Show F er Salt Laker Out in Pacific ro Meridian Thing Puzzles Haddock cyS t. t o o- o o o. 1 Auto Takes Spin Around Honolulu I. I t Tho Th TE Telegram legram has recel received ve tho the 6 cond of ot a series of ot personally tY 1 accounts of ot a world tour b bg Lon J J. J Haddock former Salt Ako hico realtor reactor and now of ot Los Ansel An- An sel s who with his family and was then aboard the S S. S S. S President Monroe This Installment tw was was s written March larch 25 somewhere y tf b tween Honolulu and Japan Mr Ir c 4 Jg Haddock writes 1 I have lived the tho fastest day of ot y life I went to bed last night Ii tt being being- Wednesday March 25 25 to tot t aV lc this morning only to be ap- ap of ot of the fact that It Is Friday I larch t h. h Jm J fi Lm too dazed yet jet to fl figure ure out ut ex exactly how It happened The Vol Vol- ad law obtains on this ship even my life liCe habits wore were not sufficient cl nt assurance assurance of ot my sobriety And distinctly looking at the tho OA J of the ship Just before I went Ltd to bed last night and noting parM par- par M that It read Wednesday a March 2 th i vever when a a. man has been beens s 3 r odd ninety-odd years seems n q bat 8 long sr anyway Va he loarn learns to Just 4 ce a a. great many things for forg g gt therefore I submissively accept the fact which tact which I Isn't that true true that today Is Friday March 4 t PASSES P. P MERIDIAN YIt It lt all happens on account of ot a 1 certain meridian we ran over during dur- dur log ing the he night The one hundred I fand And d eightieth meridian If Il an any of ot Yell jou are thinking of going globe- globe I solemnly warn you to look out for that meridian Its It's a abear AJ bear I didn't go to bed till well till well jm ill 1 late enough to see If Ifo we o were r r. r close clos to It as they n now ow claim we wo k rere vere ere but I didn't see hair nor hide of it Some of ot the tho more hysterical t. t Insist that they felt and heard It grating on the tho keel of ot the ship as we passed over it In the night but they certainly see soo an and hear better than I do doAnd And nd now it develops that it isn't a real meridian after atter all Its It's Just one of those things that are really not real but only what they aint All the geographies I ever saw showed the longitudes and the latitudes marking off ott the surface of ot the earth into convenient on squares and I had been looking forward with certain anticipations to the fun of or Jumping from one square into another an an- other other other-a. a sort of wholesale checker game game and and now Im I'm told that I can play the game only by absent treatment treat treat- ment However that's the price one ne pays for starting out to encircle the globe globo In a ship I shouldn't be surprised surprised surprised sur sur- any morning now to have ha them hem tell me w were we're re sailing eastward notwithstanding e we started directly westward from San Francisco You cant can't tell what they'll do on a a. ship If It l' l I were giving you the facts as I Isee Isee Isee see them they would be that we haven't moved a foot in the last five days Its It's all a bluff blutt They Ieee Keep the engines going so as to give the appearance of or motion but they dont don't go forward an Inch I mow know because Ive I've been checking on the scenery and we wo have been exactly In the sane samo spot ever since we got out of sight of Honolulu WILL TURN MARINER I Now we are supposed to be off Wake Island look island look It up on the map but but its it's Just another one of those Islands that you ou dont don't see nor feel cd you ou Just accept it Talk about walking by faith what about sailing sallIng sailIng sail sall Ing without sight Anyhow Im I'm 1 going to let them know v that the they cant can't learn l me Its a fine tine ship thought though Im I'm not writing an ad for the Dollar line but I must say for the benefit of It any who may be going abroad that these people certainly give every consideration to the wants of ot their passengers Our ship Is Just a big bis yacht hotel with every convenience and comfort Jazz orchestra playing playing play play- ing during meals and for tor dancing on the Veranda cafe cate deck in the evening e library barber shop laundry laun dr dry etc and the cuisine 1 I like that word It sounds Rounds so much like ham and eggs is 15 equal to the tho best hotels And again were you ever waited on by a a. Cantonese Chinaman If It not you have not yet lived Talk about attention They exude It It The They stick to one like a shadow not waiting to be told your wants but oftentimes anticipating them Exhibit Exhibit Exhibit Ex Ex- Ex- Ex hibit A A- A AWe We e are honored with the presence of ot the ships ship's chief officer at our table He JIe has his own personal personal per per- Cantonese servant a young thin-faced thin chap with a bland childlike childlike child child- like Ike expression Yesterday at t dinner dinner dinner din din- ner the chief told him to eliminate eliminate nate the salad from his dinner course Sing Bo nodded and disappeared disappeared disappeared dis dis- appeared In the direction of of or the serving pantry to return shortly bearing proudly the tho chiefs chief's salad accompanied by a long pint glass filled with lemonade Such was his Chinese interpretation of ot an or order order order or- or der to eliminate the salad d. Doglike Doglike Doglike Dog- Dog like fidelity that's what it Is an ani 1 I like it only see to It that you make your our meaning cle cleat clear when dealing With one of ot these lads or heaven only knows what the an answer will be COSMOPOLITAN LIST Now as to our fellow travelers Well Veil there is a no solemn looking Judge and his new bride of ot fifty summers summers never never mind the winters a professor proCessor of from one of ot the western universities a Shanghai Shang Shang- hai merchant returning from his first visit to the United States an Insurance man Just changing his base of or operations from Shanghai to Singapore a Russian unable to speak a word of English but one ot of the most Industrious men as manifested In his application to his writing and reference books that It Has lias as ever ever been my good g fortune to meet and giving every indication of the scholar an anti and gentleman a former American citizen now in the employ of ot tho the customs service of ot the Chinese republic a fire commissioner commissioner commissioner com com- missioner from San Francisco a alady alady alady lady missionary returning to her station in Manila Oh yes yes yes' there is also the lady Indy whose husband nd so one of ot the ships ship's officers Informs me confidentially of ot course got his start peddling safety razor blades along the wharf at Colombo or Rangoon or orsome orsome orsome some other one of those outlandish places and who now owns one ono of ot the largest stores or dance halls or something of ot that sort there and who shows her Influence by calling the ships ship's officers by their given names and loudly insists that she's a perfect lady and ready to prove it should the occasion arise Of lOOt course there are other othe ladles ladies board although the somewhat Im- Im Immediate im immediate mediate presence of ot my wife and daughter precludes the possibility of close cultivation of them on my part Some of ot them sit around and smoke their with the men and others again are Just like mother and her type In the evening we dance out on the deck aft or else we vary the entertainment by listening to learned dissertations on the stars by a gentleman who gets the right stars in the wrong constellations constellations con con- etc but whose Intentions intentions intentions I am convinced are entirely honorable VISITS NAVAL BASE Last Saturday we spent In Honolulu It was somewhat misty from the nights night's rain and still sUll tery but it gave us time to take a awhirl awhirl awhirl whirl in an auto out to the wonderful wonderful won won- naval base at Pearl harbor thence up into the pineapples where we enjoyed the to never ten taste of a a. pineapple cut fresh tresh from the buch buck tree or plant whichever whichever whichever which which- ever It Is From Prom here we sported the principle business district looking lookIng lookIng look- look Ing for all the world like a se section of ot old Japan owned and controlled as it Is by the Japanese with their customs dress and methods transplanted transplanted transplanted trans trans- planted wholesale from Nippon and up through the wonderful valley with Its stately royal palms and marvelous tropical setting to the Pall one of ot the wonder views of the tho world A sharp lift litt In the hills 1200 feet above the level of the sea disclosing a view of ot both sides of ot this entrancing sea-girt sea Isle By a swift face about our driver barely averted the loss of his auto as the mile eighty gale from the theother theother theother other side of the Island tore In upon us flinging back the mists that had come creeping up from our side of ot the island in long swirling columns A run around Diamond Head luncheon at the Mauna hotel and a dip in the bay at famous Waikiki and our glorious day was ended Much Juch more might be written about Hawaii particularly of ot the spectacular development of the pineapple pineapple pineapple pine pine- apple Industry which bids fair to become the leading pursuit of ot the Island superseding the well syell sugar cane but happening to glance at some of the statistics I noted that Captain Cook was killed there some time ago for tor having discovered discovered discovered dis- dis covered the islands so that I felt satisfied to leave well enough alone and It was with considerable relief that I saw our ship get safely off oft again Into The lady from Amarillo Amarillo- Texas who sits opposite me at our table has ju Just learned that she could have got her permanent wave for only 15 15 at another shop in Los Angeles An An- geles Isn't It the limit the way they rob us women LO LOT LON J J. HADDOCK I |