Show MM taking the blue out of monday by JUNG LARDNER S ro the coltor I 1 don t know how it Is around different parts of the country but out our way the boys la alt worried about blue sunday and what they going to do when the lords day alliance gets to work on the sleeping down in ashl neton and slips another dose of bus poison to the boys that still staggers to their ft when the band plays the land of the tree A few of the boys takes the apropo like a joke and say they won t nothing come of it that the master minds that makes our laws will knock this one for a row of rhubarb ell they said the same thing in regards to prohibition but jou can drive your flivver up and down main st all day long now days without getting side swiped b no beer truck the bos as well get it in their bean that the new law will go through like it was playing yale and in u few more aks old ir mon day eliat everybody use to crab at because it meant to go to work will be a ad xmas with people up full of zip and 1 another on the back and hollering merry mon day and many of them Per sonly I 1 haven t saw no draft of the statue but they tell me it provides for ever body to go to church and as far as that Is conserved conser ned why they might just as well because it also provides that they wont be no movies or no ball game or no sunday paper and you can t dance or go ride ing or or picnicking or shoot craps or play cards and etc with pen all the dav from 30 davs to a couple of minutes in the electric easy chair well friends when this comes they s just 3 ways to take it iou can pack your tooth brush and night gown and move to paris or you can stay here and obey the law or break it now wile many books and songs has been wrote about the glorys of gay pane I 1 seen enough of U so as 1 would ad vise my readers to stay here even after the master minda passes the next amendment witch Is after this one and witch will provide that you cant eat meat or have corns As for the law theys no use obeying hie letter onlest you also obey the spirit and the spirit of the law Is to see that everybody has a rotten time sunday yourself incle sive this aln t as easy as it sounds like so for the benefit of my readers I 1 have figured out an ideal program for a blue sabbath as follows 6 A M get up and take a cold bath shave with ice water and find your own clothes 7 A U burnt toast with any good coffee substitute 7 30 to 9 A M dont smoke 9 AM to 1 P bl sabbath school and church 2 P M ibave duck for dinner to witch Is invited a man that was in the war and his wife and 4 biddles ask the man about the war 3 to 6 P M keep asking the man about the war no smoking 5 P M vespers G to 7 30 P M try and call up somebody that has got a new number 7 30 to 9 P M church 0 P M to bedtime talk nice about everybody As for the boys that wants to evade the law the ast 1st place they cant be too careful as the pen altys Is going to be mighty stiff like for dinst 8 arg it you are caught laughing onlest its at 1 of the ministers gags or some funny crocfe in the colic tor the day dut for the toys who Is willing to take a chance I 1 have got up a serious of substitutes for the different crimes like motoring etc that can be pulled olt without no fear of detection un lest the people you play with and in alte into your home Is a wolf in cheap clothel ng motoring avery time you get home from run out to the garage and change tires cards craps and etc set in church with a pal and bet on any of the following propositions 1 the next gal that comee in will be a blonde alie odds against this s about 2 to 1 un lest its a ski jumpers Jun pers church 2 hlll the tet bo from the odd or even number chapter u who will cough next a man or a woman surf Bathel ng 1 I ill the bath tub with water and pour 1 abbl bbl of salt in 11 then you and the alfe and kiddies put on a bathel ng milt and get in ou duck them and they squeal picnic put you dinner in a has ket along with some bugs and dirt the dining rm floor with leaves and sand burrs and set down and eat movies aut ou the lights and shut the window curtains hang a sheet at one end of the rm and set and chew gum baseball set on the ironing board and keep hollering that a bov funny papers our wife gets in bed and you pretend like its 2 A M and ou are just getting home she sas where liae you been you eay you been to a lodge meeting she break sott a bed post and hits you held with it you say hun golf hide A couple of bills 1 day and look tor the next by the bell syndicate inc |