Show L IJ WELCOME 1 lab 1915 15 The and Holidays Holidays- Joyful time of cheer cheer- Are Arc gone Wo We c can n be decent docent now FOr another year Even the moon wao wall full tun on New ot cw Years Year's ewe eve So 50 were vere the cafes cates and their cus cus- You lou may have noticed that the streets all lit up u-p. Almost tn the entire CJu quantity of Imported wIno was M drunk and next y year ar cole celo- brants ma may have havo to lo be bo contented with plain m made cIn- cIn Am erica kind War Is certainly certaInly what Sherman said saltI It ll was Drinking B out the old year vear and in tho the new noW Is IB C educational thinks one Salt Laker Tho head walter waiter ier told him that the tho wIne wIn served carno camo from rota Always before bei be- be fore Core he thought tha that t was waB either cither a tL cd- cd i thedral or n. n Quantity of or Now w paper r- r he hc Its It's a town at There Clan Cion WiS plenty of ot Scotch It I is ll said ld Stewart celebration last night Th That f h busIness conditions are aro ing i Is th tile the opinIon lUm J hoi ot of dispensers rs of raw I tomatoes lemon sours Bours and ond bromo NO BOX FOR HIM An old oIl man from the country timidly ly approached a 0 box office wIndow ot of a local theatre ye e got cnn scats scat for tor tho the Iho show tonight E gone one but gallery all ry and boxes said aid the ticket man I Wall ono In the gallery golIen on a box Is a belle too tiresome on roy my beck SPEAKING What Is It that will 11 make mako a n man more peeved than to run rues three blocks s after atler a Q street car catch It and then while dl digging out a nickel see ceo a 0 trip car cor following ln right behind 7 It takes a lot of ot Imagination to be be- hero lieve the tho early morning c cars rs are ore wai warm m just because the tho conductor tells you there thero are aro three points of ot h heat on oem You ma may wait walt ten minutes and not a car will be In sight eight but one shows up UD around the tho corner just as you ou light a n cigar clar The Tho high steps make mako for tor or politeness It keeps the tho men inca from rushing In head ahead of ot th the women CHRISTMAS POST MORTEM Dividing what I gave by what I re received re mc- calved brings a balance In value alue b but t If It I only had tho the pocket knife I gave gac In In iii stead of ot tho the slippers I received When the bills are paid paltI we will ill bu buy those thoe clothes w we need Now ow Years Year's day should co corn come a month before Christmas Then We wo could swear off oft and ansi e solve the cigar cIar Drab torn lem It aorta sorta gives sl a man R a grouch to obe obey the th summons to shop e early carly and then see pee ce sonic some of the things ho he bought marked down to half halt price rl tho the da day before bedre re Christma Christ Christ- ma maE mae 6 Oh no Im I'm sorry orr but wo never ex ex cx change holiday goode Never r aK COMING UP lIP 1 Old Winter with its Us chilling chining tt Of cold winds wind Ice and snow When I must rise at 5 c o'clock To fix Ix the thi fire tire you ou know J 4 Will In a tow low short months Ill I'll chop no kindling then ba be t I p I But Spring will ring bring a 0 sa sadder d thIn 1 Well We'll clean our hou house 8 again ln AMONG THE SOLONS SOLONa Han the tho doors exclaim th county legislators who ho bad had fondi fondl peeled to it attend the the- sessions co capitols capitol's marble marblo and granite wails Walla It has been suggested that the M run to tho state house Thi n jI j ht cl capital pit a I Idea dell but halt half tho the time th the the would ha have havo vo uphill work In order to prevent the tho from tram carrying away soap from th tho l I l ante rooms there will be no now sos sos' Oa There will bo be but two speaker speakers we wo venture the guess that every ery o or Ot cm cm will speak before Its It's over 7 Tho The only house bill most moat Pert Interested In fn Is tho the monthly ea ate k from tho the landlord j CALLED j Geor George Georgc W c-W What nt do you rou call your aur rod net law In-law i Henry Sometimes Henry Sometimes I r call her mother moUlt moth I sometimes I call her other things I am the on one who usually gets call cal George What George What docs does she fhe call cali you rOU Henry Henry She She calls me down 1 NOBODY WISE VISE j Is the manager In Z politely h ln a visitor u as ns no ho entered an office e f with iu busy clerks 5 Naw said the office boy bot hei he 4 to today ay The visitor hesitated Who Is 18 11 n him he be asked a NobodY said Bald the tho bo boy but bul thee clerks clerk In charGe 3 |