Show I Tonic Tonie for Tired Business Men By BOB BURDETTE SONNETS OF THE 12 The 12 The Mining Editor He deals In metals and the glittering I ores Which lurk dark hidden In the mountains mountains' mountains mountains' moun moun- cores He knows the value alue of the tho various stocks As well as IB ho ha can enn assay divers rocks When hen wild cat cat schemers come como to him with ways Of Ot winning fortunes In n a dreamy m maze Of Ot plans and drawings handsome booklets booklets booklets book book- lets full tull Of lurid Illustrations Illustrations Tic your oUr bull He cries and bids them leave his den denat denat denat at once And when the they tr try to prove provo their ureic claims claims he he grunts But when ho he hears of ot camps again Worked through Or of ot some old mine lea leased anew Its It's different Anway this Is IE his S' S gain He ever writes In Interesting vein COVERING THE GROUND There are women running for office In Kansas this year ear notwithstanding ing the Impediment of or tight skirts observes observes observes ob ob- ob- ob serves Anna Carlson Kansas Kansas City Journal WHERE THEY'RE REAL PEAL BUSY Our friend McFaddon says that It Is quite evident c that ever every Salt Lake City young fellow tellow of or go- go Ing to Now York City should think twice before l leaving its his mountain home homo For that bur bu vr back East Fast Is the home of or Easy Marks It explained Where do you OU find nd the tho largest penitentiaries the the- most crooks the most criminals crimi nals nale tho the most moet convicts Why New Now York Whore do you Ou find the most gambling gambling gambling gam gam- bling the mo most t holdups the most evil New York Then It stands lo to rea reason eon that town OWl 3 s tho the place where such ouch chaps thrive For take It from me the tho city man In is easy Hes He's so 80 sure aura hes he's blind The New Yorker Is particularly a victim victim victim vic vic- tim of or self confidence But Bul your our farmer Carmer who cc comes mes mes to that burg He has hal to go so golo goto soto to lo i 1 hotel clerk and unlock th the tho hotel safo safe ever every time ho he wants ants to upend a a. dime Wh Whan n I stole stole- from New V Yorkers at t eCA ease O I In n the old days before I tits started right I occasionally got arrested for trying tryIng tryIng try- try Ing to steal pocketbooks And always I got Into trouble when I tried to lift the purse from a fanner farriter Has He's far wiser than his city brother WITH THE GREEN GRA Scientists agree th the are age Is from twenty to fort forty millions of years old Well that would make an awful difference difference differ differ- ence once on the length of or the front lawn Ia wn herb herbage e |