| Show Why Bald Clever 5 5 JK w. Barber Tells T ells Trade Trae Secret u V u uc VB V f T f T Trains TO O Brains B rains Kill Hair H He Says bays x PEAKING G of ot headed bald-headed 5 men sal said sall l Jawn the barber barber barber bar- bar ber wit who still continues to operate at the head bead of ot Main Iain street to a a. customer whose frail trail locks he was singeing Jawn calls it cinching with the aid of ot a small green wax before closing hours wax taper just last evening I think they should derive de derive derive de- de deI I I rive considerable satisfaction satisfaction In the knowledge that a 30 man cant can't have hair hall and brains too In other words modera modern modern mod mod- I ern era day science has proved that brains Is a mighty poor fertilizer for tor the growth of ot ones one's hair hall That's what I caused the bard of A Ayr r of whom I ama am ama a lineal descendant to so beautifully express himself when he said He had no hair hall on the top top of his head The place where the hair ought to Yes sir Its It's an to honest fact tact that all great men such as editors edi edi- bankers preachers and ana tors lawyers musicians had If It any of ot the hirsute appendage of ot our first parents How about He lie certainly certainly has been blessed with a pretty good mop and Is la some musician too I think Interrupted the customer JAWN SCORES HERE mumbled Jawn Um Urn oh yes cs of course h he hc is ta s what the thc stu stu- dents of would refer to as asa asa a a. freak abnormal in other words an exception to the tho g general rule Besides Beside his brains speaking are arc not in his head but lie in his hands Take a It look at this said Jawn as as with his right hand he deftly removed removed re- re moved a toupee from his head and exhibited ex ex- a pate almost as bald as the proverbial billiard ball pretty good evidence In support of ot my contention contention contention con con- that thick hair hall and thick heads go together Isn't it My misfortune if it such It can be called like that of ot the editors and the other great men menI I have mentioned mention cd Is a result of ot head bead i work Your head work Is done with other and peoples people's mumbled the customer besides feeling as you do I fall tail to see what possesses you to wear an ar artificial ar- ar covering ering It seems to me that if It I felt as you do about It It Id I'd want wantI people to see my natural head and not I tr try to conceal It as you are trying to toI tomake tomake make It appear that you have ha a head bead I of ot hair when you ou Theres a reason for that and a aI aI I business one too said Jawn NOone No o oI one knows I wear a wig not hot even eyen my myown myown own wife The fellow tellow you encountered I I goin going out as you ou came In that boob with a little blacking dauber under hit nose bought a two-dollar two bottle of I. I j hair restorer from me after having I shot a few tew glances at my lovely head of auburn lie He couldn't tell It wasn't m my own hairDo hair Do you ou suppose for tor a moment I 1 I could have hac sold to him that dope lope If It 1 perchance he ho had seen my head in its natural state of ot preservation I should say fray not I had always been under been under the impression im Im- im- im said the man ma in the time chair that bald heads ran in t families the same as do Vs VARIATION IS LAW not true Jawn sharply my fathers father's was wasas wasa as asas a as thick as rope so 50 thick that no barber barber barber bar bar- ber ever wanted to cut it the second time unless he had a sized good-sized knife and torte fork or an ax handy No the theory of ot hereditary was exploded long ago The same kind of ot reasoning led ledour ledour our grandparents to believe that we I descended from a e I minded person knows knows knows- that 11 i monkeys ys are no more more human that you or I are II But speaking of monkeys said Jawn takes me back to the tIme days of oC my youth when m my lad dad Insisted that I learn the barber trade He al alva always ci- ci ways va s 's said It beat selling life lite Insurance insurance insurance ance for or a t living anyhow Mother i I wanted me to take a religious course in hopes that I would become a bishop The poor old soul used to say to me I Be a good boy go to meetings and Sunday school shun evil companions and chewing tobacco and some day II you will be bp a bishop or something else elle and Ive I've been something else elso I ever since I guess Dad he failed to I Isee see any doxology works in my ray makeup 1 and one day took me to an old barber who vho ran a shop near the old Eighth Ward Vard square where the city and I county building now stands The old I chap wasn't much of ot u a hand at tho the business lIe He was a good latherer and that's about all all' you ou could say in his I favor I went to work for him for a I dollar and a half halt a week supper on i Saturday nights and a clean collar Sunday mornings In exactly ten years I graduated and he presented me with witha I a a. diploma I had it framed and tave ve veIt It to the time curator of th the Deseret IOU mu- l scum seum What made you do tha that thai 1 inquirer the tle he customer I 1 should have hae thought ht you would have haye given it to your OUI chil- chil I oreL arem as a sort of or c curiosity I Oh no o. o they're a curiosity enough I of ot themselves replied Jawn Sawn at least leist that's what their mother s says ays s I was going to tell you ou the monkey non moo nonkey key story Father told the old cap while he was being shaved that he believed I had In n me the making of ofa ofa ofa a first class barber as I 1 had demonstrated demonstrated demon demon- I was WiS pretty prett handy with the razor paring corns II Ho eyed I rc It ne e over and aid f-aid So you think you would lilts like to learn the barber trade elm eh h I suppose suppose sup sup- pose you understand my little man he went on on that it will be necessary for tor you to first shave shae a monkey before bo- bo fore foie you Ou attempt to shave a man I Have SHave you ever eYer shaved a monkey I yet et ct Sonn Sonny he ho inquired of or m me with witha a am lie I No No 10 sir I 1 said Innocent like atthe at atthe the tho same time pointing to a a. a vacant chair but if it you'll sit down Ill I'll have havea a try Dad nearly arly died laughing as I also did a a. lot of guys who were watt watt- ing Jog their turn but I dont don't think the new b boss Es enjo enjoyed ed the Joke very much I He ITe didn't have much ot or a trade either and as a sort of ot side i s spigE pigs and chickens On Ones One his chickens died of or thep had one pig and that to t he had to kill it to saY JJ THE WITTY Next Nest called out Jaws Jaw He had Just lathered lathere his next victim and was wasll wasI stropping his razor when t victim raised his hea head to to that the tho same ame razor Y you U the tho last time you shaved Yes sir t the very e s' s e E J Sawn Jawn with one e o of bi his amand rn am and p patronizing smiles e e a compliment J I IThen i iThen Then Ill I'll take customer custom r. r as he stretched for the trying ordeal of ot cel celebrated two down Jay Jay Jay |
