Show D D II I II I 00 0 0 00 0 0 I 1719 by the I CH CHAPTER I I Whither i I It was a perplexed and unhappy Jane Lorimer whom the baby New Year 1919 took by the hand to lead lead whither er Whither As I I. I repeated the word I realized that it held an Idea to which I had never given much thought I Its It's my Instinct and my habit to be al always always al- al I ways busy but whither had all my I aI-I activities and adventures adventures in 1 1918 18 brought me Only to confusions doubts and nd disappointments disappointments disappointments dis dis- appointments I had to admit after making a fair ac accounting of my first year of married life With all my opportunities I was not better off than the aged servant In play The Cherry Orchard The old man finds himself thoughtlessly thoughtless thoughtless- I ly abandoned by those whom he had hadI served faithfully for a lifetime He Is I carelessly locked in an empty and de deserted deserted deserted de- de mansion He stretches himself on the bare floor to die realizing the futility of his life of toil and devotion devotion devotion devo devo- tion but not resenting it only whispering whisper whisper- In ing in astonishment Lifes gone on as asIf asif asif if Id I'd never lived After we had finished reading the play aloud Mother Lorimer remarked Only the old can really understand what that means Im I'm sure it says for thousands of us gray haired men and I women what we have only felt vaguely One finds oneself old very suddenly And then we are too apt to give up like the old servant That is after all our supreme tragedy After a pause she added And the worst of It Is that we we old people never know how to warn our children how to live one bit differently l I Mother Iother Lorimer is not given to prea preaching hing but I felt she was teaching me a needed lesson I had lacked direction all my life I never arrived anywhere because I never knew where I had started for I had married just because I loved I Bob but not at all because I had much of at a notion of the duties and re responsibilities re- re of wifehood I Other wives let these things take care of themselves themselves and and they often met with disaster disaster- as a c consequence I myself I had undertaken a womans woman's most Important important important im- im work without a chart to go goby goby goby by Was it astonishing that I faced the New Year In doubt that my husband husband hus hus- band loved me Measured by my ac accomplishments accomplishments accomplishments ac- ac I hadn't done anything to be loved for And yet to be fair to myself I wasn't a bit different from other girls t I knew We Ve were all living Jiving like dream dream- ers We Ve were wire all waiting wafting for tor big events to come our way We counted off our days by our excitements And so we missed the genuine blessings the small sweet common Joys which fill up the average womans woman's days Chance had caught me up in some mad adventures In 1918 None of my myIrl girl Irl friends had gone one through such I startling experiences But what did all my ventures amount to Absolutely nothing at all I was a bankrupt in love lore I lived in luxury but I was only a parasite parasite-a a dependent on my husbands husband's husbands husband's husbands husband's hus hus- bands band's father In my own heart I knew the young wives who thought themselves poor and out of luck Compared to me were in infinitely infinitely infinitely in- in finitely happier than I for th they y were laboring br bravely vely for all that makes life Ufe vital to a woman woman for for husband home and children I had been nothing more than an actress going through any silly stunt fate handed out to me My personal affairs as I faced the New Year seemed to me a hopeless mess To be continued Copyright 1918 by the Newspaper Enterprise Enterprise Enterprise En En- Association |