 'cincarna cincarna I relnc'irnaw ' ' - . ? w - 7 "Y/ "Y Y "Ytlon " ' * / f ftion tlon tion of a"cie"t aciet ancient " " r-.or r.or r .or or r.ordlc - . I or ? / MA typia . dlc die demigods "leo leo " s , . , typl typi typleying typifying ? % . tying eying fying spirit of oldGerman old oldGerman , + , / German stocks stochs-all stochs all stocks-all stocks stochsallthat - - allthat that sort of thin thingSuddenly thing thingSuddenly ! ; Suddenly hideous hideousIrvin hideousIrvin hideousIn/in hideousIn in Irvin / S Cobb discovery I1lscovery Is madethat madethat made madethat that s stranger's strangers stranger'sbackground stranger'sbackground strangersbackground t ran e r's rs r'sback ' back background round Is not Teutonic , . the thefamlly thefamily thefamily famlly family name being beln Ginsbcrg Ginsberg Gmsber Cele Cele- Celebration Celebration - bration bratlon called off ofr . , ( flags lags furled urll"d urlld " bands bandssnc'1k bandssneak bandssneak snc'1k snc1k sneak ' home , special train canceled canceledburgomaster , burgomaster has bas apoplexy apopley apopleey " ( . And next day the local paper papercome papercomes papercomes come comes < ; out with scathing article un sin undcr sinder undcr dcr der the headline . , "Jew Jew " Attacks Attachs De-fenselet De fenselet De- De Defense Defenseless - - fenseless fense } ( .S S . : , > s Lion " . . . - - Criminal Lawyers Lawyers.TTT'E'RE Lawyers.TTTERE LawyersTTTERE . . Wu'nE WunE ' E'RE ERE ' ' a funny people Did we weread weread wevv read where In some far off offcountry offcountry offcountry country , men who had access acces < ; tozoo's tozoos to tozoo tozoos zoos zoo ' picked pIthed the locks lochs on the c1 cages cagesand cagesind e 1nd and freed the man eating tigers and andthe andthe andthe the blood thirsty wolves wohes " 01\ 01 01as \ as and the thede'1dllest thedeadliest thedeadliest de'1dllest de1dllest deadliest ' poison pOlson snal snakes e . to go forth forthanl1 forthand forthand anl1 and kill hill a again aln , we'd wed we'c wec ' } marvel manel at a aland aland aland land which endured such a thingBut thingBut thing thingBut But when In our own land crlm trim trimma crlmInal crimInal Inal ma ] lawyers truthfully boast that that.of thatof . , of all a11 the Individuals charged with withdeliberate withdeliberate withdeliberate deliberate murder whom they have havedefended havedefended havedefended defended , , no single one ever went wentto wentto wentto to noose or chair ch'lir chlir ' , and that ever everso everso everso so many more were , by their shill skill skillsaved , sIn saved ed from the prisons where we weare weare weare are supposed to pen our human hum'1n hum1n ' tI tIgers tigers tigers gers and wolves wohes and aod snakes , we wegh wegive wegive gh give e these geniuses our admlr.1hon admlr1hon admiration admlr.1honnnd admirationand admirationand . nnd and much free advertising ad\ertismg ad ertismg adtiertising \ , , nnd and nndyoun andyoung andyoung youn young lawyers crave cr1ve crive to follow followin followin followla in their illustrious footprmtsWe footprintsWe footprints footprmts footprintsWe We are indeed a funny people- people people peopleso - so funny It Its s hard to decide wheth whether whether whether er we should laugh at ourselves ourselves- ourselvesor - or weep weepHusbands * . v . . Husbands and Wives . BOTS LOTS OTS of matrimony in the newc news newsnow : , , now that marrlqge marrlgge , Instead insteal1 of ofbeIng ofbeing ofbeing beIng a contract , is a mnetv Dloet ninety ; } day d1Y op optlOn option option optionA tlOn tion tlOnA tionA A gentleman who s president of ofthetake ofthetake ofthe the-take the take - - take a deep brc1th-Amencan brc1th Amencan bre'ith-American bre'ith breith American brc1thAmencanCreative bre'ithAmericanCreative breath ' - AmericanCreative Creative League of Harmony and andMusIc andMusic andMusic MusIc Students Studentc : , declares If ill 11l SUIt SUIted suited suited ed couples learn the guitar gult1r h1ppl happi happiness InppSness h1pplness ness \ would ould return , the guitar , he hestates hestates hestates states , being bemg the most romantic In Instrument instrument instrument strument tlicre there Is But once . , in invaudeville invaudeville Invaudeville vaudeville , I saw a peevish help helpmate helpmate helpmate mate cro\\ cro crown cron \ n friend fnend husband \ with \ ith all an allinlaid aninlaid aninlaid inlaid guitar , and anl1 It didn't didnt ' seem todo to todo todo do him any real re11 good * . . * . Slowing Up Youth Youth.OBVIOUSLY YouthOBVIOUSLY . BVIOUSLY It's Its ' too late hte to save savethe savethe savev- savev savevthe OBVIOUSLY O - the confirmed speed m1nhcs maniacs m1nhcsamon maniacsamong maniacsamong amon among the adult population populatlOo Theywon't Theywont They Theywon't won't wont \ on't ont ' ' be with us long , , anvbow anyhow 10 how , , an and andsvill andwill WIll svill be missed by but feIf few fe\\ fe \ . , If any anyLery anyEvery anyEvery L\ery L ery Every \ time one of these m1dmen madmen m1dmenwhIuce madmenwhizzes madmenwhile's madmenwhiles whIuce whizzes ; ' past , I find finl1 mvself myself saYID saying sayingto sayingto to the back b'1c1 b1c1 ' . of Ins Ills his neck necl , 'Well Well ' 'Wellbrother Wellbrother ' , brother , glad to have h'le h'l\ h'l hl ' \ e this glimpseat hmpse glimpse hmpseat at you Piobably PlOb1bly I'lobably Ilobably ' ' I'll Ill ' not be seeing seeingyou seeingvou you ou again agalD unless unlese ; I should drop In Inat inat Inat at the moigue mOllue morgue : ; the day d'lY dlY ' you yon arrive 1rrlve ' ' But maybe ma be \ we e might nught help to In Insure insure Insure sure the oncoming oncommg generations by byInD.ugur'ltlng byinaugurating byInaugurating InD.ugur'ltlng InD.ugurltlng InDugurltlng inaugurating . ' a 1 ' definite course of juvcnile ju juHDlle jupenile HDlle penile ? education el1uc1tlon Let's Lets ' ' start with withthe withthe withthe the b'lbl blbl babies ' , let's lets ' ' maI make e It a fixed .md md and andrequired . andrequired .mdrequlrel1 requlrel1 required ritual in e\ e every eery \ ery l mdergar kindergar kindergarten kindergarten mdergarten ten , every e\ e ever eer \ er ; } public pubhc or private p1ro paro p1rochlal parochial parochlal chlal chial school- school schooles school-yes school yes school - - vcs es , e\ e every eery \ ery Sun Sunday Sundayschool Sundayschool 1Y 1Yschool school , every Boy noy Scout camp C1mp and andat andat andat at every gIrl girls s c'lmpthe clmpthe campfire campnie ' ; every place placevv placewhere vv \ here youngsters are gathered gatheredOver gatheredOver 0\ 0 0er Over \ er and over again 19an [ , let's lets ' pound poundit It Into them that reckless rechless drivln drivingis driving ; Is neither gallant ga1l1nt nor smart nor norsporhng norsporting norsporting sporhng sporting , but that It , Is stupid and andcrimInal andcriminal andcriminal crimInal and anl1 vicious and murder murderoue murderou5 murderous oue ou5 ; , . . . Desolation of FloodsTHU FloodsT Floods13E Floods FloodsHHE HHE THU T 13E first time " we e went to Venice Venicemy Venicemy Venicemy my wife lool looked ed across the theGr'1nd theGrand theGrand Gr'1nd Gr1nd Grand ' canal and said : "Did Did " you ever see anythlnglikoIt anythlngl1I.e1t anytliinghkeit2 anythlngl1I.e anythlngl1Ie anytliinghke . 1t it2 ? ' And , trying to be funny , I said said"Absolutely saidAbsolutely * ' "Absolutely Absolutely " , looh looks < ; just like lIhe South SouthThird SouthThird SoutliThird Third ' street 5treet did during the big rise riseIn riseIn In 1913 1D13 If right noa now no\\ no \ a fellow ' In Ina ina Ina a skiff shl1T should come rowing up tIp to tothis tothis tothis this window wlDdow to collect the water waterrent waterrent waterrent rent , . , I d swear I was wus back home " That Th'lt Thlt ' seemed a 'l l ' sorry joke jol.e jole . ' as 'lS lS I readof re1d read re1dof readof of a monstrous yellow torrent torrents torrentsweeping torrentsweeping s sweeping " eeplng do\\ do down don \ n on the bele'1gucred bele1gucred beleaguered bele'1gucredlowlands beleagueredlowlands beleagueredlowlands ' lowlands where my people h'lvP hlvP havP havPh havelived ' 11\ 11 11el1 ] h \ el1 ed foi fOl for nearly a centurv century and a ahalf ahalf ahalf half , bringing ruin rum on Its crest and andde anddesolation anddesolation de desolation olatlon In its waheSureJy wakeSurely wake wahe wakeSurely Surely SureJy nature has been pltJless pitiless pltJlessthis pitilessthis pitilessthis this last hst fast year-drouths year drouths year - drouths and dust duststorms duststorms duststorms storms ; forest fires and anl1 smokcpalls smoh.ep1lls smohep1lls smokep . ills ; ; bli7zards hhnard blryzards : . , and Icepacks ; and no\\ no now nothese nowthese nowthese \ these cruel flood floodb floods : . Still amid the thea1TlIctions theafflictions theafflictions a1TlIctions afflictions , one consoling consollnf : thought thoughtgleams thoughtgleams gleams le'1ms le1ms ' like I1I.e I1Ie . n a star btRr : congress will willadjourn willadjourn willadjourn adjourn pretty soon soonIRVIN IRVIN 8 S COBB COBS COBB.Copyrleht COBBCopyrleht . . Copyright CopyrightW -W W --w - - - WNU iU U S6n gen S n Ice Ica Ic . * . . |
