Show I When then Every Woman roman Plays Politics By Helen Hein Rowland I The other morning I When I woke up to discover that at last I was a human being And entitled to life liberty and a vote I was so excited That I decided to go in for politics and run for sheriff or something And then I opened my mail mall And found this in it from romp a mere man me I IDear l Dear Helen I Just in hi case casl you are are thinking of running for office and dont don't know I am sending you sou a partial list of the daily dally duties of a lady district l leader ader They are l I 1 Receiving delegations of enraged enraged en en- raged push cart peddlers 2 Seeing that tho the secretary has hassent hassent hassent sent out th the invitations for the annual annual annual an an- nual chowder 3 Inviting the mayor to the grand civil ball of the tho Rebecca J. J Rafferty Rat Raf association 4 9 Being interviewed by the seven sob sisters on the best methods method of relieving the poor I 5 Sending the clubhouse bonds- bonds lady over to ball bail out Mrs Jane Jana Doe who ho lifts has used a hat pin on a police man 6 Calling on the lady boss at Amazonia hall to explain that the distract district district dis dis- tract will go t to the doge doge or or even to the Socialists Socialists-if if Martha McGlue l Is not ap appointed commissioner of shop windows 7 Calling at the district police station to find out why Marguerite Malefactor a I. I follower of the opposition opposition opposition tion district leader has been allowed to run n a handbook in the rear of her fudge emporiumS emporium S 8 9 Receiving a committee of business business busi busl- ness nes of the district and assurIng assuring assuring assur assur- ing theta them that Amazonia hall is for forthe time the not not the shoplifter 10 Opening a a. box bOk of gloves from Mrs l Paula Tank who wishes to be appointed superintendent of cabarets cabarets and and finding a fifty dollar bill under j the gloves i la 11 Sending a trusty messenger to j I Judge Smith to tell her that this Isher is isher her last term on the bench if she j I holds Gwendolyn Gumshoe for the I grand Jury 12 Buying a ton of coal for poor Mr whose wife wite wont won't I I support him Dear Helen I If It you you are really going to o play I politics I As a tried and true friend I I send you this little warning from fromA fromI A Mere Man I Dear Man You are awfully funny and clever and all that And It was sweet of you to give us the vote But you dont don't frighten us tho the least feast little bit With all your gentle satire lUre Because we are not going to play polities polities' politics politics' At least not that way We thank you Helen N. N B. B Why B.-Why Why is somebody always trying to take talce the sunshine out of life Oh well I dont don't think Ill I'll run run for Cor sheriff or alderman or anything After all It will be be quite enough responsibility ity for any woman t I ITo To decide how she and her husband shall live Copyright 1918 by the Press Publishing Co the New York Evening World |