OCR Text |
Show a spoon to play wlth and for the ma he was peaceful. . 7ou had a pleasant Journey, I hope." I said to our guest by way of opening tho conversation. - - - -Oh, capltall Baby was so good. ' He never cried once, and slept 'nearly all the way." . . .Tattle Dot." quota Angelica. -"Wow-wow-wow.H cried the baby, brandishing the spoon, and down It came flat on the edg-e of a plate belonging belong-ing to the Crown Derby dinner set given to us on our . marriage by Angelica's An-gelica's brother. It was irretrievably broken, and I hacked savagely at the lamb. "Dld-ums, then," cried Angelica, '"there now! It can't be helped" The mother said "Naughty boy," reprovingly, re-provingly, but she looked pleased because be-cause she saw I was angry. The baby yelled with glee. After dinner I turned for a cigar, but Angelica forestalled me. "Tou mustn't smoke, plesse," she said. "It won' do for baby. I've put your tobacco things in the back room at the top. Tou can smoke there." , - , . , I glared but sail nothing. Then- sud- ?.t,1ly I.nii'ed mr vorite for terrier. "Where's Trumpet?" I asked. "Oh, we've put him out, dear," she tald. 'IWe werw so afraid of baby. Trumpet doesn't like babies, you know," "Good Judge, too,".-1 muttered, and went, forth to the back room at the top, where sundry yells and squalls reached me from the paradise below. That night I was Just dosing into slumber when I heard ihe baby's voice fom the room across the corridor. "Poor thing.", said Angelica, "Mrs. Smythe won't get any rest with him. And she must be so tired after her Journey. Jour-ney. I'll g and bring him in here." . "If you do." I aald. "I'll sleep on tha mat." Then I spent -several of the wakeful hours before dawn in Uatanlng to Angelica's homilies, the unchanging text of which was that the best of men are little better than selfish hogs after all. , During the next few day a while I wag at buslnessthe ladies spent their titna in town, seeing the shops and the shows. Baby was left behind with Mary, an Invaluable In-valuable servant, on whose possession we had often congratulated ourselves. They were several times late for dinner, and when they came home Mary Invariably Invar-iably brought tha baby to me. I endeavored en-deavored to make myself agreeable to him, but he was hard to please. I tried to amuse him by pulUng faces, and he went off Into convulsions of wrath, so that Ied to my own room and left him tied in his chair. When the ladles came home they found him . "black In the face," they said, with pain and neglecl; though I know it was passion; and my wife said some severe things to Mary. Next morning Mary sought "an audience. audi-ence. "If you please, sir," she said, "X want to give notice. I wasn't engaged as a nuss. but as a cook,' and It r.ln t treatin' mo proper. So If you'll take a month" . "My good girl," I said, "I am not surprised, sur-prised, but my position IS even wotae than yours. The unforfOnate child la not well, and In any case he will be here only a few days more, thank God. Now, if you'll put up with It a little longer, and $10 on your wages will compensate you, I hope you will be comfortable again." . . - Mary agreed that in thesa clrcum-, clrcum-, stances perhaps she might make an effort, ef-fort, but Angelica was very angry. "The Impudence of hired girls" wa her theme for several hours. But that night they went to a theater for which I had booked seats, and the baby was put to bed at an early hour. ThotMrh not to sleep! He yelled as one possessed, and at last Mary and I held a consultation. "Do you think It's pins?" ""Not a pin. sir," said Maty. "They re all safeties." "Then is it rheumatism or synorltii, or pains in this thingummy?" "None of them there, sir," mii Mary. '',It's nothln' but nasty temper, an' if h was mine I'd whack his blessed little life out." "Can we give him anythingprvts.'c acid, for Instancy?" . "I don't know about that," sho said, "but since you raised my wsges I bought a, bottle of soothing syrup for him." "Give him the lot." I said. When the ladles returned he was quite peaceful. His mother said I was be con ing domesticated, and wqild itinc a good nursa. Then aha noticed .his breathing and shrieked: "Tou've poisoned pois-oned him!" she cried. . "You've bcor. giving giv-ing him ait opiate!" I lied flatly, but Mary had -left the bottle on -the shelf. However, Just sj the ladles were giving themselves up to despair the little wretch opened his eyer and attested his vitality with a vigorous yell. Early next day Mrs. Smythe left ur barely concealing her opinion that t wa a hardened monster. As we . surveyec' the broken china, the shattered orra-ments. orra-ments. the torn-curtains by vh!ch' ihr young man had essayed to staid, and the , general . havoc of our domfstii peace, Angelica was fain, to admit that babies are rather trying after a day ct ' two. Mrs. Smythe will not stay with vt again until her baby Is old enough' to be' left at home. Kansas City Independent. I SHORT STORY OF THE DAY j place. Why couldn't she coma without the" But She put her hand over my mouth and led me Into the room. Angelica's dear, delightful friend was glad to see me, but the baby set 'up a howl of disgust. He was reclining on a silk-embroidered cushion hitherto cherished cher-ished as the most sacred ornament of the drawing-room.1 and he occupied the ' hearthrug before the Are. "What's tho matter with him?" I said. "Has he got croup?" ;(; The women laughed again. "Why, he's as well aa well can be," cried Angelica, "and he's got the most wonderful lung-lungs in the world." And she bent over him and tlckled.'hlm the while he bawled with a voice that would have turned a newsboy hoarse with envy. "Take him out In the garden then." I growled. "He'll frighten the cats away." Angelica looked hurt and Mrs. Smythe glared. I had made another enemy for life. But dinner was brought In, and the diversion saved me for the moment. The young gentleman, ' who had attained at-tained to the ripeness of fpurteen months, was placed in a baby chrlr which had formed part of the luggago and had given the expressman Justifl.ra-tlon Justifl.ra-tlon for a monstrous overcharge. Being i too young to eat with us, he was given 9 . .. ; THE BORROWED BABY. ' j It wasn't our baby. Jin that case it might have been different. ' People make allowances for their own. and are only critical of the offspring of others. I seem to remember that was how Angelica An-gelica put It, and I dare say she was right-' Women know more about babies than men do, and I didn't attempt tq criticise her dictum. One learns wis-i wis-i dbm as one grows older in the married ''' state, , ... V But this was how it happened. Angelica An-gelica has a friend, an old school friend, who is married and lives somewhere in - the wilds of Kansas. She says she is the dearest girl that ever lived. , the most delightful and faithful CTeature, and she must be burled alive in that horrid little side-track In the country. So she must needs invite her to come' and spend a fortnight with us that she . might revel in the urban gayetles and partake of the giddiness of the season. A very hospitable woman Is Angelica, arid, of Course, stfe had her way. One, evening when I went home I found that the peace which brooded oyer the domestic scene had been rudely rude-ly shattered. As I opined the door I stumbled over a perambulator, and my ears were rent by a shriek of infantile distemper," which was followed by a series of angry gurgles. Angelica came rushing into the hall in great excitement, excite-ment, and clutched me by the arm. "Oh, the dear, delightful Iccle sing," she cried; "the bootlful iccky pet. "Don't be ridiculous," I eaJd, severely;, severe-ly;, "you know I am nothing of the sort 1 And do. please, talk English." "You!" Then she waa convulsed with laughter. "I'm not talking of you,, but of the baby. Mrs. Bmythe has come and brought him. The sweetest, most bootlful boo-tlful iccle picture of a boy you ever saw." , , . . "Rot!" I said, rudely. "Babies are beasta. I didn't bargain for a day and 'night nursery when X rigged up this . ' " -:. ' : |