Show I I I I I A BATCH I II I I OF SMILES SMILES' 1 The chauffeur nC never u spoke except when addressed One of at tho the men in the party remarked Youre Your a bright sort of ot fellow tel tel- low bow and it Is easy to sea that your Iron from J people came camo rom Ireland No sor ye yo ar am arA sadly badly mistaken Pat f replied L What said ald the man they 14 I c come orne from IreI Ireland Ire Iro I land hand No sor an- an B we rod Pat Pati there yR 11 TId Bi ts But Rut why hy are you determined to get set geta a divorce from your our hu husband band 1 Because he ho Is III an an absolute brute You Tou amaze me fou foti used to say that ho he was nil as gentle ASa ns na a Yes child that's thata what hat I I 11 used to ro say But you rou OU ought to see lice him him now I Listen Since tho the baby he began n I teething nothing would quiet the little darling but being Al Allowed Al- Al lowed hewed to pull his hiI papas papa's whiskers whisker And when he ho found that out out what hat do you OU think he ho did didi Ho lie went down and had hl his beard shaved off ort that's what Do you rou think Id I'd live with witha a man who has th that t sort of ot a disposition tion Cleveland tion Cleveland Plain Dealer The grubby looking man stood In tho the doorway with determination on ever every line Une of or his lila unshaven countenance The Tha housewife who faced him was equally do- do tt Yes Tes madam said Mid the shabby man the guvnor nor rays ays to me mc Go and git hit Mr Jones Jones' dress I suit Bult to be cleaned S and pressed ed The give Ive it to yer The Tho guv nors a a. tailor you ou sec mum Oh 01 replied the tho lad lady And did you ou see fee Mr 1 Jones I 41 did mum caine came tho the answer me jno own OWl eyes eef He says atI The know I let lef a message mess at omo orne Plainly Mrs Jones was perplexed The Tho trickster felt ho lio had nearly achieved hl his object Tho The ladys lady's reply finally crushed him how however cl Well elI ell she he answered all an I can say says la Is s that Mr Jones never had a a dress suit and for the tho pa past l five years hos ho's been In Canada Then the grubby man bolted An An Iwers A well nel known business man nina tolls tells this experience He lie says I I toM told my office boy one ono day that 1 I would have to have havethe the he morning to myself my- my self and ho must keep vl visitors out of or orm m my private room I 1 dont don't care what you ou tell ten them said I make up all any story you O 1 like G Get t fluh with them if they hey are too persis- persis tent An hour or ort t two o later hater as 1 I afterward af- af learned heared a alady Jad lady ady called and Jn- Jn Insl insisted In- In sl td on seeing ne me couldn't couldn t bo ho The boy assured her ller that it done But I must must- see him she he said Im his vir e. e AW was Jimmy re- re pI what chat they all say Of or course pi ply mad read V Well ell my wife wire went away good and ell ny my no the kid didn't loso Ms his Job I couldn couldn't t bl blame lame mc him He was vas only obeying or- or Newark lers Newark Star The friend had dropped In to see the great animal painter D' D DAuber Duber uber put tho the finishing touches on hIs hla latest painting Ho To was aa mystified I however r. r when DA DAuber took tool some somo raw raw meat and rubbed it vigorous vigorous- l lv h over tho the painted paint paint- ed rd rabbit in the tho for foreground round Why on earth 1 N did rud you do that thaU ui he lie asked Why Vh you ou see explained DAuber D' Miss Millions i la III cornIng coining corn com Ing InC to see this picture toda today When she sees ices her pet poodle smell that rabbit and get et excited over oer It shell she'll buy Uy it on the spot po LadIes LadIes' Ladles Ladles' Home Journal A young oun man on a local hol newspaper was recently given charge of or the the helps for suburbanites column in the of or the regular editor The Thc young ounG gentleman managed to wade Q through the majority of the thc the perplexing QUe questions In his his' days day's mail mall until at last Jast he ho came cam to a stickler flushing Rushin into the thc news newsroom newsroom room he lie stopped beside be- be f side aide the elt city editors editor's U desk and asked Mr can you OU tell mo me how to tu treat sick lick bees J With respect retorted retorted re- re tortel the city editor as he lie resumed his perusal of the rival Boston Boston Tray Tray- eler cler a and d' d Evening Herald 1 Now said the r f fond nd mother after aCter using the slipper Clipper upon little Willie I T want wont you ou to apologize to little tittle littleS Freddie tho the first S hub time you 1 0 see him hint for tor making his nose bleed Little boys should never fight t 5 I Now promise e me r- r rj j you ou will apolo apologize apologizeS lz S 5 the first t time you OU i ig g meet him 1 All ii 11 right mother I I will nm readily I promised Willie Wlllie The next Jay a Willie Wil Vil Villie lie met Fr I want to apologize apolo apolo- gize hr for making your our nose bleed said Iah i Willie TAttle Little Freddie made mado no rev reply but started down tho the street with lila Ills nose In the air all Willie grew rew angry at his little friend hut but suddenly thought of or an nn Idea Running Run flun- ning around the block as fast a Its as- his legs would carry irry him he lie stint met Freddie coming slowly down the tue street lIe hey Ilcy Freddie ho called want avant h this the thc second time I met you Yes Y 8 Well take tate this then said Willie with a a. well wen directed punch on Freddie's nose nope which knocked the tho lad into the thc mud O o. wailed the unfortunate Freddie Freddie Freddie Fred Fred- die struggling to his 1115 feet what did you 01 do 10 0 that for My Mv I mother told mo me to apologize to you oU the first Unit tints time I met you ou replied Willie tIlie but she sho didn't M say a anything about th the second time I saw a you you ark Newark Star S |