Show I i r I Wf sg 4 A well known local Jester Is 13 peeved Hero Is ia the themy way my he ho explains it He lie was aa walking down Iown tho the street yes yes- CS with his facetious wile wife I ur wonder what tho the wind Is 18 blowing about one abe ask asked dIl d. d It Il It seems scents to bo lie blowing about the Walker alker Bank Bani building Judging h by the tue I splay of hosiery ho remarked just I like that Then quick as a n Hash ho add aided added d It H also seems to be bo blowing about fifteen miles an au hour What makes him hint sore i is la to think that ho wa was pulling this big bib time stuff free roc ree right out on Main aln street while a a. L lot of ot vaudeville actors are arc getting real money for very cry weak Junk SURRENDER NEVER The Tue French rench ma may lick tho the Prussian With assistance from tho Russians Tho chance of Bill Is hopeless such hopeless such such la Is g some safe ale bet Berlin ma may bo be forsaken But one lr h burg will not he taken Ach l Milwaukee co and its beer tho the Dutch Will 1111 keep you ou bet ITS IT'S A BEAR Dr F S S S- Sw w W. McClure secretary of oC the v- v National r Wool Growers Growers' Q association says say that black and brown bears do 10 more dama damage e to sh sheep cp than tItan do tIo grizzlies He lIe says tays that the latter by being much hunted bunted hunt bunt ed ar are now timid time Old-time bear ear hunters especially those thoc who vho have o run across 8 grizzly boara bears In tho the mountains will t be plea pleased ed to learn that these these- animals are becoming timid When h hen n going going bear beir hunting hunting- it would be he cruel to take along a gun un especially for timid grizzly bears The They Ther would run away ay so o fast that a lL bull bullet t would not overtake 1 them m or If IC thuy they stood still sUIl a hunter could probably t alk up and pat them on tho back One local 11 bear ar hunter sas Fis ho lie once found A grizzly that was wag so iU tame fume that It followed him him home hom He lie says as a's it followed him hlll narl nearly into town n and was only a short distance behind him when hen ho lie i leached cached civilization He lie says sars he has met mt many grizzly b bears ars but bill never any of the tho meek and TIll retiring variety ariet referred to lo IJ by Dr McClure I OUTSIDE OUTSIDE To football fo games I take a car And Aud hope the tho games game's ame Immense c J I find ind there aro are Not holes in ill the fence AROUND THE TIffi TOWN In Iii a local dance danco hall ball vo wo observe c this I n This hall Is for refined t ladles ladies and gents I only Pa Patrons trolls aro u not hot allowed to wear I sweaters wea i There ThE were wert som sonic some pretty prett young oun girls in halt alt It L. L Lake Lako kr during durins- the Utah Educational LJ association convention Ono One reporter says sas he lie doesn't understand WO why he lie u used ed to hate hale his teachers We c clip eUp this from front tho the want ad nd column of a local morning morning- paper LOST Larg Largo black lad ladY lady's pocketbook on Ninth East or Cotton road A i paper pape peper J Jias as this Sti specimen ci of uC editorial English It is 16 assured that we will now have ha tho ho water waler system us tho ho votes pulled off ocr on Monday was 70 0 9 in favor or of or a bond anI and 1 li said no Thero sorn some toothsome binds s served the other night n at t the lie banquet of tho lie Salt Lake Dental 1 IcI society t The They must have 0 lied hurt a pull with ith the Commercial club chef It was ivas at the hoard board of education pr- pr marl u In tho First ward last week A man malt who iu la tIong llonG on resolutions was 38 drawing draving up ono one of those things s. s What do you IOU think of ot thiV he lie asked II 11 T. T Haines looked it over This Tills being an educational meeting I object to tu spelling spelling- phenomenal with an I J I ho lie said 6 tl the lie latest models along the lino Uno of ot tho the Swiss or French JoTe case articles You know tho kind I T m the mean an the ones with tho the thin worker I believe lello the most popular brand of ot thc these these- are arc called Lepine There herG ar ars a it lot of us U. that lint don dont don't t caro care for the Lepine plea pies economical wives wl to to tho contrary notwithstanding Sick cm n Yours MIKE Tim BITE WARTIME WORRIES The Tho war t In F Europa doesn't bother mo me With terror of or the stamp ta tax Im I'm Im I'm not not bent Theres There's ono thinS thing though that worries Inc me you ou see t I J haven't havert got cot the tho dough to pa pay my rent rent- Tho The press may kill the crown clOwn prince oer o'er and oer o'er And Russians quit quil tho the use of vodka boze I hope to soon bo bl on oa m my f feet t l once For holes aro are jn in n the bottoms of ot my shoes hoc i iI I y see sea taken 1 once a again grain v Exclaims an Ally 11 fan tan Gee that's Im Im- m- m mense Oh nix I tao say that stuff sturt gives mo sac a paul pain Whore Where can I r got ot a lunch for 15 Hi cent cents BRAVER A A. dispatch from London says art that married married mar mar- ried ned men arc aro braver In battle battlo than the unmarried ones Having gone one through h warfare of ot their own thc they should be bo fearless fear- fear le less lens Anyway Anya somo sorno of or them hera are bl bly tired of at life A STEADY JOB u WANTED ANTED ANTED SCANDINAVIAN HOUSEl hOUSEkeeper HOUSE HOUSE- l keeper cepI of at good oc character r. r aged 35 to 45 5 who will entertaIn matrimony Must give references Communication solicited Address Address Address Ad Ad- dress Farmer care Herald office Adv Ad BOOK AGENTS Book agents are usually nervous nelOus men In fact mo most t of or them Ulem are arc all n nerve lc Tile The other afternoon t we were assaulted d dIn In our sanctum by one of ot t them tieni em The Theoffice Theoffice office ITI bo boy was guarding tho outer ramparts ram ram- parts but ho lie didn't stop slop this this- man he man he thou thought ht he was a n stockholder of the paper r. r We told toM him in plain language that thal we didn't nt n need any books backs that our OUI favorite author autho kept un busy writing r stuff that WI we enjoy reading very much and that it ve e C really preferred our own writings t to those of any uny other great gre-at t rC authors Hut Hul without success Just as aN we no thou thought hl him him driven drien back hp lie made another charge cha charging us with being a lIt literary man and andu u a. lover loer of or Kipling Once upon i a. a time thee wo we hail had hearth that tha t name In name In fact had read the Vampire and e secretly very Cr secretly Uy had bail decided decider that tha t Kipling KIping was off of his hi nut But it would lIe cr never do to admit such low brow taste to a man who thought us literary Yes Yen Yet Kipling Is our favorite writer we sold said The Thc a expression a wonderful change chanso as he produced Kipling's Kip Kip- lings hugs work a work a beautiful addition to an any said himself He mans man's library Ho lie so IV also ulso brought out a subscription blank bLink anda and a n fountain pen Sign 81 n here ho ordered and was obeyed AH All that that beautiful sot fot will ill co cost t Is s a 11 dollar dol dol- lar down 11 and amid a dollar forever And another an au- other hill bill collector Is la added to our al already at- at ready dy la largo large ta t staff ft When a a. book agent like lilie that gets ets to you oil It Is best to surrender at al once and antI surest a to become become be bo- get Jcl good terms Tho The way come a nobody In an any community is to fail Call to tip a balb barber 1 shop porter or to adroit adroit ad adroit ad- ad to a book agent abent that you yon don dont don't t like the time classics Why spend money on schools about such agents Sl given m free rein rem In Inthis Inthis this country every man would soon have his own library and a a. chance chanco to get a liberal education at home It would mean work for or collectors and part of or orthe the lie unemployed problem would be lie solved |