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Show 1 1 aa55 IE Tfce B.'s City: Free Warning to Cafegoers: Those stirrers you get with your highball high-ball are not sanitary. . . . Nearly everyone sticks the things into their kissers or runs them over their teeth and the bartenders have no way of sterilizing them before passing them on to the next patron. . . . Suggestion: Carry your own they come in silver and gold. . . . The Jewelry stores can send my commissions com-missions to the Catholic, Jewish and Protestant Charities. Oops! : In Movietown there is a "charm" school that teaches pet animals various stunts and manners. man-ners. The school also coaches the masters of the pets. Columbia Pictures' boss Harry Cohn enrolled his dog in the course. After ten days Mr. Cohn wanted to quit because: "We're not getting anywhere!" "I'm sorry, Mr. Cohn," said the Instructor, "but you will have to learn that you cannot talk to your dog as though he were an actor or a writer." In Other Words: After reading the papers about the way some society so-ciety upstarts are behaving. Bill Schiller memo'd: "They call them thorough-breds. I call them thorough-brats!" Heheheh: Larry Storch, the Copa comic, overheard a man and woman as they came out after witnessing , "The Lost Weekend." "I'm through!" said the man. "With drinking?" she asked. "No, movies!" You've Met Him: One of those bores spoiled a party with a series of spineless stories and loud gab. Finally, he got up to leave. "What I need," he said, "is a little j shut-eye." "What you need," said Phil Brito, . "is a little shut-up!" It Happened: Hollywood actors J report that it happened on the Su- j per-Chief the other week-end. A man nobody knew kept buying drinks for all in the crowded club car. He displayed a wallet packed with $1,000 bills. A film magnate was concerned when he passed out. He helped him to his compartment. Then the producer pro-ducer worried that he would be robbed since the limp one wouldn't think to lock himself in. The producer pro-ducer took the stranger's wallet j for safe-keeping. At noon the producer joined the drunk in the diner and said: "You j were pretty tight last night, so I put you to bed. Here's your wallet." wal-let." The stranger brought a wallet from his own hip and said: "Thanks and here's yours." Merciless Truth: H. L. Mencken says there are two times in every man's life when he is thoroughly happy. Just after he has met his first love and just after he has parted from his last one. The Morning Mail: "Dear Wal- ter," writes a reader, "I spent the week-end in the country. I heard two army horses (which are to be cared for the rest of their lives) congratulating each other on not being mere G.I.s." Saddest Story of the Week: Les Brown, the bandleader, brought it in. . . . It's the saga of the high-wire artist. . . . Poor chap. . . He Jumped 50 feet straight up into the air grabbed a trapeze did 25 fast flips and caught the trapeze between be-tween his teeth with no hands! . . . Imagine! . . .Then he tried it j a second time missed and fell to the stage with a crash that rocked the theater. . . . The producer helped the battered performer to his feet, put him in a chair and said: "You did fine and then you had to louse I it up by getting slapsticky!" Broadway Glossary: Bartender- I The one guy at the bar who knows what he's doing. . . . Marquee: Any actor's heaven. . . . Chanteuse: Not a singer. . . Maestro: Corniest member of the band. . . . Ingenue: Chorus girl who is "Going Places" with the producer. . . . Romance: When he picks up the check. Love: When she does. . . . Manager: Man-ager: An unsuccessful booking agent . . . Critic: District attorney ' invited to the crime. . . . Stagehand: Off-stage prima donna. . . . Pals: The penalty of success. . . . Loyalty: Loyal-ty: Being true to someone on top. . By-Line: What has ruined more writers than hooch. . . . Luck: The other fellow's formula. ' ' aJ IWllllUia. . , , Quotation Marksmanship: A Karr: Friendship between two women is always a plot against each other . A. Dumas: All women desire to be esteemed; they care much less ; about being respected. . . . H Mur-! Mur-! row: Washington, D. C. Is the national na-tional headquarters of three parties I -the Democratic, the Republican and the Cocktail. . . . Anon: Clvili-zation Clvili-zation is the slow process of gradu ally falling in line with the visionary ideas of minorities. . . . M. C. Ban-n'ag: Ban-n'ag: A handsome man, carefilly stored and refrigerated youth. |