Show TODA TODAY'S YS Y'S SHORT STORY Fiction by Americas America's Greatest Writers I t tr tiT ih the hi frank A. A r C Ca I ITHE THE FUNNY MAN MANBy By Harold Titus The Funn Funny Mans Man's baby died That seemed to bo ho tho last straw BeIn Being Be Be- In ing I Funny Man Ian o of tho the Express was a 1 alor lor Ion wa ways from comedy Everybody who worked on that pa paper va- va Japer Ja- Ja per hall had a long hard row to hoc hoe but tho one ono given gi to tho the man who wrote tho the column headed The Funny Man lan Says which ran on tho the editorial page pago seven soven mornings a w week ek was Just a little bit longer and a n. little bit harder than amono any am anyone ono one elsos You s see sec e It wasn't much of a t newspaper newspaper newspaper news news- paper even as newspapers go So Tho The man who owned It like lIko lots of or other owners thou thought ht he could take I much money out of his business b by putting a n little in and following tho the grim rule ruo of tho the game the editorial staff boro bore the brunt of tho the parsimony Every one had hall to do 10 everything Ive I've known the managing editor to read proofs proof on ads lIls The Tho city editor was a reporter until after dark tho the man who handled sports ports covered courthouse and hotels and tho the humorist after grinding out paragraphs and cn verse o from sat Inand Inand in inand and e edited ted the A. A P. P stuff which comIn corning coming com corn In ing in form and nil all chopped up most of oC tho time was a Job JobIn JobIn jobin In Itself To be e a n. goo good humorist you should havo have plenty of time to read anti and talk and think Our Funny Man Ian ha had none I so so it doesn't need more explaining c to to show that his handicap was heavy Then when his bab baby died it was naturally naturally nat nat- harder than ever er In fact tho the botton dropped out of the column It isn't necessary to say that his hu humor humor hu- hu mor was wag ghastly sll The Funn Funny Man tried seemed to drive o his brain to work with a physical effort but it didn't get him much of or anywhere Through h all an this stuff the paragraphs paragraphs para para- graphs the tho epigrams the verses verse ran a D. plaintive strain that stood out above o tho the surface and appalled those who knew the writer for tor in every attempt to be light we imagined the I Funny nn Mansaw Man Ian Mansaw saw the ghost of his dead youngsters youngster's smile to those who didn't know him tho the stuff was merely low grade punk punIc The old man commenced to fret about It a couple of weeks after ter the tho funeral when he ho saw sa that the Funny Man Ian couldn't shake off the thc pall that hung hunS I over him and made it Impossible to put snap and sparkle into his stuff The Tue old man was good enough at heart which is said aid of most clam p people but lUt he lie was vas losing money moncy money mon mon- ey cy on his paper knew the the value of the humor column and forgot that men are only human beings after all though they do o grind awa away in newspaper shops I that thit of ot the thc Ho com corn pi n dt to somo sorno mo of f us us in a. a a whining sort I of oC way The Funn Funny Man fan had no business down there in the Southwest an anyhow how That Is professionally he lie did not He was had abiUl ability but ho needed a bigger bisger better place a more enthusiastic enthusiastic environment nt We Ve ho ho had to be bo there couldn't help him His Ills purpose in our ourtown ourtown ourtown town was wag to heal up little spots in his wife's throat an and once there ho had been unable to get et out When hen you ou have ha a a. wife and bab baby an ansome and some furniture and aro are living your Income Income in income In- In come up UI to tho the last two-bit two piece moving moy- moy log inS is not a problem to be solved in a a. casual moment Then after aeter the tho baby die died an avalanche avalanche avalanche ava ava- lanche of bills had to be bo met and they weren't small bills either A specialist had been In iii from the coast and a coulle couple cou con PIe lle of home physicians and a nurse for fora a month month all all of which meant debt Summer was coming coming- and summer meant heat heat heat-a a burning torturing Unrelenting unrelenting un un- relenting heat that on month after month blistering lays tay and stifling stilling sti sti- sti- sti fling nights hot winds from the de desert crl One day ay tho the Funny Man elan confided to tho the sporting editor that the doctors said sall his wife must get Jet out must go somewhere else before hot weather set in Tho The throat throat that that was well and sound but the strain before tho the bab baby died the racking grief that followed had combined com corn to put her in such a condition I that they told him frankly another summer in that country an and environment environment environ environ- ment merit would send her after the you youngster rs ter The mountains were anI only fifty fitly miles 1 way away but there was as no work for himin him in tho the hills and aull tho tile wife wouldn't go So alone Its hell this hell this living said the Funny Funny Fun Fun- ny Man Ian settling down on the sporting editors editor's desk And Its It's hell thIs hell this country The other didn't know lenow what to say No o one does at such a time So he kept quiet tapping the space bar of oC his hs machine machine machine ma ma- chine now and then Finally Il he lie worked up a n smile and said sahI Richard Fox Henry says s 's Its It's the greatest t country in the world world right right I here her in this valley Iley Im I'm Im I'm Just writing an Interview lew with him I Richard Fo Fox Henry as everybody y I understands Js is probably the one biggest big big- big I gest magazine publisher in this country coun coun- try Ho lie was In our town at the time I wearing summer clothes and walking aroun around under green palm trees while I the people ba back k in New York kept Indoors in indoors indoors in- in doors out of blizzards r to know knos' the Mr Ir Henry ought Funny Man said an and laughed dr dryly ly If ho doesn't mt know life himself ho he publishes enough about it to help him understand They say sa- hes he's had his bumps bump that he came camo up from the bottom bot bot- tom torn so maybe ho docs does know Maybe ho knows what a place like this means to a man who's In debt and who's lost host who's had hard luck Maybe he lie had hada a wife Oh h h damn We had no column of oC humor at all aU the next morning The Th eM man called tho the humorist in iii inthe the following afternoon and shut the door We Ve heard about It at afterward Ho talked nicely to him in his wa way I n that It w was vas w a tough job to be light In the tho f face ce of some circumstances but pleaded that the Funny Man go goon on because he ho needed the circulation Then as though applying a balm bairn that could heal beal soul wounds raised the thel l Mans Man's Tho The Funny pa pay raise was two dollars a week When the Funny Man came back Into our room his face was white and drawn an and his mouth looked hard hard almost almost cruel He lie sat down in his chair with his shoulders hunched forward and arid for tor fora tora a long time made no move mo Then cn with a a. Jerk ho sat UD straight and his face was flushed like hike a man who who's vho's s mad Ills His han hands hit the keys of his his mill with a a. crash and arid tho the type bars clattered so o sharply that tho racket rocket rack rock et sounded 1 spiteful Now and anti then ho he would stop look vacantly before him for a moment and antI then go 10 on t tearing off short regular lines and slamming the carriage back backwith backwith backwith with a n. bang lb Ho IIo wasn't himself not even the tho self he had been since the thc baby died le 1 lIe He finally ripped the tho paper from his machine and bent over his desk leak editing with a pencil Then he lie walked to tho the chute through which wo sent cov down don to tim thA cz 11 riia 11 I 1 tiu th pap paper 1 and anti slid it l i lii in Another column of or junk out ho said as ho he turned turnell a away We Ve watched for tho proof that night and tho tim girl who read it held out the Funny Mans Man's stuff when It came up After ho lie went ent out to lunch the city editor picked it up dropping hi his other work worle as though hed he'd been waiting all the Just for that time Ho lIo pulled his eye CC shade a little lower Ver and commenced to read read fri in silence for tor fora tora a few moments Then he ho slid the narrow narrow nar nar- row ross strip of paper through his hits fingers glanced down It up tip a again an let his eyes stop first ut at one place then at another looked up and whistled softly uLI Listen ten here he said sad It wasn't ne necessary cessar for we were all waiting but when he spoke we walked over beside him The render reader finished and let the damp paper Paler fall into his lap For FOI a lon long time no one spoke and the click of or linotypes II came through the floor Finally tho the girl who read rend proof made madea a queer little sound in her throat wa way down deep and dropped her head In her arms The sporting editor walk walked ll back hack to his Iris desk and Jabbed the points of his hits shears into the wood The Tho rest of ot us did not look at one another I guess began the cit city editor and stopped to clear his throat throat I I guess you'd bettor r go o eat eat now boys bos Then he fell on his typewriter as though venting spite on the keyboard We Ve were all hard at nt it a again ain the next night when the old man walked in with witha vItha a L copy COP of oC the paper In his hand The Funny Man fan was tas not in the tho room so 50 he looked II at us and grinned Ha he lie said short and dr dry Ha Read that poem this morning Funny wasn't It t I ha had to read it twice to I tet Iet et the tho point but there then Ha Ha-ha I read it again agan just now That's what hat we want sant Want ant to make makl a L lot o 0 these knockers ers see it aint gon going to get em cm anything anything- always alwa's bela IlI dissatisfied After ACter ho he went vent out tho the sporting editor edi edl- t tor r said sam in English a lusty greaser oath but the girl who read proof and who was a nice girl never batted an eye The Funny Man came in shortly after after after aft aft- er the telegraph graph key commenced to clatter His Ills step was lighter than it had been In a long time but hut his face was still set an and andery very ery white He lie spoke a careless word or two vo and did It easily The atmosphere at once became less tense than It ha had been for days lays it was not so hard to say the commonplace things I liked your our poem ever eer so 10 much said tho the girl walking to the thc Funny Mans Man's desk on some routine routing errand enand He lie looked up and smiled Im glad he said rye a lot of ot such stuff in m my system It lets off steam you ou know Course Cour e I do some somo for tor myself myself got got a a. lot of it tucked away around here but It has no commercial value ho ho laughed and laughed and that's what I want just now Tho The way he hc said it made malle us all feel much better It must have hac been midnight ht when a squat little man in clothes clothe that were decidedly h not of our tailors tal walked In Into Into In- In to the office and looked around Is Mr Ir Ballard In 7 ho lie inquired Yes over o there said sail the city e editor edt edi tor pointing to the Funny Man Ian who swung around in his chair and looked at the other There Thero was no recognition in their their- glances Im Im Ballard he lie said sad I The squat little man took his hand han and said Im Iiii glad gial to know you He didn't offer to introduce himself Did Dirl you ou write trita this he asked hand hand- In big ing a 1 clipping to the tho Funny Man Ilan Ballard looked at it and replied Yes this mornings moraines naner I It lt Interested me said 1 the other taking oft off his glasses and looking at atthe atthe atthe the other keenly Do you ou do much of it Why IW yes yes O I Ive I've-a n bunch of 01 it around here somewhere said the lie Funn Funny Man with n Cl deprecatory laugh Would ouM you ou let me roe look at some please please please-It if it i isn't nt asking too loo much Im I'm interested In your poems Ballard gave the he laugh a again and seemed a little 1 confused But Dut there them was vas only ono one thing to do He lie leaned forward I fussed around in lii th the pigeonholes pigeon pleon- holes of ot his desk drew out a a. bundle of papers opened one looked it over blew du dust t from tho tim bunch and handed it Jt to the stranger The glasses went on again and the I little man seemed to forget torset where he lie hewa wa was even neglected a wor word or look of oC thanks One b by one he read the lie verses cres one by IW one he lie dropped them to the desk where the they got In Ballards Ballard's s wa way The little man did not seem to notice this Now and then he cleared his throat Once he said m Hu long IonS drawn out When ho be had read rend them all all t It took over an hour hour lie he folded the lie p papers carefully but as though absent absentminded absentmindedly minded mindedly Ever print any of oC these he asked No laughed Ballard smearing paste on a piece of at copy before lookIng lookIn look- look In lug Ing up No never No never thought of at It Il IL The rh man said m Hu a little lon longer r drawn out than before even Got G t a a. pretty prelly good thing hero here he lie I I eo What hat do you ou mean 7 Ballard replied I mean your job the tho other answered answered an answered an- an with a a. smile No UNo There Thero was a snap to the negation Would New York appeal to you then lien 1 0 The Funny Man Ian looked up once more and It seemed as though his face went wenta a little whiter New York he hie cried with a bitter twan twang In th the tone tolt New York Yes New York or an anywhere else to get bet out of or hero here I But Dul wo wO he he waved his hand I to include the rest of at us we us we dont don't take nn any excursions The stranger strang-er said nothing for tor a moment mo mo- ment Then Well could you oU go at sayI say say say- I dont don't like to mention the n fiure re he lie named To us it was so 50 tremendous that we couldn't comprehend at nt first first first- we who were lucky to get twenty a week and who had hall no bUl business ine s to lis listen liz liz- ten anyhow The rhe Funny Man Inn pushed back his hits chair and ande we e cou could see his lips quiver Look here he lie cried and his voice oce grated I dont don't know y you u. u Im I'm not in n an any state of ot mind to talk a L wildcat Impossible scheme with a a. man I dont don't whose I dont don't know know whose know name even en You could fairl fairly see hope struggling to break through h the crust circumstances had bud built t about It Wh Why I I- I But the other broke in My name Is Henry Richard henry Richard Fox Henry Perhaps Perhaps Per Per- haps you have havo heard of me inc Ive I've been looking for you for tor a long Ions time Then we all an quit even pretending to todo tollo do tie any work and the girl 1111 who read proof afterward saIl said she cried like that lint because it made her feel so glad to think how the Funny Mans Man's slen slender er lit little hit hit- the tle wife would look pottering potter around a bungalow and imd waiting for tho the afternoon express out from tho the ell city |