Show 1 Your Four Sweetheart in France F ranee I By Helen H den Rowland Have you a sweetheart o over er there Lucky girl I I envy you you you- Not only for the glory and the pride you feel feel In him a 1 Not only for forthe the of romance which clings about him and makes I love lore so much more ore Beautiful for rot both bothof of you i But for a much much more practical I I reason reason- reason reason- A reason which every woman who has tried to make a husband out of ot a amere amere i mere man will appreciate Because 0 O fortunate woman When Sammie comes marching home to marry you You will have a model husband all ready made with the creases ironed out of his disposition and tucks put in his wild ways and the polish on his manners and all the tho kinks taken out of him Good gracious Think of or the things s he will learn learn learn- things you might have spent your our life vainly trying to teach him He will learn first of all to appreciate appreciate appreciate home And to r revel vel in the thc tender feminine attentions which he once so casually accepted accented as his rightful rig due And hell he'll be glad and delighted to I I come home evenings Instead of hanging around his club He will learn to get up his own laundry And not to drop his collars on the floor or fling his soiled shirts behind the chiffonier Or fuss because his neckties need I pressing He will learn to keep his belongings belongings belong belong- ings in order and to put everything j back in tn its place and pick up things after himself So that the house will not look 1001 like a aI sacked city or the remains of ot Verdun I Every morning He lie will learn to cat whatever is put I before him himI him him- I And not to grumble because the veal isn't venison and the hash isn't chicken chick chick- I en salad and the coffee isn't nectar I I He will learn to find his own hat and his own shoes shoes shoes-or or go without them I He will learn to sleep sweetly and andI I I serenely while the cook bangs the kettles ket ket- I tIes and pans pans' pans and and the neighbors neighbors' children children chil chil- I dren shout and beat beat their Christmas j drums And to spring out of bed like the light gazelle without ut a grumble grumble I When you sound the reveille He lie will learn to enjoy enjoy writing letters I and and will revive that beautiful lost art for which lovers were once distin- distin j I I And perhaps he will even learn to toI I cook cook coole- And will get the breakfast for you I on Sundays and holida holidays s 's J i JAnd And far more mor important and soul I satisfying than all 1 He Ie will learn to obey and to keep i regular hours I I And Arid he will never never never again I complain of ot the hardships Of a steam heated apartment with I Um three c hot meals a day 1 And a shower bath and plenty of clean linen Oh yes I Your sw sweetheart etheart will learn leant a lot of things in Prance France Besides what is taught in a French Conversation n b book ok I Ora Or a military manual i i For theres there's an excellent and Infallible infallible ble reason my dear Why soldiers and sailors Make the best husbands in the Id Wr-Id Nothing makes married life seem so Wul PW ci nini it l satisfying and fascinating and desirable As Ac a little taste of camp life And a little military discipline Would take the kinks out of the kaiser I Copyright 1918 by the Press Publishing Co the New York Evening World I |