Show I i j I Sayings of of Mrs Solomon SolomonI I- I v By Helen p Rowland p Go to the Optimist thou Grumbler I consider his w ways ys and be still For verily verily this world Is not all woe and war and dyspepsia and desolation J Lo there Is a Land Land Land-a a Land and of Delight Delight De De- light wherein there is ill no poverty nor pain nor dressing for dinner nor next morning headaches I A land wherein all the women are younger than youth and more slender than sylphs and more beautiful than Wherein all the men are Samson and and Beau Brummels Wherein all the complexions are of roses and cream cream and all aU the teeth are as rows of young corn and allI all I the ithe lips Ups Ups' are are laughing I I Wherein the bread never falleth alleth land and the pie crust is is' is always ys lighter I than air and the muffins are never I I burned and the sauces never weary I the Ithe palate but are a continual source of delight Where the ladles ladies never wear curlIng curling curling curl- curl I Ing kids or sleep with their little mouths open but lie He gracefully In Ini i flowing hair and frilly boudoir caps I smiling rapturously in their slumber at the thought of the invisible le cold coldI I cream upon their pretty noses Where the cooks all wear afternoon calling gowns and lace aprons aprons and serve the dinner with beaming and benignant smiles Vh Where re socks and stockings wear forever and never require darning 1 and collars never ch choke ke nor wrinkle and shirt bosoms never ride up and I pots and pans polish themselves and I tires are never punctured and little boys never get dirty faces I Wherein the Perfect Wife VUe in a awhile I white while lace frock with a I I coiffure and pink manicured fingers J In French he heeled led dancing pumps over a hot liot cook stove store dancing smiling I radiantly and Joyfully at the thought I lof of having to get dinner on the maids maid's day out I Wherein the simple damsel yearn- yearn I eth not after orchids and bonbons and champagne champagn but DEE DEE- I lighted beyond measure when the adoring youth her a package package package pack pack- age of chewing gum for tor Christmas Wherein the tho meals meats are never late and the husbands are always on time and growl rowl not but hut appear astonished and filled with dell delight ht at the plate of l' l I breakfast food wherewith they are I I regaled In wartime I j Wherein in bankers and colonels and millionaires roll their own cigarettes cigarettes cigar cigar- ettes and ladles ladies in tiaras and diamond dog collars dine gloriously upon a 1 plate of at canned soup i Wherein garden seeds always come comei i up and lawns never have to be raked c or of mowed and suburban cottages ar are always covered with roses and every woman r real al lac lace lingerie the powder always to the nose and housewives do all their work In evening dresses dress s and with smiling fac faces s and a drop of drop of the right perfume or a dash of the right powder powder powder pow pow- der will make ANY man fall in love with a damsel at at sight And 1 i say unto thee is it astonishing astonish astonish- ing that any bachelor who hath ridden in the street cars and studied the backs of the magazines all the days of his youth should find married life Ufe a great shock For hath bath he not been drawn in inV it by these false signs yea even by these pictures of Perfect Cont Contentment Contentment Content Content- nt- nt ment like unto which there is nothing nothing noth noth- ing under the sun Selah |