Show II I Seven Ways to Matrimony I THE ROAD OF HELPLESSNESS The tradition of tho the helpless female is responsible for for many evils Perhaps Perhaps Perhaps Per Per- haps the worst of them is the elbow the gallant but mistaken mistaken mis mis- taken gentleman who Imperils your balance and endangers your neck by seizing you by the elbow olbo and pushing you across the street t But because the road of helplessness helpless helpless- ness was vas once nce the broad highway to the masc masculine heart women today have to endure and even be grateful to elbow and to all other products of the helpless tradition Fifty years ago unless a woman was helpless she was lost matri matri- Girls who like outdoor sports ports and objected to making samplers samplers sam sam- piers were predestined spinsters There was Vas as no man bold enough to towed towed towed wed with any female who did not i have the proper and decorous tendencies tendencies ten ten- tenI I to and hysterics and andall andall andall all other approved weaknesses of her sex I Toda Today however the helpless maiden Is no longer the o object of I I general masculine admiration Her app appeal appal al is to one n numerically limited type type type-a a type which I always think of ofas ofas ofas I as the professional ni male mie le I This is the being so so steeped in that I peculiar sex egotism of which man seems to have a monopoly th that t his highest word of praise fo for a work of literature is to pronounce it a he book bool Real men have not this stran strange e evan van vanity it The professional male feels feels' it a necessary part of his maleness to have a poor opinion of women Consequently the tho woman whose character character char char- acter confirms his superiority Is most likely to appeal to him She must be small small she she must not have a chin she chin she must not dress particularly particularly par par- well because that would imply the diversion of too mu much h money from his own adornment She must have blue eyes Brown eyes may be bo ardent but they are never worshipful enough for him and she I I must call upon him to do everything except breathe and eat for her and andI must ask his advice on those points I He will bt bt dell delighted no matter how much w rk she puts on him For each d demand deman man will be a a tribute trIbute I to his Ills strength and power and a pleasing acknowledgment of her own feebleness The woman who wins by the road of helplessness must be a philosopher pher She must accept cheerfully all the poses and pomposities of the professional male acknowledge his superiority and put him to work for j 1 her Some of the tho happiest wives are are women who have developed helplessness helplessness helplessness help help- i to the point of genius They 1 are women whose husbands have as assumed assumed as- as I I their every duty except that I of having children so as child bearing bearing bear bear- ing cant can't be delegated they dont don't bear I have children It is a to think that all allmen allmen allmen men men prefer efficiency to weakness Why even the King of Men LIen praised I Mary who sat and listened above Martha who hustled with the house house- work I believe that only blondes londes should take the Road of Helplessness to Matrimony Blondes have to be cared for one for one ne I never ne sees them in industry or the professions very long long and and nd for some reason men never seem to expect the blonde to grow up They will cheerfully cheerfully cheerfully cheer cheer- fully accept he helplessness in a blonde which they would resent bitterly Ina in ina ina a brunette I So if you are a blonde weighing less than pounds having blue blueeyes blueeyes blueeyes eyes and no 10 particular chin be help help- less Jess Let him steer your elbow and perform any tny and every disconcerting feat of chivalry that he lie seems to like If he laughs at your helplessness helpless helpless- ness it is a good sign No girl will be able to make him feel so superior It i is true that men do not appreciate appreciate appreciate the deg degree ee of Inefficiency in a a wife that the they thet find so charming in a sweetheart And the most intelligent and worth while men dont don't care for forIt forit forit it at any time But there Is a man the man the loud I I strutting professional male who male who like women In direct proportion to their inefficiency The more helpless they are the more they confirm his I I dark opinions of the sex and emphasize emphasize em em- his own magnitude Today j 1 i 1 I I I I the woman who takes tales the Road Road of of Helplessness can win only this one type But if it he Is the man she wants then her on only If regret need be bei that her hier mother taught her to walk I for tor otherwise she might make a hitI hit by asking him to do that for her too Copyright 1918 by the Press Publishing Co the New York Evening V World orld |