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Show 'J fyemi 'Inhere J(j YOU KNOW HIM. A aUnry cuaa la loata How, H arr want a to com aeroaa: Ha would traat jroa. tout 'oodoaaa knova, HI moaar'l la hi Otbar Cloth. Womaa la a fallura doaant ah i go Into th banda of a ia!1f. Anothar oo4 aanlly taat la tha pnaaaaalon of a ear that la eapabla of making alhly mil aa hour. . FAMILY rOLITICa IN IOWA. Kobart Baory Kran. Ftapraaant-atlra Ftapraaant-atlra from tha Dakota City. Iqwa. dlatrlct, aay on of hi frtand riad an amualna; axparlenc whlla eam-paJnln- In a aparaaly aattlad ac-Uon ac-Uon of that atat. Th friend called at a forlorn looking- farmhoua vhara tha vlf waa buay with tha weak' vaahin. Har lava war rolld up to her albova, avan or alajht chlldran vra playlna around tha yard and anion-rl anion-rl hound waa lastly alttlnf on It haunch ort tho front porch. Th caller politely Introduced himeelf, and told how anxloua ba wa to at th ot of tho family, dlacraetly In-quiring- to th political Uanlnaa of th houaahotd. ' Straightening up from th waah-Tan, waah-Tan, and tnopplnr 6r rar with heT-apron, heT-apron, th woman rapllad:. Va)1, m later, wa are conaidorably mixed, I reckon. My old man 1 a Republican. Repub-lican. I am a Democrat, our old cow I dry and I irueoa tha old doc there muet be a Soclallat, bacauaa ho Juat It around and howl all day. National Na-tional Republican. A girl friend of our aay h ran toll.i tha Jealou woman' by th way they anawer th telephone call for their huabanda. Th jealous one aak. 'Who la It calling, pleaae. whlla th othar almply ay, "Juat a mlnut I'll call hrm." Call a fellow "level headed and iMti.inj, v. i, om m ii.i head" and ha geta riled. Inconsistency. Incon-sistency. i s Ana by th way there ar men . who even go to church so they will not hav to stay at home. YOU NEVKRXAN TELLI A strapping woman boarded a trolley car In Bye. N. T., settled Into a eeat and paid her far. Th car had not traveled more than five bloeks when shs roe and rang up a raah fare. Whereupon the conductor con-ductor atrode up to her. "Madam." he demanded, "do you know that I must turn In svsry far rung up upon that register"" Certainly!" the womaa replied, throwing open her cost and show. Ing a badgs. "Most th new Inspector." In-spector." Everybody's Magaxln for August. Did you aver notice how th eagle on tha money flies when you try to feather your nest? ' Fsr bs us from us to knock i pretty glrL But too often the only connection between beauty and brains Is that they both begin with 4 the same letter. AND HOW'S THIS Tou sing a little song or two And have a little chat; Tou make a little candy fudge. And then you take your hat; Tou hold her band and aay "Good-- "Good-- night," A sweetly a you can. . Now ain't that a helluva evening For a great big healthy man! THROWER WORTH LOOKING AT Jimson had been trying to find a house for rant, and for about a year had scoured the city and It suburbs sub-urbs with praiseworthy thoroughness. thorough-ness. But all in vain. Houaea war plentiful, but none were vacant. w was glanc ing down ths "To Let" column of his evening paper when he suddenly gave yell. "What is It dearT- Inquired hi wife. "At last!" hs almost' shouted. "Th vary thing. Ltaten: 'To let. modern, well built house at a low rent within a atone throw of th . latlon. Telephone (or appointment.' appoint-ment.' . Having read thla, Jimson mad a rush for th telephone and fixed an appointment for the same dsy. Meeting the owner at th station, thsy walked to th house, . which was about two miles a way. .. .. a Juat aa they reached the gausV Jimson turned to th owner andA. aaid: , "I don't think 111 trouble you ta show me over the houae now, but you might Introduce me te the man who threw that alone:" Judge. . V , . y . V ' WISHED ON HIM.' ' . Daughter Oh. papah,. what St your birth stone T . rather of Seven My gear I'm C not sure, but I think It's a grind' Nona Southwestern CoUeglan. AS OTHERS ana na - Two Japs, whlla Attending th opening ball gam la California, Hood uncovered during ths playing-of playing-of -How Dry I Am," thinking- It wa th national anthem.' Ther are a lot of people la Bait Jjake who would Ilka to rs writs th Oolden Jtul. f OUR OWN PRIVATE Opi'niON. Ha once wore shlrta of eallco But he ditched 'em when he aot soma dough, Hs changed Into shlrta of percale. When calling oa hi eaa beet gal. And prospering, left those behind. To doa tbe lobby madras kind. HI wealth piled up, ha bought aom land. And soon acquired th ponrse brand Upon th land discovered oil. And now hla shlrta com t a bolt. JVhe diamond studs And soup aad fish. He has alt any maa could wish.. And still, his face ha not th glowv Of Joy be wore with caUco. ;. X They say that' Llf all over trst. Somehow, I think lb tuft null. . '.'."' |