Show Wh at t Is Ch Cheese eese in F French ren ch Takes Two to Order Meal V Great Sport Like France but but They Have Trouble Solving Mysteries of Nouns and Verbs By George Randolph Ch Chester ester and Lillian Copyright by the Newspaper Enterprise AI Association AlliS Feb 21 One One of ot the tha P PARIS horrors of f the war in France Franceis is the F French English conversation conversation con con- book It Its It's about tho the right size to throw at a a. cat and the purchaser carries it with wills him hopefully until noon of the second day clay when he ho leaves it somewhere with a a. curse on it for of all the marvels of human inefficiency me- me the ordinary phrase book boole wins the prize For the most part pali the book boole tells you vou how to say if you could pronounce pro pro- pounce it Why Yh does the tile man with the white horse drive so slowly up the l hill lI or orly My ly Cousin Alphonse t this ls beautiful day has read a charming book bool about the illuminating soul There is an act actual al sample sentence sen sen- thrice fence Can you ou tell me If you please where I can secure a cast iron cook coole stove steve S There remain two TIa ways wa-s s 's to acquire acquire ac ac- ac- ac quire nub common or war French the academic and the to hand-to- mouth The academic method is is' is S based on the verb and and the to hand mouth is based on the noun which makes a radical divergence right at atthe th the start The aca academician takes his BeginnerS Beginner'S Beginners Beginner's Be Re- ginner's inners French Grammar and studies studiE's the verb In all Its ghastly variations until his IntellEct Intellect intellect Intel Intel- lect Is gummed I He Ire perhaps know knows how to say pay what to do with a thing but having having haying hav hay ing no nouns does not know how to say what to do it with The to hand acquires acquire a good firm grip trip on one noun for Instance cheese and pah fuU builds on that S The Tha drawback to his method is that he knows the tile name of ot the tile ob- ob bet lect but havin having no verbs verb does not know how to say what to do 10 with It ft You'll usually find an academician clan cian and a to hand In close companionship They need each other HARD GOING The They are at dinner They de decide tie tie- cide that they would like some sonic cheese heese The academician who Is 14 always s 's more show showy well showy well we'll call can him Roland summons Roland summons tIle the waiter and clears his throat J aura aural he begins then re remembers remembers remembers re- re members that this means I shall have and anti that they ther both want cheese chE aural he lie wrongfully corrects himself while while walter bending attentively over them though with a watchful t eye eyo on the tIle three adjoining tables smiles en encouragingly encouragingly en- en he ho Is perfectly willIng willing willing will will- ing to let that trifling error 1101 make malce no difference between n them Roland however feels that his reputation is at stake Hes He's put too much time on the verb to permit himself such sucil carless- carless ness so he colors though he tries to smile mile and clutches his forelock How Iron in thunder does one say We Ve shall have something or other Is we all right Ah It n comes to him In a flash Nova sil sll ous plait he again begins glibly then bring brings up with a sudden stop He has forgotten the tile word for tome s In fact he cant can't remember that he lIe ever did know a word for pome Fome And he lie Is not content to leave out anything he had started to put In since he is perfect so far far b bp be it from him to say gay merely We e shall have ave if It you please cheese So he sticks and turns tunIs red be behind behind behind be- be hind the ears carR and the to hand-to- well weil well we'll call him Jim jim jim- grins In fiendish glee and the waiter completes the job by sa saying encouragingly Oui monsieur Now Kow Is the time for Jim to come cometo cometo cometo to the rescue rescue- With a confident smile he ht leans back and looks the waiter calmly in the broken eye eyt and says just like that monsieur The waiter f turns to Jim in delighted relief Ah h He Ire got lot it Jim swells with pride and Roland greens with en envy Just t then the tile waiter waller pours forth forthan an unexpected stream of ot French which sounds like lUe one word two yards ards long a and HI waits walts expectantly even eagerly The academician lan an and 1 the hand hand- o to-monther gaze at each other In blank perplexity Jim feebly repeats romage i and It meets with the same suc success e s sas as before belore so far tar as understanding go goes s. s but It brings brinKs no cheese What's he lie saying anho anyhow that they have ha no cheese that its it's forbidden forbidden for for- bidden 10 sell cheese at this tills hour or what A little pink comes up in the cheeks of Jim Somehow he feels that his rights a as an American citizen and a soldIer sol soT dier tiler are being infringed so o he lie straightens glares and with a sweeping gesture of his arm which says plainly Bring It here forcefully force- force fully reiterates I romage Then he lie adds for forit it if has been drilled into him S Ml n veils plait Oui monsieur agrees the tho troubled waiter waller and arid hurries awa away WHICH I KIND IND Time pas pa's passes es minutes mInute seeming hours days weeks Across and across and up and down the cafe care go swiftly carried platters of ot I cheese an anti L boards laden with many kinds of ot cheese cheece Diners finIsh finish finish fin fin- ish their wine and their coffee and anti pa pay their checks and leave In chatting ease until just as as 39 de despair tie tie- settles on the acad academician and the to mand the waiter walter brings it six kinds on a aboard aboard board hoard It Tt is late utE that night when JIm figures figure it out Its It's Jim Tim Roland is fiercely going over tho the top on Oil a list of adverbs and pre pro positions S J r r have it says Jim That guy uy was trying to find out ut what t kind of cheese we wo wanted If Jf we had told him hed he'd have brought it It right a away aay ay in place of waiting for one of those bus busy boards with the as assortment on it So the first lesson This thing of being In a 11 strange land amid a strange people and strange customs a arid and nd strange language Is a aS S circus for the average average AmerIcan American Amer Amer- ican lean and accordingly you need have n no worry about your our boy hoy Hes He's along and anyhow anyhow any any- ho how lies he's among friends lIe He likes tho the French people and they like him LIKE HIS MANNERS They rhey like the way waly he carries himself his erect elEct shoulders and his well-poised well head and his free and easy stride the they like the in intelligence intelligence intelligence in- in and tho courage in his eye they like his face a good face with no habitual evil thought in it it and they have an earnest conviction conviction conviction con con- that TV when hen enough of ot our boys bors with that sort of stern eye and nose and chin and Jaw get over here well we'll win the war and they like his good nature and they liko like his manners lies lie's polite this boy of ours ours He Tie compares most advantageously with the tile men of ot any nation in that fundamental politeness which is based on consideration consideration con con- for others Add to these things the fact that he is jolly and generous and there is small wondel wonder won won- tier del that the boulevard girls when they are ale looking for someone to entertain should prefer these handsome distinguished looking boys of ot ours You needn't worry about that either in spite of ot certain stories S emanating from sensation mongers who should be in a better busi busl- ness S The They'd ll have you believe that the entire American army is plunging headlong to the Old Nick ic that they're steeped in vice sodden with drunkenness enness and d their health and morals Its It's an infamous untruth The fact Is the boys who have taken talen roistering advantages of ot their opportunities arE aie only a drop in the tue bucl bucket et as compared with the great body of the American army In France which as a whole hoie is self seIt respecting and well be be- haved I NEED NOT WORRY And these boulevard girls these women omen n of ot the streets of Paris are only a drop ii lif the bucket as comparE compared com corn parE pared with the true women of France the fine courageous W women men who have proved their worth by the wonderful sons eons they have borne orne and reared and torn from their hearts to lay on the altar of ot their country There is something In Iii the French patriotism which we Ie of a great grea free Cree country as yet unas- unas sailed cannot quite appreciate for it takes adversity to test tet and cement both friendship and love Wo Yo love America because we weare weare weare are on the average good citizens with d if high sense of responsibility we love America vaguely as a principle but an American will go very far indeed for a principle A Frenchman loves France as asIf asIf asIt If It she were a person Franco France is his mother and his undying devotion to her is ce cemented cemented ce- ce and sealed by the fact that for centuries she has been threatened threatened threatened threat threat- ened by the foe which Invades her now and life Itself is not too precious a thing ot lay down cheerfully and gladly for the protection protection pro pro- of La Patrie The nobility of ot that attitude is reflected in the faces of au all France and It Is not too much to say that profound as her sorrows have been and deep as her miseries have been France is the better spiritually spir spir- for the tremendous sacrifices sacrifices flees she has made That same foe foe would do to America and to all civilization what she has tried to do to France Your boy has seen and he has heard much escaped prisoners re refugees refugEEs re- re from froni the stricken districts an and 1 contact with the homes which have been so ruthlessly ravaged are bringing to him a more human re reason son than mere duty for Cor helping to destroy the barbarity which has risen so horribly In the midst of a peaceful and happy world He lie has been very close to the reasons for tor the American entry into this Immense conflict and those reasons as he has come face to face with them here have roused In iii him a resolution which can only be for his ultimate betterment and the ultimate betterment of ot his kind No you ou need not worry about your boy Hes He's getting along More tomorrow |