Show 1 FRIEND INTERCEDES th IN BEHALF OF CHUM W r FACING SEPARATION fi V Self Consciousness Shows Fear of Ability to Be or DoI Do Doas Girl Thinks Boys Boy's I as Well a as Others i 1 Finances Are Handicap By BETTY BLAIR r r. r Lack of pf knowledge of self and of the physical and spiritual spiritual spiritual spirit spirit- the perfect marriage often block the ual r requirements for happiness that could otherwise be achieved The remedy could often be found by following the advice of a physician of marital adjust adjust- or of an authentic book on on the problems ment mente Dear iDear miss Blair Recently I visited a friend of mine mirie who is very unhappy She was my college chum and a very lovely and charmIng charmIng charm- charm Ing log girl She has I I been married for I 14 eight years During r eart nr I the past two years I I I of ot her marriage her l husband has be been n I D 0 unfaithful He IsI is isI ise I I Int rude and indifferent ent exit to her and tells e a V I I her she isn't want- want ed cd She has always alwa's c kept a good home for him has been a good and faithful wife wile and Is very sW sweet Ct and charming She hesitates to leave him because because because be be- she has I cause since her marri marriage ge lost her father and mother and has no rio other relatives It means going out into the world all aU alone sides Besides she still loves her husband and thinks he lie will c get t over his present attitude d He HehM has hM a government position but says nys he wont won't give her any allowance allowance allowance allow allow- ance and that she cant can't collect Any from him She is so worried and sick as this trouble has arisen through no fault of her own She has asked me inc what she should do so will you please advise me what what to tell teU her Thank you G Tragedies such as this you have related often occur in marrI married d life lic because of maladjustment of the sex relations between husband and wife wire Hundreds ds of doctors testify to this fact With a full confession of the Intimate life lie of 01 husband and wife to toa a first class elass physician and his consequent consequent consequent conse conse- 1 quent and fr frank advice many such tra tragedies edies have been averted by the adjustment of the physical life that follows Intimate to your our friend that her life may need such adjustment and that she should rankly with witha a reputable physician Other than this adjustment there f q- q Is the spiritual relationship that needs bolstering up An entirely new program program pro pro- gram grant f for r the wl wife which will if pos possible sible include the husband in its Interests Interests In In- must be formulated Sh She C should begin this new new campaign first for for tor herself and grad gradually allY as as her strength and new life become more apparent she can enlist his enlist his sympathy and understanding It may be work somewhat related to his own l If poS poS- pos t sib sible e Into which she plunges with her whole heart and soul It may be work vork that is or is not remunerative With her college background she should be a leader in this ch chosen sen field Not probably at first but as asher her powers poy and ability become b better better bet bet- tI t- t I ter known she will vill surely gain the love Jove and respect ct of others with whom 0 she he Is associated In her w work rk Every husband likes to feel teel that his wife is the sort who is admired by others His ms own own interest In her may be reawakened reawakened re re- re- re awakened awak ned by the knowledge that she has become essential to some other cat cause st By buIld building g up this spiritual life me meshe she will have little time to think of her own grief She will be in a better better bet bet- ter t r position to reclaim the physical love of her husband No marriage can be successful without an adjustment adjust t. t ment of ot the two kinds of love The spiritual l relationship between two may w weaken aken and fall into disrepute because of lack of physical al love and adjustment A very enlightening book on the question and one one that every prospective bride and groom rand mid young m married couple should I read Is The Sex Technique In Marriage Mar by Dr Isabel Emslie Hutton nooks Books treating on the on-the the spiritual values of married life are Sex and Youth by Eddy and Modern Youth and Marriage by N Neumann Every mar mar- Tied ned and about to be married person should hould read them If separation on or divorce become inevitable inevitable in in- evitable m most certainly your friend can ah obtain financial aid if proof o or of h tier r h husbands husband's infidelity is Js to be had SELF CONSCIOUS FEARS Dear Miss Blair I am a high school girl and am very self O Whenever I have bave to recite before the class I 1 get so upset that I feel teel sick It Itt upsets my digestion Otherwise t I 1 am perfectly well and healthy f 1 If a boy stops stopa and speaks to me in the han hall it has a similar effect My tongue becomes becomes' para para- 1 I I. I and my knees and hands shake hake and I get weak all over f I must do something to over over- J f come this or I will never succeed Letters questions and requests re reo quests for advice should be addressed ad dressed to MISS BET BETTY T Y BLAIR HEARTS HEART'S HAVEN TELEGRAM SALT L LAKE AK E. E Write legibly upon only one side of the paper It is necessary th that t you append append ap up- pend the ri right ht nome name and address ad ad- dress but these will be held in to strict confidence and will m nit nd t appear in print Questions involving in in- advertising information cannot be answered In life Please Pleas tell teU me rae what to do I do not feel teel this way around girls whom I know but if any girl whom I think is above me speaks to me and tries to talk to tome tome tome me I act completely tely dumb because because because be be- cause of this awful feeling that comes over me Thank you for any suggestions you may make NINON Self consciousness can usually be traced to a feeling of inferiority This is founded on that state slate of mind in which h a person imagines he is 13 Inferior In In- mentally physically or socially social social- ly to others The feeling usually develops de de- de velo in early childhood from careLess care care- less ess remarks or frequent criticism from Crom elders or childhood companions Often otten these remarks are Harbored for years year The actual things said or or done may nay be forgotten but the Uie piled plIed up effects are never forgotten For example in your own case cS you ou may h have vc been ridiculed or severely se verely scolded even though an at at- attempt tempt had been made to do your best beston From on a particular assignment that time on your sensitiveness made you OU feel fearful or apprehensive when you rou thought you might be asked to todo todo tolo do lo the same thing again If somebody somebody some some- body had told you at that time that there was nothing to fear and that you were as capable as ns your classmates classmates class class- mates nates providing you studied your lessons leMons you might have overcome your fear and your self But the thing went on and md on piling up sp fear and a feeling of Inferiority and md incapability Look back in your own mind and sort ou the circumstances that may have dave caused this feeling of fear and Inferiority In the light of today's knowledge the circumstances will vill seem very foolish Laugh at them and tell yourself they were unworthy of t consideration Cant Can't you make yourself believe today that you have nothing to fear and nd that you you are as capable as your classmates Remember that your experiences experiences ex ex- ex- ex are not peculiar to you alone ilone that at some time nearly everyone has had them Try to consider con con- si sider er that you are as important to the scheme schem of things as That you have your little niche to fill nil and that y you u can do so as is well as 35 anybody y else You can remedy your present shortcomings only if f you make this sincere effort to put a proper estimate te on your own self self- i importance port nce FINANCES HAMPER LOVE Dear Miss Blair I have been going coing with a boy for about four months I like him and I feel sure he likes me and enjoys my company After At After t r rhe he had come to s see e me regularly for two months he suddenly stopped coming so regularly and called me only about every two weeks for an appointment I have learned from friends that he continues to go to parties but that he doesn't d take a girL I really think the reason why he be doesn't come como so often otten is because because be be- because cause he has little money to spend He seems to like m me as aswell aswell aswell well as ever ever when he does docs come cometo cometo cometo to s see e me rue I just imagine he thinks I would think him ch cheap ap It If he came came up and spent the evening evening eve eve eve- ning at home with me without taking me someplace ce What can canI I do to let him know w I would would like to have him call on me wh whether he takes m me inc any place or not Thank you LEE LULA LUL LEE Young Youn oung people are very frank witt each other today Arent Aren't you friendly friend ly enough with this boy that yom yov ro J could bring up the question o oi finances and let let him him know you would like him to call whether or or not he hc takes you any place I If not you arE arc privileged to invite him to your home regardless and provide an evening entertainment at cards dancing music or games game It is always ys a a nice thing for such oc occasions to invite z few other friends and serve light re This g gesture sture on your part would le Ie him him know that you like him for him himself himself self alone whether or not he was abl to spend money on you |