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Show what tbb tbb9 : . \9 9 \ o othinks . JUlt JUltthinks thinksabout thinks = about : ; I World Conqueror Conquerors * SANTA ConquerorsSANTA CANTA Conceded CALIFConceded MONICA that Italy , CALIF CALIF- CALIF started - startedhostilities hOStIlities against agamst a weaker weat.er weater . race racetor racefor for purely selfishmOl1ves selfishmotives selfish motives mOl1ves , which whichamong whichamong whichamong among seekto the nations that might sect seek . wlthclean to block her herould n \\ould ould \ \ ould ouldcome come wlth with withclean withclean clean hands ' ? ? It wouldn't wouldnt ' be Britain BrJt'lln BrJtlln Britiln ' , with her rec record ord In the opium opnun war , . 'lr lr ' . It couldn t be beFrance bern.nce bePrince rn.nce rnnce Prince . , with scith \ \ Hh her record rec tee record teeord ord toward to " 'lrd lrd ' colonial coloni'll colonill colonhl coloni'll.pos colonhly colonhl.possessions ' y j .pos pos . . osscssions .possessions possessions < ; e < ; slons , and , late hte bite J " " ly htely Aterritories . , tpward tqward tgwarcl tqwardoccupIed tgwarcloccupied occupied ? ' occupIedterrltorlec terrltorlec territories ; Not nelglum Belglum Bel nel | i ' 'f'glum fglum ' ' ' glum , surely , " with "Ith Ith vslth herreeking herreeldng her reeking reeldng record In the | Con theCon theCongo Congo wIththe o Not Spain Sp'1In Sp1In ' with | .sh sh . .shthe the Riff mrr to accuse her ' ; | < , , tt qkd qkdnor nor iT.nibbed Germany Germ'lny Germlny ' , "hlcl hlcl which " hich ; yi f iT whichof fattestgrubbed .nibbed nibbed grubbed Sfattest . off oneof one of ther tlie the . thefattest offcockles cocklesone fattest 1rica's 1ricas cockles cocI.les cocIles . of or Af AfrJca's Africa's r Rx rJca's rJcas rica's ricas ' heait heist he'll hell ' t when n hen the thegrabbln - ' - " , \grabbln grabbln \ rabblnp rabbing vns was " 18 ' good goodIrvin , IrvlnS IrvinSCobbnor Irvin S Cobb Cobbnor Cobbnor China'storn Chinastorn Chln'1'5torn nor Japan with , \ Ith her teeth te th set In Chln'1'5 Chln15 China's Chinas ' ' torn flanks fl1nb.s fl1nbs finks . Nor yet America Americ'l Americl ' , with withlong long Infamousmistreatment infamousmistreitment Infamousmlstrc'ltment centuries behind her of Infamous infamous mlstrc'ltment mlstrcltment mistreitment ' for our own 0n 0\\ 0 \ n Indians Indl'1ns Indl1ns Indiins IndiansOut Indl'1nsOut IndiinsOut ' butone Out of all 111 ill ' histoiy hlstOlY . , you 11 find but one world-conqueror world conqueror - - - 's s \ ' who ho came with withcenn withclean withclean cenn clean sol.diers soldiers ] 1nds-and 1nds and hinds-and hinds ] hands } - and those lnnd h'1ndQ h1ndQ hinds ' < the sol . theyniiled dlers Biers pierced with Iron spikes spil\es spil es \ as ns they the tlieinailed , } n'111ed n111ed niiled ' the Nazarcne Nazirene nZ'1rene nZ1rene ' to the cross . . . a * . a * . . , Arkansas Athletes AthletesTr AthletesTr 1 Tr [ ' THE\ THE THIJl THEI THEclav \ clav Cl ciaved t\\ t \ t'ed ed 'ed ' to get et on the front frontpage frontp'1ge frontpage page p'1ge p1ge ' . , the Italians Hallans made m'lde mlde ' a grave mls mis mistake mlstah.e tah.e tahe take . by starting st1rUng stirring a n war \ \ 1r ir when \ hen there's theres ' a aorld 11 " "orlC orlC a"orlC orld } series on on-especIallv on especIallv on-especially especially - especially one whereyou where whereyou whereyou you pitcher-from pitcher from pitcherffrom pitchersfrom find two t " 0 opposing star st'lr stlr ' pitcherf pitchers - ' : ? from the same great re'1t re1t ' state What scoun scours scoundrel scoursdrel drel was it said the tIte chief products ofArkansas of ofArk'1n ofArkansas Ark'1n Ark1n Arkansas ' < ; 1s were Democrats Democr'lts Democrlts Democrits ' and cham chain champion chainpion champlon pion hog hob callers7 callers callers7And " And " why "hy hy sshy shouldn't shouldnt ' that th1t Warneke boy boybe be able nble to throw straight and move movefast movefast movefast fast ? Where he comes from , " when "hen hen the theI thefamily's thefamily's thefamily's thefamilys I family's familys ' out of meat one of the the young youngI youngsters youngsters youngsters I sters runs down n a buck buch rabbit or slips slipsout slipsout slipsout out before breakfast breaUast with a pocketfulof pocltetfulof pocltetful pocketful of rocks and comes home with " ith a messof mess messot messof ot of squirrel squirrels ? ' : ! If they'd theyd ' only let himtake hIm hImtahe himtake tahe take off oft his shoes , he could movearound move movenround movearound nround around that Infield even faster . Also , It "comes comes " natchell natchel1 " as theysav they theyS1V theysiv S1V siv In his country and mlhe mihe , to nurseone nurse nurseone nurseone one quid In the right cheek cheel " all after after- afternoon afternoon . - noon I wag was sixteen sL\teen sL teen ' \ years old before beforeI I knew lnew there was any other s1lad silad s1ladcourse siladcourse saladcourse course except chewIn chewing tobacco tob'lcCO toblcCO tobicco ' or that thatoysters thatoysters thatoysters oysters didn't didnt ' grow In a cana can a . a . s . sPestered Pestered President Presidents PresidentsPROBABLY PresidentPROBABLY . * pROBABr PROBABLY worse1 Y California was "as as " no worse worsethan worsethan than any other section seetton , but 111 III I Il betMr bet bet1o1r betMr 1o1r Mr Roosevelt uttered a silent cheerwhen cheer cheerwhen cheerwhen when he pulled out on a commodiousand commodIous commodIousand commodiousand and uncrovvded uncrowded ocean with only thesea the thesen thesea sen sea Hong 1I0ng lions to listen to . , Instead Instcad of or thespouting the thespouting thespouting spouting orators of ot America . We elect a man to the hl highest hest officeand officeand oflice office ofliceand -and and - and the toughest job on earth-1nd earth 1nd earth-and and earth1ndthen earthandthen earth - ' andthen then handshake him and flag wave W'1e W1e wive ' , hIm hImand himand himand and speech make mahe him to death He Hegoe5 Hegoes Hegoes goe5 goes forth to see how fares the coun country country country try and can't cant ' see the country for the thereception thereception thereception reception committees He has a private privatecar privatecar privatecar car to travel In and spends his timeon time timeon timeon on the back platform He goes backhome bach back bachhome backhome home to do his work and all nll the visIting vis vislUng vissting lUng sting firemen In the land come to bephotographed be bephotogr'lphed bephotographed photogr'lphed photogrlphed photographed ' with him on the WhiteHouse White WhiteHouse WhiteHouse House lawn l'1wn l1wn ' ( NOTE OTD-The OTD The NOTE-The NOTE - - The exhaustedgentleman e.h'1usted e.h1usted eh1usted eehiusted e.h'1ustedgentleman eehiustedgentleman . ' gentleman crouched In tlie the middle Ishim is isblm ishim blm him ) ) A President of the United Unltetl States h'ls hls his h'lsno hisno hasno ' no more privacy than a-a a a - a President Presidentof of the United States Fooled rooled you bold- bold boldfish boldfish &old-fisb &old old fisb & - fish fanciers fnncIers that time . , didn't didnt ' I ? I ? It's Its ' as though we hired Itlred the eclu eeclu ecluI eeclusave exclusive ' { I slve save services of Michelangelo Mlchelanr'elo Mlchelanrelo ' and then thensent thensent thensent sent him out ol,1t ol1t opt , to take tahe orders for enlarged en enlarged enlarged larged cravon crayon portraits portraitsa a . a < . . Kentucky Election Elcctions Elections ElcctionsTH ElectionsIIEY * IIEY Y had a primary election InKentucky In InKentucky InKentucky BHEY TH Kentucky not long ago , and wedidn't wedidnt we wedIdn't wedidn't dIdn't dIdnt ' know Imow the results until fully 24hours 2-1 2 1 24 21bours 24hours - bours hours afterward because ooeause the they've theyve 've ve ' got gota gota 11 a law down there against counting the thevote thevote theTote vote for at least lenst one day after the thepolls thepolls thepolls polls close , then allowing time to no- no notlfv notify no notify - - tify tlfv the families famUies of ot deceased and the thecoroners theCoroners thecoroners coroners . . AS a native son , ' I'll Ill ' never ne\er ne er \ torget forget torgetthe forgetthe forgetthe the thrill thrJlI I had In 1932 l 3l when all aU the therebt therest therest rebt rest of ot the country had reported reported-a reported a reportedaparty reportedaparty - aparty party named Hoover also was "as as " runningtliat runnIng runnIngthat runningthat that year year-and year and - and then the first scatter scatter- scattering scatterlag . - ing lag In returns came In from Kentucky Ientucky { : scvpn sepn seen se\ se \ pn dead nnd and eighteen wounded . . But I 1 m afraid atrald the old state Btnte Is slippin slip slippin slippin.r pin pin.r pinr ; . : . ' There 'lhere lhere Zhere were only 750 National NationalGuardsmen NationalGuardsmen NationalGuardsmen Guardsmen on duty for this last elec elec- elecUon election election - - tion Uon In Harlan county , where the themlluntaln themPuntnln themountain mlluntaln mPuntnln , boys still have a II boyish W'1Y W1Y way W'1Yof wayof wayof ' of "otln otln " voting oting with Winchester rifles . . And AndI AndI I can remember when a Hepubl1can Republican Hepubl1cangov Republicangovernor Republicangovernor gov governor rnor called out the entire military militaryforce militaryforce militaryforce force of tlie the common commonweAlth . e-\Ith e Ith - . \ to dlsperso disperso dlspersoone dispersoone disperseone one lono lone Democrat . , Col 001 Jack Ol1lnn Chinn ChinnT1)o CliinnTho Ol1lnnTho Tho T1)o T1o ) colonel wasn't wasnt ' feeling very \ ery Irrltated Irrltat Irrltated irrltated ed , cither eIther-just eIther just - Just a trifle above nbove normal normalS . S . a . aThose Those I 1.0 10 . 0 O . U U's Us U'sII . ' . ' MEMORY IIOItY I \IOItY IOItY : \ rightly serves this humble hum humble humble Hr If II ble scribe . , It's Its U'o Uo ' ; almost time for ourgovernment our ourgovernment ourgovernment government to go through the Inu laugh laughable laughable h hnble nble able routine of or scndln sending ; : off oft the tlle cus customnry customary custernary tomnry tomary batch of thow thoce those ; quaint "ple1se ple1se "pieise pieise "ple1seremit "pieiseremit "pleasei pleasei " remit " notes to remind tlie the European Europeanpowers Europeanpowers uropean uropeanpo po powers , " erB that accumulated Installments Installmentsand installmentsand Installmentsand and back bach Interest p'1) p1 payments ' ) 1lents ' arc are over overdue overdue due ue on that little d debt .bt bt < . of eleven ele\en ele en \ or orlv ortwelve ortwelve lv twelve . , elve billions billionsIhe bIllions'lJ1e billionslie Ihe 'lJ1e lJ1e ' ? lie usual usu.11 usu11 . procedure will wm be followed fol folTossedthat 10\\ 10 10cdthat Tossed-that Tossed that \ \ cd-that cd that - that Is , the rest of or 'em em ' will wltl justIgnore just justIgnore justignore Ignore the tbe whole \ hole theory , and somebodyIn somebody In Paris , where the tbe repudiation repudlntlon Idc'1 Idc1 Idei Ideinriglisated Ideaoriginated ' nriglisated ' , rl lllatcd will 'vlll vlll ' denounce Uncle Samfor S'lID SlID Sim S'lIDor Simfor ' for { or Ills hIs hideous greed"LafniLtte greedLafniLtte greed greed"L'1fa greed"Lafayette "L'1fa L1fa "Lafayette Lafayette " ' l.tte ltte . , they ain't aint nln't nlnt ' there " tRVIN IRVIN S COBB . , Nawroap-rAllIinc.10 NawroaprAllIinc.10 Nawroap rAllIinc.10 rAllIinc10 d Amprlcan 'lew lew ' apLr . - AIII4.IlCO AIII4IlCO Illaaco . * . , North 'ortb ortb ortb to ( B " ' IncC4 dIncC4 Incv me Inc -v v - \ W . 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