Show NING MARCH 31 19 1 S 'S 1 V A At t S V I MUCH TOO STRONG Customer This doesn't tast taste milk What Wha t Is S wrong with it It Milkman Theres a new marins man manIng maning mar man Ing ins the cans and he didn't t put IT In enough water but it'll be all right I time S 5 I JAZZ AND PROHIBITION Dy By George Jean Nathan So far as I have been able to g I from the tho statistics the only thir I America that has thus far been r rby rby ri r riby by Jazz is the national eardrum than this far from being a m me me Jazz has proved a boon at the tho period in our national life wh when n f fi cial depression has stalked the with a sour snicker r. r Wi With h h hunt hun n I of thousands of m mem mn n out of em emment ment it has given employment to i sands of ot waiters walters bus b bOys ys bootleg bass bas drummers piano players phone tooters taxicab drivers c cette ci ciotto J otto ette girls shoo shoe manufacturers 1 manufacturers the latest Mood 1 ports show that the Acme Sock pany's last dividend was 10 per peras as against 1 per cent before re the c c walk and came in er ers of tables cigar dealers managers interior decor decon makers of high highball all glasses flower flowed mayonnaise dressing experts of restaurant checks telephone oj op tors elevator operators door ten tene and others I fail fall to b become come gr excited over the thought that United States is drinking itsel itsell death from the statistics v w show that in a single year of pro prof tion the tho amount of drinking more than 37 per cent we have th ominous fact act that i steadily becoming more difficult t toa to toa a decent drink unless one belon belong the same college fraternity as a aT steward a federal enforcement of ofa offia a doctor or an expert forger 1 Tj lJ are some of us patriots of course took time by the forepaugh and andin andin andi in enough of the lawless stuff to f guard the circus for at least eigl ten years more Judge Judge TOM SIMS SAYS J Trying to buy bootleg whisky iSla gerou You might succeed II I The funniest stunts in the nio mi mo are pulled by the censors ors We need autos that will count a adred h dred before hitting pedestrians 1 Maybe a married man doesn't his wIfe more often because he ri ran ral finds her mouth shut Germany Is shipping cigars to A Am ica Still trying to get evenA even A man who ho Is always making hasn't time to make a sue Once we saved for a rainy day 11 we save for an Income tax day How do you eat your meals social hints One at a time 1 J Last of our Rhine army is ord r home In Germany you get two st ste of beer for 1 cent V Pr Pretty tty soon well we'll be wanting w win to play an encore Washington says homes be built in 1922 Raising roofs lo low rents California motto If at first dont don't convict try try again Bal Bai Q more Sun I A STRANGE DISEASE Neighbor Neighbor- r I hear your father sick What has he got 1 Small son Hes got the doctor docto CLOS CLOSED SEASON SON First cootie to partner In Aw Aw out Second cootie warily warily No doln Mother was washed out of at h hand and home only last Saturday First cootie scornfully scornfully scornfully-Aw Aw W. W ci cm Its It's awn now They got the bat full of ot coal From From American Le Leg Weekly V ON HER 1 I I went to a fountain with Mary And met with an awful mishap For I awkwardly emptied a bottle bottI Of ot soda all over her lap But Mary was gentle and gracious For none Is so tactful as she And smiling with perfect composure composure 1 Said sweetly The drinks are areme n nm m me I THE THE CHANGE HA GE Wife Wife Before Before we were married Yf used to swear you would love me ways ways now now you only swear SOMETHING SOM WRONG j Bobbys Bobby's dog TV was as limping along 0 three feet Look daddy Tags Tag's not hitting 0 all four cylinders j More earthquakes In They're awfully sensitive about n meD them out there Its It's said HiD newspapers pers now use the heading heading- eat I Lat est Movements In Real l Estate J V TOM SIMS SAYS The latest Hollywood wood crime is t way they put o out comedies dies t Our senate Is making but It Isn't going anywhere re t Soul mates turn out to b be skipp Gloom Gloom and 1 and pessimism area con comP nation in restraint restrain t of trade British political machine seems te be having haing Injun trouble ble J Five paydays hath April t Un Uncle lo Joes Joe's record In congress re rca read like ike he is Uncle Sams Sam's brother I Allies to Pass on U U. S S. S Payment Headline Pass is the word H Health aIth hint Buy the wife a 1 ha hAman A man claims he married fourteen fifteen times because he was hit b by J by-J baseball bat when young Baseball is V dangerous J |