Show SOME SOl SMILES Prophecy reflects the ideals of it its age If heaven had been first described described described de de- de- de scribed in our time mansions mansions in th the sky iky would woula have open plumbing and stationary sta tubs How now much does it cost to get mar mar- asked the eager youth That depends depend entirely on how long you rou live replied the sad looking Philadelphia man Philadelphia Record Recruiting officer officer officer-If If you are a married married mar mar- ried ned man why are arc you trying t to join he the army i Henpeck Henpeck Cause Cause Im I'm such a lover love of peace Judge Mrs After After all one half ho tho world doesn't docan t know how the other half lives Never Never mind my dear That's no fault of yours Chicago Chicago Daily aily News Septimus Septimus How is your little girl Mrs Smith 7 Mrs Smith Smith Smith-My My little boy hoy is quite well I thank you Septimus Oh Js Oh its it's a boy bov I know knew it was one or the other Brooklyn Brooklyn Life I I. I Questioner in in meeting YOU You spoke spoken in n your lecture sir of a selfish mist What did you vou mean by that 7 I Speaker Speaker I I meant the sort of of man who would point out the silver lining in n a cloud m me merely ly to avoid lending you youn an n umbrella Boston Boston Transcript Have you h heard ard about Re Reggie No what's the matter with Regie Reg Helt- giel ie ie I lIe He Ue ha has brain fever fever T 1 dont don't believe it I Why For the same reason that a rag doll oil cant can't have ha appendicitis Bir Bir Birmingham mingham Age Heralds Dont be afraid of the the bacon Mr Jenkins enkins said the landlady to the new ew lodger Not at all madame Ive I've seen a n apiece piece twice as large and jt it t did not frighten Tighten me inc a bit Sacred Heart ale ale- c view I John was home borne from college for the tho Christmas holidays and one of the things lings that struck t tie the e impressionable young man wp was ws that Dora Mason Iason the daughter of a near nei neighbor had during dur- dur lag ing ng his absence changed from a tomboyish torn torn- boyish school girl into a very feel ful ul young youn woman His father had also noticed it Have yo ye noticed how old Joe Toe Mans Man's Masons Mason's Masons Mason's Ma Ma- sons son's n's ns daughters daughter's shot up John t he be asked ked his son Seems to me she's gettin getting get- get tin ting ine Quite a handsome young critter Father said John enthusiastically II she sho is as beautiful as Hebe She's a jolly si sight ht than he be object objected d the old man roan Wheres your cy eyes s boy Joe Joes Joe's 8 got ot a face like an old barn door It Its It's s her mother she gets her looks from Couple of line fine girls aint ain t tb thy they yOne y- y One Ono of at em cm i is' is a fine singer er and the theother theother theother other cook can ji d dYes 1 Yes Yes old man But theres there's a a. trag trail e edY y in in your home The one ono who sings thinks she can cook and the one wh who cooks thinks she can sing t tf 1 I t iJ ft i The Suitor Suitor Does Does it break your he heart ll to lose your daughter Tho Parent Yes Parent Yes but bt it would br break breaf sl mo up in in business to keep her Take Tak her my boy and anti be happy 11 J Jones ones says ho never neer knew what i iwas was to live i till he was married Hg He says sas that durin during all his years of bach bachi elor doe life he never nover was contented more than han two VO months at once but now ii U How hew lon long has Jones been ma mar reed neui ried it Six weeks Did you Jou ou live well weIl in your boarding house 5 Yes I always had bad everything everything- g tio go s 3 M MAnd In ing And And now that youre you're keeping house J t I always have something comin coming I started out in mule life without a d do lar boasted the financier t II And And how did you work it n wg asked S t tWell t Well I had some somo wealthy rela WI tives tires S Did your father tr try to stand in tile way of your elopement ij I II Yes Yes and he wa was bumped so hard by Georges George's machine that he wont won't forgive us js |