| Show Tonic Tonie for Tired Business Busine s Men MenEr By Er BOB O OI OJ YOU The state d department p co contributed tho the following classy y e tory story which which Is ft a wine winner win nor ner nol Two fans were talking t over the tho capa capabilities of Capt Frank of oft t the 6 o Salt alt LaJ Lake e City champions I Oil understand he ho works every winter at nt the St. St Louis Car company Ah AkI yea U he coaches es I presume said AId one Rather remarked the other fan he trains HE GOT THE JOB rOB Got t a a. Job boss 7 Eh 7 Inquired the he editor looking u up from fifteen pounds of ot copy troy weight I I want to work repeated tho the young Inquirer r. r He Hep p but set ef but not here responded the Old Man Man you a 4 position as a reporter report r open i Well Nell look h here re Ruth Rush that copy Joe I Do you really want to be begin n the newspaper newspaper news neW paper game Do you ou want to stay Itay on the water wagon while you write writ u up I notes notee on a a. banquet as full of booze as asa as aa asa I a Texas county used used to be Do you want to stay up all an day and most of ot the night ht jumping aft after ft s a 8 mystery s v that Is IB the heart heart and sole aole des desire r ra of eve even paper In town own Do you Ou want to Interview fellows who wont won't speak for fear of ot going to Jail or orthe orthe orthe the 8 senate Do you wart want a to hustle when youre you're no so blamed tired you'd oud dream of roses if f the they sho showed you an ad advertisement advertiser advertise mont ment of an n onion bed Do you You you- Hold Hole on b boss boas es Interrupted the enthusiastic enthusiastic en en- thUll sUc applicant Hold on Id I'd rather dig news out of ot a coffin cortin lid with witha a 8 skull than drink th the brew in th Ui shade in a D. hammock with Lillian Russell Russelll Did he get Iet that Job Well Wen PID DID he A JEWEL OF OP A VOICE The soprano was wa not much on voice olce but woe was gowned frowned and bejeweled as an oriental princess All the women in the house hous 8 gasped ped All the men mn yawned awn Finally one spectator tor re remarked re- re marked to her husband d She must have studied with Patti PatU I II thought gloomily remarked her ear ur deafened lesser leaser half halt she th she was studded with diamonds diamond TOO TRUE TRUE TOO TOO TRUE Heres Here's a contribution which ranks A No 1 Theres There's al' al ala always a s 's room for one more more like like this Emerson wrote an n essay euay on Compensation Com Compensation There Then is compensation everywhere t Take ice tee for example The I Irich rich have it in summer and the poor in winter DE TROP TRap 1 Bill Griffiths says say he doesn't sympathize with Mm e. e Henriette Call- Call laux Jaux He declares that shooting editors was deemed ungentlemanly and un unladylike like lIko in his hla set some soda years ears ago UNANIMOUS I IThe The Peace society had been with th tho the problem How to Get the Pata- Pata to Throw AW Away Y Their War Clubs for tor Toothbrushes The Tho vagueness of ot war and the Imminence of ot toothache had been pointed out b by a a. speaker Unfortunate UnfortunatelY Unfortunately he referred referred distantly to one of or the theo members members who whose capital was i Invested vested in a plant gentlemen which m makes kes a aroot profit prom root of f manufacturing death dealing W Instantly Instantly sofa cushions resolutions and false teeth tilled tiled the air In ten minutes t two o faces facu each with proboscis r were era I r turned to th the chairman above a a. swaying sea of ot armand arms arm and leAS leA'S and a a. feeble piping voice exclaimed exclaimed ex ex- claimed I OIl move the tho substitution of or ounce four a II gloves cloves for tor rum gum m sticks |
