Show I II I COMPLIMENTS OF THE SEASON By O. O Henry I II I There are no more Christmas stories to write Fiction is exhausted and newspaper items the next are manufactured by clever young journalists journal journal- who have married early and have an engagingly pessimistic view of life Therefore tor zor seasonable diversion we weare weare weare are reduced to two t very questionable sources sources facts facts and philosophy We Ve will wilt begin with with whichever whichever you choose to call it Children are pestilential little animals with which we have to cope under a bewildering variety of conditions Especially Especially Especially Es Es- when childish sorrows overwhelm overwhelm overwhelm over over- whelm them are we put to our wits' wits end We Ve our paltry store of con- con and then beat them sobbing to sleep Then we grovel in the dust of a i million years and ask God why Thus we call out of the rat trap As for the children no one understands them except except except ex ex- ex- ex old maids hunchbacks and shepherd dogs Now come the facts in the case of Rag Rag- Doll the Tatterdemalion and the Then Then- ty fifth of December On the tenth of that month the child of the millionaire lost her There were many matly servants in the millionaires millionaire's a palace on the Hudson and these ransacked ransacked ransacked ran ran- sacked the house and grounds but without without without with with- out finding the lost treasure The child was a girl giri of five live and one of those perVerse perverse perverse per per- verse little beasts that often wound the sensibilities sensibilities' of wealthy parents patents by fixIng fixIng fixing fix fix- ing their affections upon some vulgar inexpensive toy instead of upon diamond diamond- studded automobiles and pony phaetons The child grieved sorely and truly athing athing a thing inexplicable to the millionaire to whom the market was about as interesting as Bay State Gas and to the lady the childs child's mother who was all form that form that is is nearly all as you shall see seeThe The child cried inconsolably and grew hollow eyed knock kneed spindling and in man respects The millionaire smiled and tapped his coffers confidently The pick of the output of oft t the Uio e French and German ers was rushed by special delivery to the mansion mansion man man- sion slon but Rachel refused to be comforted comfort comfort- ed She was weeping for her rag child and was for a high protective tariff against all foreign foolishness The Then 1 doctors with the finest beda bedside de manners and stop stopwatches watches were called m in One by oen they chattered futilely about of iron and sea voyages and until their stopwatches showed that bill rendered was under the wire for show or place Then as men men the that the he found a as possible poss and ind restored to its mourning parent The child sniffed at I therapeutics che chewed cheed ed a thumb and wailed walled I for her Betsy And all this time cablegrams cablegrams cablegrams ca ca- ca- ca were coming from Santa Claus Glaus saying that he ho would soon be here and us to show a true Christian ChristianI I spirit and let up on the poolrooms and tontine policies policies' and platoon systems long enough to give him a welcome Everywhere Everywhere Everywhere Every Every- where the spirit of Christmas was diffusing diffusing diffusing dif dif- dif dif- fusing itself The banKs bani s were refusing loans the l pawnbrokers had doubled the their r gang of helpers people bumped your i shins on the streets with red sleds I Thomas and Jeremiah bubbled d before you on the bars bars- while you ou waited on one foot holly wreaths of ot hospitality were hung in windows of the stares sta they who had em cm were getting out their furs You hardly knew which was the best bet in balls balls three three high moth or snow It was no time at which to lose iose the rag- rag doll don of your heart If H Doctor Watsons Watson's Investigating friend had been called in to solve this mysterious rious riou he might have observed on I the millionaires millionaire's wall a copy of The Vampire pire That would have quickly suggested suggested suggested sug sug- by induction A rag and a bone and a hank of hair Flip a Scotch terrier next to the in the childs child's heart frisked through the halls Th The hank of hair Aha X X the unfound quantity represented ed the But I the bone Well when dogs find bones the they they- Done it were an easy and a fruitful task to examine Flips Flip's forefeet Look Watson Earth Earth dried dried earth be between be- be tween the toes Of course the dog dog dog- I but Sherlock was not there thore Therefore it devolves But topography and architecture architecture architecture ture must mum intervene The millionaires millionaire's palace occupied a lordly space In front of It was a lawn mowed close-mowed as a South Ireland mans man's face faco two days after a shave At one side of It It and fronting on another street was a trimmed to a leaf and the garage and ind stables stable The Scotch pup pupI had ravished the from the nursery nursery nursery nur nur- I sery dragged it to a corner of the lawn dug a hole and buried it after the manner manner manner man man- ner of careless undertakers There you jou ou have the mystery solved and no checks s sto to write for the hYI wizard or or fi pun ui pun notes to toss to the sergeant Then lets let's get down to the heart of the thing tiresome readers the readers the Christmas heart of the thing Fuzzy was drunk not drunk not not riotously or at helplessly or loquaciously as you or I Imi mi might ht pet get et but decently appropriately and inoffensively as become sa gentleman gentleman gentleman gentle gentle- man down on his Ins luck FuzzY FIzzy was a a. soldier of ot misfortune The I road the haystack stack the park bench the kitchen door the bitter round of shower beds o ment mente the petty gs and ard Ignobly garnered largesse of great reat cities these Cities these formed ormed the chapters chanters of his history Fuzzy walked toward the river riven clown down the str street et that bounded one Ede of tho the millionaires millionaire's s house and grounds He saw sawa a leg of Be Betsy sy the lost l I 4 ing like the clue to a Lilliputian murder murder mur mur- der mystery from its untimely grave ina in m ina ma a corner of the fence He dragged forth the maltreated infant tucked it under his arm and went on his way crooning a road song of his brethren that no doll that has been brought up to the sheltered sheltered shel abel life lite should hear Well Vell for foi Betsy that she had no ears eara And well that she had no eyes save unseeing c of black for the faces of Fuzzy and the Scotch terrier weer those of brothers and the heart of no raga oIl could withstand withstand withstand with with- stand it twice to become the prey of such fearsome monsters Though you may not know it Grogan Gro- Gro Gregan's Grogans Grogan's gan gans gan's s saloon stands near the river and near the foot of the street down which I Fuzzy traveled In Grogans Grogan's Christmas cheer was already rampant I Fuzzy entered with his doll He fancied fancied fan fan- fanI I cled that as a mummer at the feast of Saturn he might earn a few drops from the wassail cup He set Betsy on the bar and addressed addressed ad addressed ad- ad dressed her loudly and humorously seasoning sea sea- sorting his speech with exaggerated compliments compliments com corn and arid endearments as one entertaining entertaining enter enter- taming his lady friends The loafers and bibbers around caught the farce of it it roared The bartender gave Fuzzy a drink Oh many of us carry One for the lady suggested F Fuzzy Fizzy Impudently and tucked ed another contribution contribution contri contri- button to art beneath his waistcoat He began to see possibilities in Betsy His first uirt night had been a a. success Visions of a vaudeville circuit about town dawned upon himIn him In a group near the stove sat PIgeon Pigeon Pigeon Pig eon eon McCarthy Black Riley and One eart Mike MUte well veIl and unfavorably known in the tough shoestring district that blackened the left bank of the river I They hey passed a newspaper back and forth among themselves The rhe item that I I i I each solid soUd and blunt forefinger pointed I I out was an advertisement headed One OneHundred OneHundred OneHundred Hundred Dollars Reward To earn it one must return the lost strayed or stolen from the millionaires millionaire's s mansion It seemed that grief still ravaged Unchecked unchecked un un- checked in the bosom of the two faithful faithful faithful faith faith- ful child Flip the terrier c capered and shook his absurd whisker whisler er before her powerless to distract She waited for Betsy In the face of walking talking talking talk talk- ing mama ing and eye-closing eye French and Violettes The advertisement advertisement advertise advertise- ment meat was a last resort Black Riley came from behind the stove and approached Fuzzy in m his sided one-sided parabolic way The Christmas mummer flushed with success had tucked Betsy under hi his arm and was about to depart to the tho filling of impromptu dates elsewhere Say Bo said Black Riley to him where did you co cop out dat doll This doll asked Fuzzy Fuzz touching touching- Betsy with his forefinger to be sure that sh she sha was th the one referred to Why this doll was presented to me rae by the Emperor of I have seven I hundred others in my country home in Newport This doll doll doll- Cheese the funny business said Riley You swiped it or picked ed it I up at de house on de hill where but where but never mind dat You want to take 50 I cents for de rags and amI take It quick I I Me brothers brother's kid at home might be to play wid wi it it He what Hey what Ho JIo produced the coin cpin Fuzzy laughed a gurgling insolent laugh in his face Go to the of office office oi- oi fice of Sarah Bernhardt's Bernhardt s manager and propose to him that she be bo released from a nights night's performance to entertain entertain enter enter- tam tain the Tacky town I Lyceum and Literary Literary Literary Lit Lit- Coterie You will hear the duplicate duplicate duplicate dup dup- i licate of Fuzzy's laugh lauAh Black Riley gauged Fuzzy quickly i with his blueberry eye as a wrestler does His hand was itching to play the Roman and wrest the rag Sabine from the extemporaneous merr who was entertaining an angel un unaware un- un aware But he refrained Fuzzy v was fat and t sot solid ill anti and big Three inches of well-nourished well defended from the winter winds by bv ingv linen intervened between his hise e vest t and trousers trous trous- ers Countless small circular wrinkles running around his nis coat sleeves and knees guaranteed the quality of his bone and muscle His small blue eyes eves bathed In the moisture of altruism and wooziness looked upon you l kindly yet vet w without abashment He yas as I formidable So Black temporized you OU take tak f for r It It den he ask ed 00 I Money said Fuzzy Fu with husky i firmness firmness cannot buy her I He was S intoxicated with tho the n artists rUsts fi first sweet cup of f To s set st sta t a f faded t d-t bl IJ stained rt rt rag raK doll o nna on nn ona a bar f to ho o ii mimic i converse n s with it l. l and to find his heart eart leaning with fh the sense n e of earned and his us throat scorching scorching- with free libations poured I. I ii his honor could base com coin buy uv him from such achievements achievements' You will perceive that Fuzzy had n the tern tem m- m Fuzzy walked out with the gait rait of a a. trained sea lion In search of other cafes to conquer conr Though the dusk of twilight was TV-IS h hardly yet apparent lights were beginning he- he ginning to span spangle e tIle the city like pop pop- nm bursting In a adeep deep skillet ChrIstmas eve ve impatiently expected was over the brink r ri of the hour HOPS had for its celebration celebration i tion Towns would h he Painted red You yourself have lu rd the tue horns id at-id lodged the capers of the Sa enn l Placid luIl TIne and On ar ar Mike Mil p a hasty converse outside Grog Groans They were were narrow narrow- hested pallid striplings not fighters I i IV IJ in In the open but more dangerous their of ot warfare than the mot most terrible ways of Turks Fuzzy uzzy in a pitched of o other the three batIe could have eaten ther In a please go go-as- go please ou-please encounter he was already doomed They overtook him just as he and entering s Casmo Casino Cas Cas- Cas- Cas were Betsy ino mo They deflected deflect 1 him and shoved the newspaper under his nose 1 Fuzzy uzzy could read read and and more Boys said he you are certainly damn true friends Give me a week to think it over over The soul soui of a real artist is quenched with difficulty to The boys carefully pointed out him that advertis advertisements were soulless and that the deficiencies of the day might not be supplied by the morrow A A cool hundred said Fuzzy thoughtfully and mushily Boys said gaid he you you are true friends Ill I'll so go up and claim clim mno h the re reward re- re f t tI ward J The show business s is not what it used to be I INight Night was falling mor mori surely The I three tagged at his side side-J to the foot of the rise on which stood the bullion- bullion aires aire's house There Fuzzy turned upon I. I them acrimoniously You are a pack of putty-faced putty hounds beagle he roared Go away They went a away a little way sway In McCarthys McCarthy's pocket pot et was wasa a section of one-inch one gas pipe pip eight inches long In one end and In n the middle of it was a lead plug One- One half of it was packed tight with solder sol sol- der Black Riley carried a slung-shot slung being a conventional thug One ear One ear Mike relied upon a pair of brass an an heirloom In the family Why fatch and carry said Black Riley when some one will do it for forye forye forye ye ye Let n nhim him bring it out to us Hey what what h We can chuck him in the river said Pigeon McCarthy with a stone tied to o his feet feeL Youse gu guys s make me tired said One ear Mike sadly Ala Ain t progress ever appealed to none of Sprinkle a litle liUe gasoline on im and drop im imon imon ira on the well drive e well Fuzzy entered the millionaires millionaire's gate and zigzagged toward the softly glowIng glowIng glowing glow glow- ing entrance of the mansion The three goblins came to the gate and lingered lin lin- un- un one one on each side of ot it It one beyond beyond be be- yond ond the roadway The fin fingered ered their cold metal and leather confident Fuzzy rang door Deel eel smiling foolishly and dreamily An atavistic in instinct instinct instinct in- in prompted him to reach for the button of his right glove But he wore no gloves so his left hand dropped embarrassed The rhe particular menial whose du duty ty it was to open doors to silks and andi i laces shied at first sight of ot Fuzzy I But a second glace too took in his passport passI passport pass pass- port his card of admission his surety of welcome welcome the the lost of the daughter daugh daugh- ter of the house dangling under his arm Fuzzy was admitted into a great hall dim with the gl glow w from The hireling went awa away and returned with a maid and the child The doll was restored to the mourning one She SheI clasped her lost darling to her breast and then with the inordinate selfishness selfishness selfish selfish- I ness and candor of childhood stamped her foot and whined hatred and c fear of nf q i i I I i the odious being who had af rescued her I I from the depths of sorrow and I Fuzzy Buzzy wriggled himself into an Ingratiatory Ingra- Ingra attitude and essayed the idiotic I smile ad anti bla ennS small talk tall that IS s supposed to charm the budding Intellect I of the young oung The child bawled and was dra dragged ged aWa away hugging her Betsy Cl close There Theire e came th the |