Show I I 0 I nJ By Op MAxSON FoXHALL J J 0 BARNYARD BITS By George S. S Chappell I I. I School Days An old hen sat in her hen roost roost- school Where the little go f fAnd And taught her pupils the Golden Rule And things that they ought to toV know And one of her lessons every term I f f Was the old old tale of the earl early worm Now I hope she said that you understand And will profit by what you hear Then obby Bantam raised his hand And Anti she said What is it dear I I was only mom he said the worm was still in bed II The Watch Dog l Spot the watchdog at the farm Barks to keep the folks from r hairn Barks at sunup barks at noon Barks all evening at the moon Then when stars are overhead t Yawns and says To bed to bed Though a watchdog of renown My watch too sometimes runs runs' down don RESULTS Patron Is this hair hall tonic tonics is as asgood s' s f F good as you ou claim it is Barber Is it Ill I'll give you a a case Not six months ago a man came in here who was as bald as an egg He lie started using this tonic Today Toda that man is a successful contributor contributor contributor con con- to The Fun Shop Shop Irving Irving Bartlett HER RIGHT t i Lady Lawyer cross examining a a. at witness Where were you ou the tha night of February 13 r Witness Sa Say Who do you jou OU think you are are my my wife wife Lyle Lyla Heintz J t SPARTACUS You call can me chief said the the traveler to the Pullman porter and you do dowell w well to call me chief Here Is a cent 50 tip for you ou WILD WILLIES I. I Little Willie Tillie clever cleyer chap Built a powerful weasel trap I This down in the hafl han he 1 put ut All An he caught was papas papa's foot Victor Stringer I I- II Willie in the laundry tub Gave his little dog a rub Mv 1 he said what am I T Ive I've put put In in too much bluing Daniel Hales BOTH GUlL GUILTY TV 1 t Recently at our dinner table the following conversation took pla place e between my father and my brother Son dont don't you know that when grace is being asked you rou should close your our eyes ees and bow your jour our head I Yes father but how do you rou I know I didn't Robert didn't-Robert Robert Gaston Jr CAPACITY INFORMATION Newbury I understand Jackson is an authority on horses Blackburn Backburn Yes he claims to know as much about horses as his wife does about the neighbors Leah Markoe COMMERCIAL REPORT Almost six times as many radios are sold as washing machines THE ART OF GIVING An adding machine for the hopeless hopeless hopeless hope hope- less man that he may have something something some some- thing to count on in the future A cornet for the spendthrift that he ho may blow in everything everything- he has A phonograph for the haughty maid that she may put on all the airs she wants to A pair pall of foils tor or the undecided voter that he ma may glory In being on the fence A telescope for the quitter that he may be enabled to see one thing thin through at an any rate A pair pall of oC scissors for the practical cal jol jolter joker er that he may cut up generall gen gen- A dictionary for the bashful lover that he may find words to express his feelings A book of jokes for the vegetarian vegetarian vegetarian vege vege- that he may have something to crack when there are areno no nuts in sight Norma Talmadge INTRODUCTION LACKING Rural Visitor trying to cash a t I. check in a city bank Why wont won't ont ye e cash it mister Cashier r I dont don't know you Rural Visitor Well Ill I'll b be I 1 never seen sich a stickler lor br etiquette Jack etiquette Jack Hinkle I There laughed the flapper a as she finished powdering her nose be before before before be- be fore the mirror that puts an entirely entirely entirely en en- different complexion on the tha j thing CROSSWORD LIMERICKS IA R I RA A clever young 1 1 named Pai Paul Never ever used 2 2 at all I With a short par of 3 3 He would swipe on th the 4 4 His patients His practice as a as a ff 5 5 f 1 A collector of appendixes etc 2 Things to put you to sleep jilce ether etc 3 Which weighs more moie morea mort a pound of feather or a pound f 0 Of i 4 Use this to solve 6 this lim lim- limerick erick 5 Not large Rudie Rudie L. L WELL I WELL While hile a nimble 1 1 Doc Doe Traps Traps-ock once fell felt down don a c 2 2 f When the they hauled the 3 3 out ut utHe He was loaded with 4 0 4 Q At least so Ive I've heard the 1 5 lr lr tell 1 A small antelope Also a nick nickname name for a pretty girl 2 D pIng dong beU pUSS pussy's IS in the I IA A nickname a doctor hates w whet ships are fastened 4 A fresh at Ir fish 5 Same as No Ko 3 3 Mrs A. A I IJ J J. Farmer t ANSWERS TOS SATURDAYS SATURDAY'S TU R DAYS DAY'S If CROSSWORD LIMERICK la 1 Cent 2 Got Cot 3 Ticket 4 dead 5 spot Copyright 1925 1025 Reproduction for r- r bidden I I I |