Show Dead Beat Who Goes to a Barber Shop for Nothing but a Shave In the October American Magazine Stephen Leacock known as the tho Canadian Mark Twain writes an amusing piece entitled Under the tho Barbers Barber's Knife Tho rho following owIng is an extract I II Vho s been doing your jour OUr work worle he asked This question from tram the tho barber I lias has no na reference to ono ones one's s dally daily tion It Jt means Who ho has been shaving yau you I I Knew It was wa best beet to ta own up r Id I'd been In tho wrong Tong and I meant to ac- ac it with perfect frankness Ive I've been shaving myself I said My ly barber stood back from me mo in contempt There Thero was a Q distinct sensation sensa- sensa tion lion all down tho the line of at barbers One Ono of at them threw throw a wet rag in a a. corner with witha a thud and another sent a sudden squirt from an atomizer into his customers customer's eyes as a mark of oC disgust My Iy barber continued to look laok at me mc narrowly II What razor do you yon use he said II A safety razor I answered Tho barber ha had begun to ta dash soap over my face faco but he stopped stopped aghast aghast at what I had saIdA saidA said saidA A safety razor to a a. barber is like a ared ared ared red rag to a a. bull bulb If It it was me me he went on beating lather into me us lilt he lie spoke I 1 wouldn't let one ono of ot them things near my face tace No There ain aint t no f safety ety in them They tear the tiro hide clean off oft you you just Just rake e the hair hall right out by the follicles as as he ald said this he was illustrating his meaning with Jabs of ot his razor razor- them them things s cut a mans man's face all nil to pieces pieces' he Ire Jabbed a sUck stick of alum against an nn open cut that he had made made and and as for tor cleanliness for sanitation I z wouldn't have em round mo me for tor a u fortune fortuno I 1 said nothing I knew I 1 had do- do served it ft and I kept quiet The barber gradually y subsided Under Under Un Un- der other circumstances ho would have told me same something thIng of ot the spring traInIng train traIn- ing of or tho the baseball clubs club or the last Items from tram the Jacksonville track or an any of or thO those e things thInKs which a cultivated man loves O CM to hear discussed between breakfast breakfast break break- fast and business But I was not nal wo v th th it As ho lie neared the tho end of ot the slats slats' ing log he spoke again this thin time In a conn- conn almost yearning tone Massage ho said said No r thank you rou ou Shampoo the scalp he ho whIspered No thanks Singe the hair hairy he coaxed No Na thanks The barber made one more mare effort Sa Say ho Ire said eald in m my car ear ns as a thing concerning himself and mo me alone a your OUT hairs hair's pretty well all an falling failing out You'd You'll better hetter let me Just shampoo up the scalp a bit olt and stop them up follicles 01 or I pretty soon boon you wont won't wont won't II MN No 13 thank y you u. u I said not today was all an tho the barber could stand lIe Ho saw that I was Just one ono of at those thoo miserable mis- mis c erable dead beats beati who como come to a barber balber shop hOI merel merely for a 11 shave and who carry carr away the scalp and the follicles and all the b barbers barber's perquisites as if Ir they be belonged be- be longed to them |