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Show lEZRY'S TRIPSI BY C. MENTOP j i T OOK'B Ilka fir, bat tt I 'ain't" say Ery to m . I th other day a w wna walking down Mala street. "What I ttr I ucrtad. "Well, 'taln't a fir, a murder nor Botala' elae. It' lmply a ball gam." h . "Aw g-wan." I es, urpxiMd Ilk I didn't know It. but I liked to hear Eary (peak. "Tea, aire," h sea "Just a plain Araertcaa bail garh. bleaa It heart. " "Hut why all th automobiles and people," I Inalsta "Why." be aaka me anT fixes me' wTlh a withering with-ering glanc. "Cauaa th game over I why and they're Juat cotn-I)' cotn-I)' away." Look'i Ilk thajr wul hurryln' some, doesn't It? You wouldn't know there waa so many gn snorter In town, would yon ? But there la. Yes, air, Just look it "em. Limousines, flivvers, runabout, run-about, aee-downa and "You mean aadana." 1 InterruDDta him. 1 and Cat around IL Th other stay behind grinding brakes and euaaia' vrythlng from th pitcher who wouldn't let tha home team win to tha grinning conductor, who mil enaartng Ilk, aa much a to aay 'gat behind mm aatan.' THI TRAFFIC COP DUCKS. "Th trafflo oop most duck with th first rush caus you don't see him at all, not until the people who ain't got enny automobll or nickels or else like the rresh spring air and need a bath and don't care for the rain, come walking up . when ho put in hi appearance and yell out vry one in a whll for th pedeatralns to look i out for th cars, they might run over "em when there walkln ao fast. "Ho that' the way they come, first th auto then tha street car and then the walkers." I ask him Just to make aura. "Yea." sea "Yea. 8eed-on and towncar and touring car and "Areoplanes." I puts In while he was trying tin out another name. "Naw," he xplode. "Not yat, mbb neat year, but not thla" LOOKIN' 'EM OVER. "Ever noticed how thy cum up Main street after th ball game 7" h aaya "No," I confesses. "Well, Juat look now or any p. m. th club' In town an' see it. It's good for th gout and makes you think you llv in a big town. Here they cum now. First cum the speeders goln' Ilk the whale did fer Jonah. Usually th fire department wagon ciime tearln' and snortln' up." "What's th fire department doln' at a ball game?" I bursts ouL "Nothln', ' but the firemen ar American and Ilk to ace thagame. , I guess. Only they don't take their big red car, no, juat a little flivver fliv-ver and It ha a bos on It and somebody goes out and crank it up Juat before th gam I over, unless the scor I tied or Tohln is at th bat or aomethln' ls 1 happening. Then about a dosen guardian of th burnt wood com paltering out'n grand atan like or down a aplllway and they're off regardless re-gardless of tha llttl children. Kiry. "Well. 1 sex. let's go back then, all the people have passed whll ws wui talkln'. "No." h eex. "Why not?" I sea. "Well," he sea. '"there's somebody els coming'." "Who I It?" I aaks him. "Th ball teams," he sex. "Her they com now. You see they'a always th last ones to com causa they hav to pow wow and do other things, and their automobile Isn't built on no speed lines." "Well, now they're gone, 11' go." I eex. "Alright," "Al-right," he aea. "But aay, who won th gamer' I aska "Dont know." he answer. 8o we hunrles up to th bulletin board and find out that there wasn't enny gam because be-cause It was Monday. THE SOLUTION. I transfixes Ery with as evil sn as I could make, being crosseyed Ilk 1 am. and asks him what he means by telling me all this mt. He looks dumfnunded (or a mln-nlt, mln-nlt, then I sees something come into his ays and he starts rollln' over and over, figuratively speak-In', speak-In', In laughter. "Ho. Ho." he heller, "that' on on me." he ae. "Course It Monday." "But what wua the crowd?" I Insists. I "8ay." he tells m. "what you wnicn tint ennywnerea around, however, no. aire, not whll there enny naughtholea In Bonneville park. They cum. tearln' up Main street like they wus a fir and barely missus th traffic cop sleep-In' sleep-In' at fifth flouth at a mile a minute. Just behind 'em cum th automobile In varloua decree of pick and span newneaa or spatter end specked antlguenesa and It all sounds Ilk a cloudburst or tha baby cryin' on a cold night. "Every o often a yellow street car comes along and then for a block behind It are automobiles trying to get around It before It stops and makes 'em do likewise. Once In a while It haa to atop to let somebody on and off. And only about half of tha auto owners I wise enough to bend the traffic drinking recently"? "Nothln'." I Insists. In-sists. "Well, yrru must a been tarvln' or drunk snd ao wut I." he declare. "Didn't you notice that crowd waa goln' DOWN Main street. NOT I'P? They wus Juat the ordinary Halt Lake buaineaa people mototin' home from work." "Oo chase yerself. Ananias." I sex. "True as my nam' Exry Hpankel-tum. Hpankel-tum. It' true." h sea "But." I Insist, "th teams, what wui those team In th red ear?" "They?" he aaya. superior like. "They?" "Why they wus nothln' but amateur clubs goln' down to I.urss field to play twilight baseball." base-ball." "Never." I aaya, "will I take thre drink before supper again." "Ditto." aaya Eary, and w shak hands on It. |